Sometimes I think that this forum is the only thing that's keeping me sane.
I feel understood when I say things here that I couldn't say to my friends without them thinking that I'd lost the plot, or was being over-dramatic or unreasonable.
I think I've made it up with my friend, but he still thinks that I over-reacted and am too focussed on myself.
I forwarded him this quote that I got from the ADHD Foundation:
Not enough people realise that ADHD is not a disorder about loss of focus. It is a disorder of loss of emotional control, which is triggered by outside influences, self-esteem and our interpretation of events. Whether this is positive or negative it triggers us to hyper focus on what consumes our thoughts. Staying positive is critical and distancing oneself from hurtful people is essential, in order to live a life with purpose.
One of the things he's always loved about me is my ability to feel everything so deeply. He still doesn't realise that the smallest thing can break my heart.
Anyway, I'm just here now to let you know that I'm feeling a lot better now and I haven't cried since lunchtime - yay!
and my ex, who I consider to be my best friend, who I've known for 30 years, has just put up pictures on FB of his big 50th birthday party.
He said that he wasn't going to have one when I asked a month or so ago. It would have been nice to be invited.
Oh vagueandrandom, that does sound like a rough time you're going through I know you said elsewhere that you probably haven't lost your best friend, but I hope that he had a good reason for why you weren't invited? It seems a little crappy to not have invited you and then put the pictures up on FB when you'd asked about his party. Something I've realised - just because we're 'difficult' or hard to get close doesn't mean we should settle for less than adequate treatment, or feel grateful to friends who stick around. If you wouldn't do that to your friend, then you have a right to know why he did that to you...
vagueandrandom Playing devil's advocate here, I wonder if there's something in him that craves having a push-pull relationship with you, that likes creating a position where he then gets to 'refuse' to stop being your friend...
And FYI, not being invited to your best friend's party and not being told about it is NOT a small thing. You have a right to feel upset, I'm pretty sure most people would feel like that, ADHD or not.
I was a member of a forum for about 5 years and couldnt make virtual friends either. I was always upset and surprised when I discovered there was loads of people having skype meet-ups and google hang-outs!
In work I slowly realise everyone is friends on facebook and some going for pints after work and becoming friends. I try to brush it off. I know its because I dont know how to grease that social wheel and move aquaintances into friendships.
At the moment I have a friend who conveniently doesnt see facebook messages and doesnt reply. I already told her to put me out of my misery and say she didnt want to be friends anymore and she got really upset.
I'm always ready to be rejected. I get the feeling you are too. I often think its because I, (we) grow up not understanding social rules and cant become adept at them as adults.
I hope a new home will fill you with optimism of new friends and a fresh start. (sounds like a housewarming card, hallmark here I come!)
Born outside the Universal, it's a lonely place to be On a road going somewhere, just where you cannot see And you meet no fellow travellers on the path that calls your name But when you leave the campfire, life can never be the same
You're thankful you can see it, but they don't want to know They'll never leave the camp fire with its light and heat and glow But you were called to wander, to question, doubt and test To leave behind illusion and find no place to rest
Happy Birthday vagueandrandom! I really hope things get better for you soon! It looks such a stress moving house, its a lot to co-ordinate for anyone never mind when theres additional problems with contracts and stuff!
We've moved around quite a lot when I was a kid and remember my mam being so stressed with it and in tears a lot, and she doesnt have adhd and is the most organised person i know!
You're almost there with it though now, so just try and keep going!