twinks
Member's not posted much yet
Posts: 11
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Post by twinks on Mar 24, 2016 23:14:08 GMT
Time to share.. I moved home after 17 year's to mums house. It has not been easy. She has OCD, I'd love to be organised like it and have the confidence to go with it would be great.. We have fallen out over simple things like a pile of letters not sorted out or put away..tidey wardrobes, shelves, garage, car, to much time on phone or laptop... Things have actually got easier. Though in saying that, Im free to come and go all I want. She seldom asks were I was, who was with or what time that was to come in at etc.. OMG is this a "adhd thing" I can only go to sleep if I create a whole elaborate scenario I'm really into in my mind. like designing my dream home or imagining and running through really exiting perfect days out or creating some kind of story almost like creating my very own dream but I'm not asleep. x
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Post by vagueandrandom on Mar 30, 2016 18:15:07 GMT
Today I managed to get myself out of the house by about 3pm to do the top 'to do' which has been at the top for over a week. . .
Go to the jobcentre to ask if I could get an appointment with a Disability Employment Advisor to talk about what type of work I might do
and to get advice about what/when to disclose my physical and mental limitations. . . seems easy enough!
NO! . . after being sent to another part of the building, I got to talk to the people who provide these services. . they do exist. . .
BUT they can't help me because I'm not claiming benefits. . they suggested that I should claim Universal Credit, or get my GP to write a letter for ESA. . .
I nearly bust into tears in the office!!
However, by some kind of miracle, there's still a Remploy office in the city. . I thought the government had shut them all down!
So I've got an appointment on Monday. . let's see what happens. .
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Post by clubby on Mar 30, 2016 21:10:07 GMT
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Post by marionk on Mar 30, 2016 23:28:36 GMT
Sadly, all too believable . . . and proves that the powers that be aren't really interested in getting disabled into employment, only off benefits.
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merrial
Member's posted somewhat
Posts: 63
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Post by merrial on Mar 31, 2016 4:30:13 GMT
I hope things work out with the re employ people, I've not heard of...all sounds stressful Vagueandrandom I'm looking for a new job
and people keep telling me to do this do that...jeeps I've had the same job for 11 yrs. I hate filling in forms!!
But at least the Nurse at the ADHD clinic has said she or they can help. It means going on courses and I could be out of work for a while.
So will be interesting to hear how you get on
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Post by vagueandrandom on Mar 31, 2016 11:31:33 GMT
merrial and marionk I'll do you a quick recap as you're both fairly new to the forum and don't expect you to have read my many pages of diary. . I moved up north from London not long after being dx and have been having problems with my new GP and am am back on the waiting list to get ADHD help. I've failed to make friends so far so have no support. The move was supposed to be for quality of life. . I made a small profit when I sold my flat and bought a house so I can get by without benefits for the time being, but not for too long. . I really like the external structure of a job and I'd meet people, but I've always been underemployed (I have an MA) and quite like physical work, but my eds is causing me more and more problems with dislocations and lack of strength. I've lost a few jobs, I realise now, due to ADHD. . I don't consider myself to be disabled, but am coming to the conclusion that I actually am. . . so I thought I'd seek advice on approaching work from this new perspective. Remploy is like an employment agency for disabled people. . they used to have factories and workshops, but it was decided by the government that disabled people should work in the mainstream (and it cuts their budget) and closed them. I thought the whole organisation had been shut down. . lucky for me that they haven't.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 6, 2016 9:40:42 GMT
Update and explanation. . .I've been quite depressed and stressed and finding it really hard to find any kind of focus or motivation recently. .
I haven't even been able to entertain myself on the forum. The increased dose in meds just makes me tired and I have massive crashes. .
I have no energy and the past few days I've been feeling really sick and feverish.
I have my family coming to stay (which I'm dreading) and I'm so behind on cleaning and tidying. . .
So. . .I went for a chat at Remploy on Monday and it went quite well. . .I think that I need something like that to push me into getting out of
the house and talking to people. . .there's an elaborate referral process via DWP, so don't know when it will start.
Back to counselling. . . . . . he's had his last chance, I know he's trying, but we just don't get on and this time he asked. .
'do you think that you might be depressed?' . . .WTF does he think I'm there for?!!
He doesn't know anything about ADHD, even if he says he does and he's started talking to me about CBT. . . . .Grrrrr!!!!
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 6, 2016 10:22:59 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 12, 2016 9:51:46 GMT
I've just got back from a chat with the disability employment advisor at the jobcentre (Remploy referral)
Which was very underwhelming . . feel a bit of a fraud. . .
Had a major shoulder dislocation on Saturday, so have been stuck in the house doing nothing and getting depressed.
Still no return call about changing my counsellor and can't face calling back.
I have to get out of the house and get some mental stimulation, but can't think what to do.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 12, 2016 18:57:10 GMT
is there a local gig? an art class or studio? something with local MIND or equiv? a voluntary opportunity? there must be orgs gagging for somebody with your skills/experience/aptitude! a walking club - or similar thing where you don't have to talk to people? it'd be great to have something gentle & not at all demanding, but that gives you a chance to lose your self for a bit while you're there, in a spacious sort of way. so sorry about the DWP. and about your shoulder. that's really hard, esp being in a whole new place hope you mend v soon. when my daughter was little we had "sick toys" - a whole box of interesting toys, books, puzzles etc which only came out when she was sick (plus a few for me!). they kind of added a positive to the negative. i've kind of got into the habit of having my own equivalent of sick toys - things that i've put to one side for when i'm stuck at home, which feed something in me. i've got loads of different craft projects, knitting projects, music projects, writing projects, home sorting jobs. lots of stuff to make, do, watch, listen to, play with, experiment with - something for almost every circumstance. i still get a bit fed up when it's my hands that are really struggling, so that lots of things aren't possible. but generally it helps.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 13, 2016 11:34:52 GMT
I ended up going to my Pilates class, which I was in 2 minds about re my shoulder. But I went and told the instructor, didn't do much with my arms, but I find it quite calming. . A bit like meditation. . it's slow, you're told what to do and how to breathe. . I then bought pizza, ice cream, and wine, had a text chat with an online friend, slept well and woke up to sun! feel much better today, although still haven't got anything done, but that's OK, my mood is better and I'm going away for the weekend
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Post by smogz101 on Apr 13, 2016 19:51:49 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 14, 2016 12:30:19 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 18, 2016 13:34:00 GMT
Had a lovely weekend, but seem to be suffering from post holiday blues.
I had to be up early this morning to see the nice GP. I woke up in such a state of distress! Started crying and still haven't stopped. . .
rumination. . .Not a good thing to turn up at the Dr in tears. . he says (again) that he's going to chase up my referral to ADHD services. .
He wants to put me on antidepressants, but I want to get my ADHD treatment sorted out first. .
I've had terrible experiences of antidepressants and their side effects in the past. .
the person who's responsible for changing my counselling is off this week. .
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Post by manson88 on Apr 18, 2016 21:48:00 GMT
Oh dear not so good... Let's be kind to ourselves be positive... Tomorrow is another day... X
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 18, 2016 22:55:15 GMT
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 20, 2016 10:29:34 GMT
Two wasted days in a row. . . couldn't get anything done due to rumination taking up all of my brain. .
Followed by 2 nights when I got a song in my head I had to listen to ending up in not getting to bed 'till 4am!
So now I'm tired. . .why do I do this to myself?
Yesterday was the first time in ages when Pilates didn't help. . couldn't focus. . .music was terrible. .
Today, my only aim is to get the bedsheets changed and washed. . .
If I get that done, my day will be a success . . fewer aims = less chance of failure.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 20, 2016 16:05:52 GMT
Hooray!! Got the sheets washed and on the line by 2 . . .just managed to make the bed. . which I dread. . I find duvet covers really hard because I once dislocated my shoulder shaking one out, so it takes ages. . got a couple of minor things done too. . quite often do when I decide that I don't have to.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 21, 2016 12:21:00 GMT
Stress, stress, stress . . . the secondary MH service called this morning. . .the place I've been referred to for ADHD I didn't answer (as usual) and they left a message. . I called back straight away (so I wouldn't have time to get anxious) and the person I need to talk to was busy and could they call me back? That was 3 hours ago. . .I haven't been able to start any tasks because the anxiety's getting crippling. . . Do I call back? (I feel sick just thinking about it. . .it's lunchtime now. . may not be there. . .) Getting my treatment back on track is the single most important thing in my life right now. . . Will be back later to say what happens. . . .
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 21, 2016 13:04:12 GMT
*ALL THE SWEARWORDS THAT HAVE EVER EXISTED IN EVERY LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!* They called back. . .said they were not clear what the referral was for. . .had the letter from my previous ADHD consultant but the referral letter just went on about 'low mood'. . . that's from the GP who I'm sure doesn't believe ADHD exists!!!!!! FFS!!! They don't have an ADHD service . . .Quelle Surprise!. . . I told them that I wanted to continue my treatment as it was interrupted by my move and my meds have not been sorted. . . I asked if they'd be able to refer me to Wakefield, but they said it's up to my GP. . . . . I'm going to write a letter. GP doesn't seem to have my records yet either, so should chase that up too. . and have another search for the medical letters in the file that I couldn't find the other day. . . I have a psych assessment with a MH nurse on 3rd May. . Upset and angry and exhausted. .
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Post by clubby on Apr 21, 2016 19:39:55 GMT
Makes me want to stand with a placard outside Downing Street.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 21, 2016 20:05:05 GMT
bums vagueandrandomthat sounds like a huge amount of phone-related stress after waiting for ages for assistance after being referred to what sounds like the wrong team by a GP who doesn't know what they're doing ? i guess having an appt with a local mh person is progress at least s/he may be able to get back to the GP and tell them how the system works ((((())))) xxxx
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Post by marionk on Apr 21, 2016 22:40:13 GMT
/me shakes her head in dismay Leaving the ignorant GP to one side . . . Did you manage to explain to the MH people that called that you, what the situation is? Are you completely without medication now, or just getting the last one you tried repeated? At least you have an appointment for an assessment. Hopefully the MH team will pay more attention to the consultant's letter and diagnosis than your GP has! Actually, I don't really understand what's going on tbh. You've already had a diagnosis, right? And your previous consultant gave you a letter with your diagnosis and current state of medication etc, and that it still needs to be adjusted, so why are they faffing around? Sorry, that's not really helping, but I can't get my head around the fact that they don't seem to understand that, even though I have, and I have ADD.
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 22, 2016 11:10:04 GMT
marionk . . I think I got everything across. . I started by telling her that I am anxious using the phone. Kept stopping her to repeat. . cried a bit. . Told her that I was dx last year and had follow up in September part way through med titration. . Have been maintaining meds through GP until I can continue treatment with specialist. . . which is what I thought I'd been referred for. . . I asked if they could refer me to specialist adult ADHD service in Wakefield, but they said out of area is GPs responsibility. Asked at the end if she thought I should ask my GP to refer me to Wakefield . . She said that it's always good to ask. . So I've written and hand delivered a letter to the GP. and now I've come down with a cold.
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 22, 2016 11:36:36 GMT
well done vagueandrandomlook after yourself - snuggling down, warmth, fluids & nice things til you feel better xx
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 22, 2016 12:36:41 GMT
Thanks contrarymary . . I haven't had a cold for ages. . haven't strayed far from my bed. . just to kitchen and bathroom. . I'm really wiped out. .
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Post by contrarymary on Apr 22, 2016 17:46:35 GMT
curl up with hot water bottle, flask of hot drink & radio 4 - or netflix /box set if you feel up to it
let life blow past you for a day or two
rest, recovery, restoration
it's a full-time job
xxx
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 24, 2016 13:46:11 GMT
I haven't been so ill in years! 2 days in bed! Woke up this morning feeling much better. . even sorted out the cupboard under the stairs. Then ran out of steam. . but, hey! I've been meaning to do it for 2 weeks! Achievement!
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Post by vagueandrandom on Apr 26, 2016 9:41:48 GMT
So I went to the induction session at Remploy yesterday. .
It it was a group session with 4 of us listening to stuff and filling in forms. . .
Which was not ideal because the room was open plan with the 'doorway' opening onto
the corridor leading to the toilet and there were people talking loudly and walking past
and the other side had windows onto a busy street. . . distractions galore!
The man talking the session was the one I spoke to before and he noticed and asked them to keep
the noise down. . . we then talked about MH issues and had an informal chat over coffee . .
Still feeling rough from the cold. . realised that it was the first time in a week that I'd talked
to someone face to face . . must get out more. . .
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Post by justsawasquirrell on Apr 26, 2016 9:51:58 GMT
Well done, especially you are feeling under the weather. Must get out more..hold that thought ( who am I trying to kid? ), I suppose becoming more familiar with surroundings helps lessen the distraction, or should
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