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Post by Mouse on May 4, 2009 10:04:10 GMT
Daytrana... hmmm.... sound a bit too like 'daytrance' for me!!! sorry 'lightweight' brain intervenes.
I felt Concerta did diddly for me at the max dose my psych would px. I was taking that as having trouble remembering to take equasym.I in the end I have given up on equasym and am dithering about going back to psychiatrist for review. Perhaps I should request Ritalin rather than Equasym.
I found if I forgot to take Equasym at regular intervals the turbulence that followed as it wore off was more disruptive than not taking it at all.. if that makes sense. Would this have anything to do with the brand.. making the turbulence worse .. I refer to the 'cleaner' aspect earlier poster mentions?
At moment I manage at work without meds - and my manager has arranged for me to have a meeting with our occupational therapist at work to discuss possible accommodations, etc.
I love my job and think it is the best possible 'job fit' for me but I recently just missed out by the merest mark on being put forward for assessment with a view to becoming an 'expert' in some of the services I cover. This was due to me being forgetful / not pemanently mindful of making my phone available.
Then I started reviewing things and realised that so far I have not thought about asking for a single accommodation to help me - despite me saying I would if necessary. I brought this to the attention of my trainer and then my manager- arranged OT meeting.
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Post by Mouse on May 4, 2009 9:30:45 GMT
I used to be Glorioustwelfth (on other sites) as my birthday is 12th August aka The Glorious Twelfth /the start of the grouse shooting season. Also was quite apt as I can be a huge grouse myself... but I opted for Mouse as that suited my state of mind at the time of registering on this and other sites. I think I was more subdued whilst getting to grips with dx of ADD.
Also considering 'Worm' as in ' the worm is turning!'
Or 'TrickyDog' - because apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks!!
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Post by Mouse on Apr 29, 2009 12:40:05 GMT
Rant away - I used feel something similar when I had a sociopath manager micromanaging me. I don't know how I didn't end up clocking her one. I used to end up too stressed to drive.
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Post by Mouse on Apr 29, 2009 12:33:54 GMT
I only know that when I need an answer I need it NOW !!!!!!!!!!!! so that is my definition of urgent. I occasionally can see the 'urgency' of someone else's 'urgent' but more often than not I am thinking... your lack of planning is not my emergency....... Which is a touch rich considering that I am 'last minute' personified.
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Post by Mouse on Apr 29, 2009 0:13:04 GMT
So many elements in this journal that i can relate to.
Leaving message in tone that is not well received by OH! Impatient to get in touch and kee dialling an engaged number and getting more uptight with each engaged tone!
Anything not 'working' that is IT related. I have no patience and have often rung the IT helpdesk (and have you ever rung one and got through straight away - big mistake for world's most impatient person....) and been told the problem is with the 'operator' not the software....
dreading being in crowded / busy environment. Have just got new specs and found shopping in Tesco all too much.. wanted to run ... it was 'too in my face' and too in focus for comfort.
In addition to your accurate and illustrative list I can add....
I log off machine for comfort break and find myself sitting on the loo staring into space - no idea how much time has passed. Am now trying to make all 'comfort' sorties in my coffee and lunch breaks because do not want indelicate log of what must look like a fascination with toilets to be recorded on my work record when they analyse my stats....
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Post by Mouse on Apr 28, 2009 23:56:29 GMT
Sometimes I try to go by a different route home just to ring the changes.
I'll decide on the alternative route as I walk back to the car and by the time I'm exiting the car park my 'Brian' (as I like to call this thing that seems to have a life of it's own independent of my wishes) will have me driving along the usual route.
Just like Homer Simpson I can guarantee to be having a 'Dohhhhh' moment at least twice a week.
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Post by Mouse on Apr 28, 2009 23:46:03 GMT
Mrs Muddle - 'SNAP!!' My husband grew a beard as a sort of silent protest many years ago and I hated it so much that I stopped really looking at his face. I guess that whenever I looked at him I just saw what I wanted to and ignored the facial fuzz (which grossed me out). I'd obviously got this off to a fine art because it was many days before I realized that, protest over, he'd shaved it off and once more was the man I knew and loved!
Lily - I have to say I always feel gladdened when someone else understands the way I see / experience the world. Makes you feel a lot less isolated!!
You wrote "I would just think "no no no thats far too simple" " and I am experiencing that very feeling everyday at the moment - when having to answer customer questions about council tax - I examine the figures and often cannot trust that the first answer can be the correct one. The more I re-work the figures the more I muddle and confuse myself... ah well...
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Post by Mouse on Apr 20, 2009 21:31:52 GMT
I think we notice more things on the peripherary that others won't spot, but often miss what is blindingly obvious to everyone else. I'll notice all sorts of background details in a film but probably couldn't tell you what the plot was.
And allied to seeing things the complete opposite way to others.. often I find I'm overcomplicating things, sometime forget things can be straightforward! I think, speaking for myself, that this is because my mind has raced on and is solving all sorts of other potential 'what if' situations adn forgotten the original item under discussion.
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Post by Mouse on Jan 4, 2009 12:23:22 GMT
' At a meal "Shall I go and make the coffee which translates as I have eaten my food quickly and am getting bored sitting here."
I used to think I was abnormal finding the inlaws' conversation BORING BORING BORING.. everytime there was a get together it would be the same old same old stuff and my family are all ADDers so at least our post meal conversations were stimulating and interesting!! I used to get up and go outside walk to the end of their garden and have a little scream...
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Post by Mouse on Dec 9, 2008 1:03:23 GMT
There are times when you don't feel like explaining and when you really don't feel like having to justify why you can be bothered to go into detail for some people and not others...
I've found 'pass' suffices for most enquiries regarding wellbeing when I'm feeling bad!
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Post by Mouse on Dec 9, 2008 1:00:07 GMT
I suppose the benefits of membership are that you can use the PM and also access the lounge and as for anyone being able to read and reply to posts it does keep things accessible for non-adders / other interested parties who'd like to have some idea of what's going on and how we experience ADD and what we are up against. Anyway, that's just how I see it. Mouse
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Post by Mouse on Dec 9, 2008 0:51:49 GMT
Hi Leti
Well, I had a session (sorting and throwing out) on Sunday - spent 4 hrs - still in dressing gown - being ruthless. Looks great in there except for 2 boxes which I have to let OH sort out and which are now in bottom of wardrobe.. I only meant to spend 10 mins in there and then do something else but once I was in 'the zone' I just didn't stop.
VBWs Mouse x
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Post by Mouse on Nov 16, 2008 19:04:08 GMT
Maybe you ahve discovered another ADDer...
Not good enough Agenda? Poor chairingof the meeting more like - she should take control of the meeting.
Alternatively perhaps you could add an extra item to the beginning of the next agenda
Subject: Rules of the well run meeting.
or could you take charge and make a point of going around the table and making sure that everyone gets a chance to have their say without interruption?
good luck!
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Post by Mouse on Nov 16, 2008 18:59:40 GMT
One of the positives of being diagnosed is that at least you can reclaim all the time you might otherwise have wasted wondering why the hell you couldn't do the simple stuff that everyone else just got on with and which just made you feel so ruddy frustrated.
You still feel frustrated at times/often/ maybe even all the time, but at least you have a reason for why some things seem like mountains.
this means you can redirect your efforts from pondering the inexplicable to trying to find strategies that work for you!
You wrote "I agree that I also am very hypersensitive to people's moods, criticisms and I am mostly hard on myself I put high expectations on myself and I know during the assessment I sowed doubts in my head and then I talked myself into so much crap that I did not relax and enjoy the experience. I am aware of people watching me, that is hard, trying to get on with my work , but also not giving a toss what others are thinking, doing, what they think, expect of me, again Expectations of myself!! Dreaming up thoughts, over anaysling, over thinking, over dwelling, over dramatising, self-pity, apathy, this is ME!! "
Summarises the feeling that I think may be common to a lot of us - that sense of both caring desperately about something or a situation and also NOT caring about it at the same time.
Does that make any sense? that the two can run alongside each other. Maybe it's just me. Same with pessimism and optimism - always had the two running concurrently - which makes not sense at all if you think about it..
From your posts you don't sound l ike a person without fight or a backbone. I'd say you are resilient to a degree that most non-Adders just can't comprehend. That's how I prefer to think of it anyway.
With best wishes
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Post by Mouse on Oct 19, 2008 22:27:29 GMT
Re declaring your ADHD - yes, you are supposed to. I informed the DVLA, I think they wrote to my psychiatrist, and then I got a letter confirming I'd notified them and that was it. I didn't need to have a medical.
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Post by Mouse on Oct 19, 2008 10:16:33 GMT
I got mad at myself during my second test doing silly things like flicking the windscreen wipers on rather than indicating right or left.. and when I thought I'd blown the test I demanded that that the Examiner direct me back to the test centre because it was a waste of time.
It seemed to take a while but I just drove back to the test centre wth an incredibly focussed mindset and attitude problem (being absolutely mad with myself for cocking up the test) and not mixing up wipers and indicators.
Then when I got there I parked the car and the examiner turned and congratulated me on passing the test! I was 24 when I passed. I started driving at 17 when I had 36 lessons and the instructor was still having to remind me when to change gear so I gave up. I wasn't ready to drive until 7 years later.
Most of the time I like the challenge of parking in a space and show off a bit! However I am always brought back down to earth by my OH who has noticed that in a empty car park I can't park between the lines without a lot of faffing about and swearing - but oddly it is a different story if I have to park between cars.
Then again, there are the days when I am hormonally challenged and will abandon the car in the road in frustration rather than try for the 20th time to parallel park...
I sometimes get confused when turning into roads and find I am in danger of turning too late and hitting the kerb and I also get confused at big traffic light intersections where you have many lanes of traffic. Sometimes I find I have turned too soon and am facing oncoming traffic waiting at the lights. Have got better at this sort of junction.
I think Mellawales's description of 'head in bucket' days is just right. Sometimes I am right on top of my game and other days it is all haphazard and in the lap of the Gods and I know which sort of day it is going to be the moment I get behind the wheel.
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Post by Mouse on Oct 19, 2008 9:58:53 GMT
I used to have trouble but now I am a bit better since moving home and being forced to clear out the crud rather than packing it and taking it with us.
I still have several boxes of paperwork that I know I must go through but just can't get motivated to look at.
Maybe it is the fear of finding something I shoudl have done but haven't and which will have serious repercussions years down the line.
When it comes to things I used to keep 'just in case' if I really can't bear to part with them I a a bit naughty and offer them to my mother in law who really is a hoarder supreme - because I know she will keep them! (thinking of this as outsourcing my storage problems!)
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Post by Mouse on Oct 19, 2008 9:54:08 GMT
Hello Agree 100%. Always get more done when there is some sort of external force present.
Eg if I'm lying on sofa watching TV OH will go into kitchen and start tidying and I feel guilty and compelled to get up and help him. I'm quite happy when I'm started on the task especially if we are chatting about things while we do it.
When I'm at home alone I get more done if I don't turn on the puter or the TV! If I have the radio on or some favourite music I am quite happy to be by myself.
As for going off to appointments or off shopping sometimes it is the hardest thing to get out of the house.. I dither, delay, procrastinate, faff, and get annoyed at fact of having to go out.
I think sometimes it is to do with leaving the safety of home
Other times it is because I just cannot be bothered with the hassle to interreacting with anyone, answering stupid questions, negotiating a supermarket aisle and dealing with p*ss poor labelling, stupid drivers, etc etc etc.
On the other hand, I've just started back at work and I love being in an environment where there are targets, where I get to speak to people on the phone, solve problems, give out information, etc. All short sharp matters which you deal with then get on with the next one. Nothing should get long winded and drawn out so it doesn't have time to become boring.
I work with a lot of other people but I don't really have to interreact with them if I don't feel like it. I can come into work, plug in computer bung on the headphones and just get on with taking calls.
It is very structured and rigid and I like that. In fact it is having a knock on effect at home because I am spending hardly any time at all on the computer - but it may be that my brain is too zonked to do anything remotely like thinking after being on the phone and looking at a computer screen all day. I haven't even been on here for ages.
Asha's description of a cleaning spree in case of being caught out by relatives rings v true with me. Hate visitors just dropping by and before my parents come to stay I'l have run myself exhausted doing a spring clean of everything - though there'll always be something that I forget to do!
Mouse
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Post by Mouse on Sept 8, 2008 17:39:02 GMT
Notes everywhere in our house. They get moved to the study then get lost in the paper mountain..
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Post by Mouse on Sept 3, 2008 23:10:24 GMT
Just re-read my post and can see that I really was uptight and all defensive about having to complete the forms. I always always find them stressful, but I managed okay. I'd already told them about the adhd at the interview so that wasn't my worry in respect of the council - more a case of the agency that was health checking /scoring me and concern over whether they fully understand adhd. They rang and asked me questions over the phone and the questioner did say that I seemed to know quite a bit about it, was managing the condition and so on and probably knew more about it than her.
I started work this week and I'm really enjoying it - though after a day of training I just feel like going to sleep.
Can understand your concern Asha, about whether you've given enough information.
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Post by Mouse on Aug 27, 2008 22:25:14 GMT
Leon is right to say not to believe the so-called exclusives. A lot of trash is written by the trash in the name of keeping the circulation figures up and editors ensconced on their editorial thrones.
It strikes me that raising the matter of Jade Goody even in a forum post does nothing except keep her profile raised. In a sense if you wish she'd disappear then perhaps you ought not to help keep the debate bubbling away by even posting about it!
But since you raise the matter, I'm not sure who we are to judge her for saying her family would be incomplete for the lack of a baby girl. Why does she just have to settle for being grateful that her life has been saved? Why should she not also be able to mourn the fact she won't be able to have a baby girl? If this is indeed the case and an anywhere near accurate reporting of the situation.
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Post by Mouse on Aug 24, 2008 12:15:26 GMT
I am anticipating that there will be a fair degree of abuse.. but I will see how it goes. I tend not to take it personally. Mostly it just gets frustrating because sometimes the customer is so busy being abusive you don't get a chance to explain and they don't take a second to listen!
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Post by Mouse on Aug 21, 2008 22:25:16 GMT
Thank you for your kind comments! Yes, I've found part time employment (had hoped for the full time position) and strangely enough Leon, what I'll be doing is working in a call centre as a customer service advisor. But I am used to helpline work and fielding enquiries from members of the public and there will also be some face to face reception work and probably the opp to work elsewhere as well, so I should be fine. Have discussed my qualms in another post on here..
Can't be any worse than being a medical secretary! or can it...?
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Post by Mouse on Aug 21, 2008 9:25:48 GMT
Actually I think the Army is a good choice because many ADDers do well under the regime and the responsibility. In some ways the thinking is done for you, in terms of where you have to be when and where and doing what... for the most part you are organised from above. Bit like being at infant school when they supervise and monitor you closely!
I just cannot remember the name of the person who has proposed this theory but there is someone who believes that the ADDer brain is a remnant of a hunter's brain, very good at concentrating and using all the skills needed to go out and find food.
I think our ability to hyperfocus is brilliant especiallly when it comes to aiming and firing, and being aware of what is going on around us and level of alertness to dangers etc etc!
I read a post on another forum where a man who sounds like he is ADHD (as in more of hyperactive than inattentive) had come out of the army and was 'lost' without the ordered environment in which to work.
Anyway, muddled reply but am delaying getting off the computer.. Mouse World's worst career choice for me personally, was medical secretary, working alone in a room for 92% of the time and just doing the same job over and over and over...
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Post by Mouse on Aug 21, 2008 9:18:25 GMT
I have to complete forms for my new job and because it is with a local council they seem to need to know everything right down to the gnat's knicker elastic.
Also what a faddle.. I have to provide an original birth certificate.. but cannot find mine so have to order one of these.
Also I have to complete the medical pre-assessment but on the form there's nowhere to declare my ADHD although I have put that I am taking methylphenidate in the 'are you taking any drugs?' section.
It is a slight concern that I will be rejected on the basis of this medical pre-assessment but I sincerely hope not because if that was the case I wouldn't go down without a fight!
My Dad reckons that the bureacracy will get to me and I will find the apparently petty rulings and jobsworths all get to me. I'm not so sure and to be honest I'd never considered that. I am a good girl and work within the rules though I can sniff jobsworth stupidity at 1000 yards.
It makes me wonder whether ADHDers are extra sensitive to and less accepting of rules that don't make sense. Plus there are times when I wonder whether theres a vestigial remnant of ODD hanging around from my childhood!
Oh well, confused myself so now off to have a final look in the garage before I order a new birth certificate. Wonder how difficult that will be. Easy enough for a con-merchant no doubt but beset with difficulties for the honest person.
Hells bells - I'm in a cynical and tetchy mood today... think it must be the form filling that is getting to me.
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Post by Mouse on Aug 19, 2008 17:48:10 GMT
Right, that's it - we'll gather up a posse and come look with you!!!!
That is such bad news and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest that bloody selfish b*****d's underwear.
As for the pompous twerp he probably didn't want you investigating it in case you beat the police official clear up rate and showed him up. My parents live in a remote rural area and I think the police officially drive through and check the village once a week during the early hours.
Cannot believe that we might all have considered becoming a private detective. Not sure if it was on this forum or another one that I said I quite fancied the idea of being one but not sure if sitting on my own in my car for long periods on observation would be the career best suited to me since I might have a problem keeping my mind on the job. Although I am extremely tenacious when a wrong has been done or I am trying to get to the bottom of things!
Also know about the compelling need to go off and investigate something on line that really does not need to be done that moment but which somehow must also be done immediately. Like I am sitting here typing when really I should be getting supper ready.
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Post by Mouse on Aug 19, 2008 10:04:02 GMT
Trouble is the NHS only acts like a business in some respects and as for keeping you you in the loop in terms of what is going on that often doesn't happen. Annoying and frustrating. Was it a secretary you spoke to you? I worked as a medical secretary for a while in the NHS (world's worst job for an ADDer) and it was like a production line for getting letters signed and you'd do anythng in your power to get all letters signed off before a Dr or consultant went away to avoid fielding calls from GPs asking what was going on. Sincere commiserations! Mouse
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Post by Mouse on Aug 11, 2008 9:41:32 GMT
Well, I have a result. I sent a letter off to Sky by email and by recorded delivery, cost me nearly £5 for the pleasure.. and received a letter this morning telling me that the 'outstanding balance' on the account has been cleared.
They really are very highly accomplished at avoiding responsibility for a situation! The letter is a marvel - no admission that they made a lash up of it.
Anyway, I shall not take it for red that the balance on my account has been cleared since left and right hands appear to act independently at Sky and am putting this letter in a safe place!
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Post by Mouse on Aug 10, 2008 11:25:52 GMT
PB, That's the difference between being enthralled or less than involved in the plot!
( I fell asleep in the cinema when we went to see 'The Specialist' many years ago... only one decent line in the whole film.)
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Post by Mouse on Aug 10, 2008 7:16:33 GMT
I've given up worrying about whether I understand the plot fully or not - got to the point where I just accept that I will usually have failed to pick up on the 'clues' and so just carrry on watching. Anyway, it gives me and my OH something to discuss afterwards. He fills me in on the all the bits I missed. Sometimes I'll have been so absorbed I won't have missed a thing but other times I wonder whether I was sitting watching the same film!
What I do find is that most of the time I'm looking at the background anyway. I love the old films where you see the high street at it would have been in my Mum and Dad's youth. I like looking at clothes, hair, makeup, cars, advertising just to see what things were like. I require a degree of historical accuracy and can be quite picky. What really gets up my nose are those films of the 60's and 70's where they'll be portraying the 1940's yet the hair and make-up will be all wrong.
I'm also interested in the people in thet background and what they're doing, how realistic they are if they're say sitting at another table in the background eating or talking!
Perhaps I do all this because I need to keep my mind occupied and it suits my short attention span. If I don't get the plot at least I will have had an interesting time looking at everything else - either admiring it or picking holes in it..
One of my favourite films is ' Drowning by Numbers' by Peter Greenaway. The more you watch it the more you see. Some films I can watch over and over and never tire of. Drowning by Numbers would be one and Shawshank Redemption another.
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