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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 16, 2014 14:18:44 GMT
I'm interested in this thread as I think I might be more suited to this so I could continue taking an anti depressant along side it.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 16, 2014 14:16:45 GMT
My wife had to re-apply for DLA last month (no new applicants are accepted, it's all PIP now).
We asked for help from the DWP to fill it in, and the woman who came out was surprisingly helpful and was more economical with the circumstances we told her than we would have been!
It was very surprising that she had her claim accepted -1st attempt for renewal too, that's almost unheard of.
I woulda recommend asking for help filling out the form and get a referral to a clinic for re-assessment for ADHD and the spectrum, I was very surprised when I was told I was on the ASD spectrum, so could be that for him too, based on yr brief account.
Keep us posted with it, happy to help.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 16, 2014 14:09:32 GMT
Wow, I do this too ... Procrastinate about going to bed, then I procrastinate while in bed, e.g. Listen to music, play cards on iPad, etc.
I thought it was just a "me" thing, so it's a common ADHD thing?
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 5, 2014 17:28:48 GMT
I'm doing the change 4 life diet wit hthe NHS as my gastric band surgery in 2010 hasn't worked at all for me.
If I limit myself to 2,000 calories per day every day, and do at least 2 hours of exercise a week, I loose about a kilo (2lbs) a week, consistently, with no plato (period thtcan last weeks where there's no weight loss at all) time at all.
It's basically, working out your BMI and your BMR (basal Metabolic Rate) which is the number of calories your body needs to consume per day to stay as you are. Then you can sub tract 500 calories from your allowance each day to give you a negative calorie count of 3500 per week, which is a pound in weight.
For me, the number of calories my body needs to stay as plump as I am (116kg or 18st 3lb) is 3,000, so I subtract 1000 everyday to give me a total 7,000 calories deduction every week, which is my weight loss.
No fasting, no changing of any routines, just plain and simple rules such as keep a count of your calories, no eating after 8pm (as your body is now or nearning in shutdown mode and anything eaten then will just get stored and won't be used as energy) and drink at least 3 glasses of water/flavoured water everyday.
It works because it's based on the simple rules of physics that if you eat too much, you'll get bigger, if you eat less and exercise, you'll loose weight.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 4, 2014 18:47:33 GMT
OMG!!! I just did a quick search and found LOADS of articles on blogs, etc on how ADHD is just something made up by big-pharma or the association of psychiatrists, etc. All from people who are members of a group that seeks to reveal the truth, ironically. (too many jokes here, but it would give them away!)
I want to post a link, but just can't - it's really bad to read it though, especially as it's completely biased writing too.
I'm now wondering what the world would be like if the 3rd reich had of had the internet... hmm.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jun 4, 2014 16:55:37 GMT
I was just about to post asking who these people are!
If a PM or an email can be sent to me, I would be very interested in knowning who this group is - so I can give them a wide berth!
Good points about the google scholar searches, but the aticle was about motability cars for people with ADHD, very clever wording when you think about it as they're not named as ADHD experts!
As a newbie to ADHD, I'm pretty fecked off that any group of people can tell me there's nothing wrong with me, doesn't stop me from wishing they were right though.
I just had to get an energy boost to get some work done and I had 4 expresso's in 20 minutes and it gave me an hour, before I started to feel tired again!
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on May 30, 2014 15:25:07 GMT
I can only assume that due to my anger I must have very high testosterone levels - I would prefer not to though.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on May 29, 2014 21:35:39 GMT
I grew up with older parents than my friends at school, so the attitudes I have had are somewhat out of date in general, including my impressions of mental health, which is basically the ol' "it's all in your head, man! if you go around telling people you've got mental health issues they'll think your crazy and no one will want to know you!" that's the sort of mentality in my house growing up, along with "A beer sessions solves everything
As a newly diagnosed ADHDer myself, this is all knew - the idea of ADHD being labelled as naughty kids syndrome and that ADHD isn't a real illness - technically it's not, it's a disorder and I think it's technically a recognised disability in the UK.
I'm still a little confused when I read a lot that ADHD is also co-morbid or something like that as I've no idea what that means.
The other article linked is teaching anyone how to fake an ADHD diagnosis, which I find quite annoying because it means that other people will think that we are all fakers and seeking handouts.
I wish to christ I could give them ADHD for a week or 52 - just so they could know for themselves.
The article about the motability cars though is trying to paint the picture that these parents with naughty kids syndrome are getting a free car from the government for a child with an over-active disorder and if I didn;t know wht I know now, I'd be distgusted with it.
But, the thing is, that the £200 a month lease car isn't subsidised at all. The motability car scheme was a huge corporate fleet hire department that just grew and grew into a slef contained organisation that now buys the cars at the same rates as any other dealer would (usually 40 - 60% less than the advertised forecourt prices) and the car is rented over a set 3 years and then the car is taken back and sold.
So, basically a brand new car that would sell for £15k to mr and mrs joe public would be leased for £200 per month, including insurance, breakdown cover and tyres. £7,200 over 3 years, which basically pays for the car that then has a street value of around £5- to £7k. if you subtract half for losses and keeping the lights on, that's a profit of on average £3,000 per vehicle, or a grand a year.
With around 250,000 cars leased each year, that's alot of money that the government has comming in from the disabled and their families.
The article on ADHD and cars also doesn't clearly explain that many ADHD kids also have other issues that would look like they had issues to the average bystander.
Maybe that's the problem with ADHD - we don't look weird enough with it. lol
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on May 29, 2014 0:39:26 GMT
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Post by Wavey75 on May 4, 2014 17:59:11 GMT
I saw this program on Benefit capping in Brent and was dissappointed that a fair representation of the type of claimants on social security was not depicted by the BBC. I should point out that all of the people featured were all declared fit for work and were all told they would get their benefits back if they went to work. I am physically disabled and have ADHD and live on social security. I am from South London and well aware of the benefits culture and the working culture. In my opinion: - The bedroom tax - is a good idea, but it was not well thought out. Family homes or homes that have been resided in for more than a certain number of years, should have been exempt. This would have stopped the uproar and targetted the people it was supposed to be aimed at, the fraudsters who sublet and claim (Disabled should be exempt). - The rumours about capping child benefit for parents already on benefits - I also agree with this. This targets the people who are just breeding for the money (Disabled should be exempt). - Capping housing benefit - from what I saw on the Panorama programme, it's not enough. However, I know the programme was not a fair representation ofa majority. A more effective method should be to introduce rent control, making it illegal for landloards to charge extortionate amounts, thus having the effect of reducing the number of buy-to-let mortgages many of us have or had, and make quite a substantial income from. Social Security Expediture from 2011 to 2012: I went through the DWP's annual report after the whole Benefit's explotion in the media and I found some staggering evidence, £126 Billion pounds went on: As you can see, 51.5% went to Pensionsers (but no mention of the tax they paid back to government though). 15.8% went to the sick & disabled (including the elderly). 13.8% was paid out on Housing Benefits and rent rebates by local councils in the UK. 12.5% was paid out to people classed as unemployed. The remaining 6.4% went to 'other', which I was not able to find out specifically what. However, the main point I got from this is that 51.5% is not benefits - it also not welfare, it's a pension hard working people have paid into for years and have earned - they shouldn't even be paying tax on it (unless it's in a high tax bracket). Since we can't force the sick, elderly and disabled to work and we can't force the unemployed to work (even though they want to work, most of them) the only solution is to save £17.38 Billion pounds every year by solving the rent's landlords charge. This solution would also mean that the 12.5% of people unemployed would have more options and earning a minimum wage would be the same as earning a living wage. Unfortunately, the people with all the money also control the majority of the housing for rent and as long as they're donating their collective millions, this will never change in this country IMHO. Wavey75 Attachments:
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Post by Wavey75 on Apr 16, 2014 10:25:44 GMT
When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I was also informed that I have some strong ASD symptoms and an issue with anger.
I didn’t take much notice of this because the whole diagnosis was a shock.
But because of everything going on in my life I am wondering if having an issue with anger is serious or not and what can I do about it?
I mean to ask that as I have ADHD, which has anger issues included with it already, so to be told on top of that there’s an anger problem too, makes it more serious perhaps?
Does following the general help and support for anger management work for anyone else?
All I have to do is let go of my anger towards this current situation concerning my daughter’s poor choice of potential baby daddy’s (the rapist ex boyfriend) and I will no longer be the main contributor to the horrible atmosphere here. Making living here a lot more pleasant and giving her the chance to realise the mistake she's making.
Everyone else in the house has managed it, including my wife with Fibromyalgia, so why can’t I?
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Apr 14, 2014 11:51:56 GMT
Thank you for sharing your interest. when things get up and running they will be listed here.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Apr 13, 2014 11:00:37 GMT
Hi Meepmeep,
In reply to your red font comments:
We all suspect this boy has underlying mental health issues - I’ve just found out he cannot have children. His parents threw him out and none of his family want to know him.
Psychopaths are ALWAYS genuinely sorry, but they will not stop.
But, the key context here is, he’s not my daughters or our problem.
NO, just because I’m male does not mean I’m in charge! my wife and I are a team, we decide what rules to enforce in our home. If one of us wants to change something, we sit down and discuss it, both putting pros and cons forward and we both reach a decision, it’s worked well in the past and it has shown the kids that e both jointly decide what goes on under our roof.
Although youngest deceived me, enforcing punishment for it is not the way to go, according to her therapist. The way to go is to let her know that I/we are disappointed in her. Her own guilt from that will be punishment enough.
I meant that we’s laugh about it during the actual event of the loud music, not the disastrous outcome we ended up with.
I have no idea what you mean when you suggest to let ADHD take a back seat… ?
No stress here, no heat - it was very calm between us - I’m still quite surprised over this to be honest.
She knows how hard her path now is, but it’s just adding fuel to the idea of raising this child with the wanker ex boyfriend.
Social housing in Devon was pretty good, however, Our particular council will see that we live in a 3 bedroom and she has her own room and they will decide that she does not qualify for her own accommodation until the baby/child need their own room, which is from the age of 5 or 6 years old. To illustrate how their minds work in Devon, our 3 bed semi is capable of housing 12 adults, by their own standards. They will also take into account that if they were to house her, it would mean we would have a spare room that would need to be filled (the bedroom tax) so, she could potentially not even get offered any accommodation. The only situations where they would reconsider is if there’s a danger for serious reasons and that would stir up too much stress and trouble.
I’m lost by your comment - “for feeling reluctant in wanting someone to impose with an addition to the family…” what does this mean?
Young girls and boys do stupid things I agree! but how many of us would think that going back into a relationship you already ended because of violence and verbal & sexual abuse was a good idea?
18’s still a child - yep I agree totally. I wasn’t mature enough until my late 20’s and I’m still maturing!
Because our pregnant daughter will need her mother ruing the pregnancy and afterwards, it makes sense for me to move out because she wants to stay with her mother during and just after the pregnancy.
Yep, we played the long game and it resolved itself quicker than we’d guessed. But, it seems that she doesn’t learn from her mistakes and so will continue to repeat them and makes bad decisions no matter how many times we pick her up from them! I can’t go through that the rest of my life.
For the last 2 comments:
None of this is a plan. This is us getting our heads around the actual obstacles and problems that are ahead of us and to anticipate just what we should do, etc.
No one’s acting in haste. The scenarios are the possible outcomes of this messy situation and for me it’s to have an idea of what I can deal with for each one. Also, should anyone have come up with an alternative that could happen, it would have been here for me to see so no possible scenario is a surprise or a shock in the future.
At the moment, we’re taking it a day at a time. I haven’t sat down and spoke to my pregnant daughter since this all exploded. I honestly don’t have anything to say to her. I made my opinion known to her before this all happened and I told her it would be best for her to terminate the pregnancy, even though I have been looking forward to experiencing babies in the future. We now suspect, that if there was no baby, getting involved with this boy again would not be an option.
My wife and I are continuing as a couple for now and we’l wait and see.
Thank you all for your comments, they have helped me get through this mess.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Apr 11, 2014 18:57:56 GMT
Go it sorted out.
meepmeep,
I haven't taken your comment badly, in fact it made me smile! it's exactly what I'd want to say, but wouldn't in case of sounding like an uncaring prick lol.
I don't get why it's a big font to you, I'm using 12?
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Apr 8, 2014 12:08:53 GMT
Dear AADDUK Community,
I’m having a problem getting my head round things and thought that to post it here would hopefully get it out of my own head, stopping me from getting my studying and other general tasks done.
It’s very personal, perhaps too personal but that’s never stopped me posting here before! lol
Brief history
OK, so my wife and I have been living together for 12 years, after 18 months plus of dating, totalling almost 14 years.
She’s 23 months older than me and when we met she was divorced with 3 kids aged 9, 6 and 2.
Her husband left wit ha very young girls to marry and have another family, and the girls have continued a relationship with him by way of every other weekend (when they were younger) and once a week dinner from 3pm to 6pm.
The weekends stopped several years ago as they don’t get along with their step mother (she’s a bitch towards them basically) and they didn’t want to go, plus they grew up and had their own lives, etc.
Events of note
It’s been eventful to say the least - there’s been lots of rows, arguments and mistakes (mostly caused by me) but we’ve always managed to forgive each other and to put it in the past. There have been some regrettable actions on my part involving in-direct violence towards the kids, not not directly. For example forcing a bedroom door open thinking a chair was jammed behind it when in fact it was one of the kids (no window in the door) or snatching a duvet in anger and not realising I struck a blow to one of the kids (incredibly drunk and just not realising it) this is what I mean by indirectly, in other words it has been accidentally.
Defining an accident and a malicious act
Direct violence is something done that cannot be confused with indirect violence. For example, if a man verbally abuses a partner, wife or spouse and physically strikes them head on, face to face, this is direct violence. If this same man then genuinely appears remorseful, he could be a psychopath or suffer from psychosis.
If a man or a woman are arguing and one of them falls or trips and they make contact with the other, this is an accident, but also indirect violence.
I’ve gone to a lot of trouble to make these distinctions for good reason.
I am ashamed of all the things I’ve done in my past, some of which I am too ashamed of to reveal here , but these mounts I have listed (out of context I might add) are in my top 3 (of 5 when it comes to violence and physical disagreements)
I have had other altercations in my life, but I have always had a gift for solving problem with my words. I have also inflicted more pain using my words in the past than I’ve ever done physically too.
Current situation
My wife and I have split up 3 times and got back together twice in the last week or so over such trivial things, it’s led to uncertainty about our future.
Incident 1 - Youngest was blasting her music out upstairs that I couldn’t construct a single useful thought in my own head. Rather than moan and groan I decided to try and give her a taste of her own medicine by using the sound system in the lounge to blast out music (far too loud for my tastes btw). The rule has been you can have it as loud as you like in your room, as long as the door’s shut. Silly really, but she only has these small dock speakers, but boy do they go up loud! So, when I spouted this rule back to my wife when she came down, it was taken the wrong way, and all 3 of them were angry with me. The music was so loud I hadn’t heard my wife storm out of the house and drive off in the car. Shortly after this, my 2 daughters left the house by eldest lying to me that she was going out and her younger sister who wasn’t allowed out until she’d cleaned her room snuck out with her. I had no reason not to trust her older sister then, which is why their plan worked and they both left the house. This led to me contacting my wife and bringing her home to discuss the absurd situation we were now in and for me to explain to her that it was intended to be something we’d laugh about that went staggeringly wrong! We eventually began to realise that between my ADHD/ASD and her Fibromyalgia we had just not read each other correctly. It’s at this point under the emotional strain of the kids refusing to come home from their grandparents house until I left the house, which they now deny saying, that led both of us to wonder if we will ever communicate properly.
Incident 2 - Two days later another bombshell came along. This time eldest daughter declares she is pregnant, aged 18 with no job, no money and it later transpires that the father, the ex-boyfriend when told he says he wants nothing to do with it and tries to persuade her to end it and not to have it. She believe any action taken to subset nature is murder in this respect and has decided to have it and raise it herself. She also wants to stay living at home with us until the baby is 3 to 6 months old and then she will move out into her own home, but with no income or other means, this will likely be a council/welfare accommodation which if she applied now she might get in time for the babies 3rd birthday. This news ignites a conversation between my wife and I where I am scared that my ADHD, specifically my intolerance to change, the in ability to cope with the unknown and our home which I consider to be cluttered already, which now I fear will be bursting at the seems (in my own head this is). I tell my wife I won’t be able to predict my behaviour and that I don’t want to be the cause of more arguments and rows over the cleanness and state of our home and I would rather move out, to which she agrees with me, though hesitantly. It later on occurs to me that my last experience of babies was 30 years ago and the volume of crap one needs now could very well be distorted. We go on the hunt around mother care looking at what will be needed and as I find out over the day and the next day I can adjust to it, by making sacrifices such as storing furniture and things in my eldest daughters garage locally.
Incident 3 - Three days after this, my wife comes to speak to me in the afternoon and informs me that my expectant daughter is planning on moving back in with a previous ex-boyfriend (the one who verbally, physically and sexually abused her - see this thread) who no one in the family or her own circle of friends would agree it’s a good idea. For me, this was the straw that broke the camel’s back - my anger right at this is beyond boiling point, coming close to magna temperatures and it’s pressures. I have not spoken to my pregnant daughter since my wife told me this. My wife and I both kept calm, no shouting or raised voices, just ears and emotions brimming over on our faces because we both know I will never accept an alleged rapist/ sexual assaulter and I would eventually drive a wedge between my wife and our daughter, which would ultimately lead to my wife no longer having any form of relationship with her mother. Now, we both know that this Wanker of an ex boyfriend has been in contact with her since she moved out of his flat in Northampton where he put her through so much verbal and physical abuse she swore he was dead to her (24th January 2014). Today’s story has now changed and she is defending him and changing her story that she did consent to sex, but he stopped when she started to cry. My point is, it should only take ‘NO” once, it shouldn’t have ever got to that, but she’ll never see that because this boy has some kind of hold over her, he is able to manipulate her and talk her into doing things she wouldn’t normally do and to talk her out of decisions she has already made, such as ending it with him. I am now looking for somewhere to live by myself and I have said that I will not be back once I am all moved out and got what’s mine. My daughter has realised that her mother’s long term relationship with me is now ending because of her decision and she has now said she has dumped this big for good. Both my wife and I know that it’s only a matter of time before she changes her mind again and I’d be flat hunting again, so basically it’s never not going to happen and the only way we got this boy out of our daughter’s life before was to just let her go and move in with him and he showed his true colours between 28/10/13 to 23/01/14 or roughly 12 weeks.
The future unknown
It’s been a few days since the most recent incident took place. Some facts that I haven’t had the opportunity to point out so far are:
- My wife and I both still love each other very much and we do not want to split up at all.
- This is the first time I have suffered the negative outcomes surrounding ADHD, which is what my wife blames for al this, not me - She knows I can’t help the way I feel, think and act generally.
- My youngest daughter didn’t know any father at all for the first year of her life. she saw her father briefly from then on, but shortly after she turned 2, I met my wife and she explained to me that youngest had bonded with me, not her father, to which I was flattered and proud.
My pregnant daughter, now 18 has always been resentful that her mum and dad divorced, always blaming her for kicking him out and getting involved with me, though she has stated she doesn’t have a problem with me. Personally, I think she does but isn’t aware of it. - Both my wife and I have discussed the time when we would be grandparents and have been looking forward to it, just not now and not like this.
- The reason why my wife suggests I move out is before I’m the cause of the end to any relationship with our daughter occurs, as she would blame me, which she admits is irrational and she accepts that if our daughter goes ahead with this ex boyfriend thing and I’m gone, the same wedge will still be built, just by this boy’s own hand instead.
Reflections
I have asked my wife why do we have to split up just because our daughter is making the biggest mistake of her life? I have suggested to my wife that if I can cope with the deal of him, so that my daughter can re-learn again that he is no good for her, then why can’t she deal with this irrational blame she will feel when our daughter’s been brain washed again by this boy. I have explained to her that while I loathe the idea of our daughter raising any child with this boy, the idea that we will not grow old together, not live out a happy live together and will no longer share anything together is worse and I am willing to try anything.
We are both tired of the emotional turmoil we have been through over the years and these past several days and things are strained here, to say the least.
Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post and for your advice and support.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 22, 2014 11:58:15 GMT
Hi donkey,
He group organisers I feel are rigid in that they insist the pre determined materials are covered, in a set time and there's no room left for much discussion.
A lot of the tips and things they are covering to help us in our daily lives I'm already doing and I was taught mindfulness 7 or 8 years a go and now I take concerta I am able to progress it's effectiveness in my life.
It's unfortunate that the course in its current form does not allow for debate, discussion and other helpful practises.
I hope they manage to improve dramatically on the next presentation of it in the future.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 21, 2014 14:08:31 GMT
Hi ozadd, I not sure how much of this I should answer, so I'll answer it all. Yes, I'm diagnosed. I was referred in July 2013 and informed of the estimated wait times as you were, but I pursued them and hounded them via email to get a narrower ETA of an appointment. It took 6 or 7 appointments for my diagnosis and I was then seen by a Psychiatrist who prescribed me Concerta XL. I wasn't expecting to be ADHD, I was only really looking for a weight loss solution, so when they told me I was shocked to say the least. I have been attending an adult ADHD course spread over six 2 1/2 hour sessions across 7 weeks and some of the group members are finding it useful. I personally find it useful to meet and talk to other ADD/ADHD adults, which I did for the first time ever at the Bristol support group - I found it invaluable. If you are in the area for Exeter, you might find it useful to attend a support group in your area and I happen to know of one - just read this link.Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 19, 2014 16:24:52 GMT
For any of you wishing to participate in a voluntary support group once a month in Torbay & South Devon please reply to this thread to register your interest.
This is not a medical support group - no one running this group is trained in this area - this meeting is for other adults as well as yourself and partners to support you and anyone else that you would like to support you as well.
Please no PM's - post here only.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 9, 2014 9:05:24 GMT
Hi ADDJ,
The frustrating part for me is on week 1, I was looking forward to the 'What is ADHD?' and we didn't really cover it in any depth, it's all very skimming the surface so far. Week 2 was not any more useful - absent members for 1st half or 2nd half do more harm to this type of group than any other I think.
So, there are 3/4 of us and 3 staff - all wanting to have their turn to speak to us, rather than with us.
Punctual is also not in the clinician's vocabulary, we yet to start on time.
I think I'm going to give it one more week, and if I still feel the way I do now, I'm going to jack it in as a waste of time.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 9, 2014 0:08:11 GMT
Overview of the course
Session 1 – Understanding ADHD And Goal setting
1.Welcome and introductions 2.Getting to know each other 3.Group Rules 4.Aims for the course and for today 5.Experiences of diagnosis 6.Bio-Psycho-social model of coping 7.What is ADHD?
Session 2 – Attention and Concentration
1.Getting to know each other, again! 2.Review of the week/ recap of last week 3.Finish off any goals from last week 4.What is attention and concentration?. 5.What do you struggle with? 6.Helpful strategies a.Listening skills b.Modifying the environment c.Things that you can do – Rewards d.Mindfulness 7.How we view ADHD 8.Feedback and questions
Session 3 – Time Management and Organisation
1.Saying hello and practicing mindfulness 2.Review of the week/ recap of last weeks session 3.What is Organisation and Time Management? 4.What difficulties do you have with these? 5.What strategies do you use that help? 6.Strengths of ADHD 7.Feedback and Questions
Session 4 - Forgetting and problem solving
1.Saying hello 2.Review of the week/ recap of last weeks session 3.Progress towards goals 4.What is Problem Solving and What is forgetting? 5.What do you struggle with? 6.What do you find Helpful ? 7.What other ideas could you use? a.For forgetting b.For solving problems 8.Practicing problem solving 9.Noticing Achievements 10.Feedback and Questions
Session 5 – Procrastination
1.Saying hello 2.Review of the week and recap of last week 3.Aims of the day 4.What is procrastination? 5.What do you struggle with? 6.What can you do to help? a.Red- flags for procrastination b.Tackling negative thoughts c.Tackling avoidance 7.Famous people with ADHD 8.Questions and Feedback
Session 6 - Final session
1.Saying hello 2.Review of the week and recap of last week 3.Aims of the day 4.Finish anything needed 5.Review goals 6.Review Course 7.Book a time for post-course conversation 8.Complete questionnaires 9.Helpful books, organisations and websites 10.Questions and feedback 11.Goodbyes– what will you take away
So that's the whole deal. So far it's been slow with not much help for me personally, but I'm quite comfortable with mindfulness and have been for years, it's been easier for me on the concerta too.
My review of the sessions so far has been that despite having a 2.5 hours session every week, there's just not enough time to get round it all, and for everyone.
I think they're aiming too high with this structure and the very nature of ADD/ADHD prohibits this much progress in such concentration.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Mar 3, 2014 22:13:10 GMT
Hi Johinty,
I get the impression so far that we're the 1st bunch to be offered this group and as it's brand new to the clinic, there will be others who will be offered this limited space, once only clinical support group.
So, once I've completed the 6 sessions, that's it.
I'll correct this if it's not true, but as this is the NHS, most services offered as a 'course' are a one time only thing.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Feb 28, 2014 16:18:48 GMT
For those of you in Devon or whatever the catchment area is for a clinic in Exeter, I attended a new 6 part once a week 2.5 hour support group, run by the NHS ADHD Clinic, which has just started.
Their were 5 patients and 3 support staff from 10am to 12:30pm, with unlimited hot drinks and ginger biscuits throughout! lol
We had to pair off and spend a few minutes talking to the other about 2 things the other loves to do or enjoys, etc and to introduce them to the group.
With the structure of the course being covered at the beginning and what we can expect each week, the conversation flowed and it seemed to be quite quick.
From memory, we covered:
What is ADHD? How does this affect our lives? What goals can we set to achieve by the end of the course?
There will be more updates to come.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Feb 25, 2014 21:09:30 GMT
Thank you all so much guys, bloody great advise form you all.
ADDJ - thank you Shu - very true Planet - I'm guessing I;m a few years behind you so far as the years getting busier funeral-wise - dreading it to be honest oooshiny - I just love your name!!! so apt, I smile when I see your name contrary - you're completely right, but after years of completely screwing up it's no wonder I no longer trust myself and there's been too many lost years in my family. I hadn't seen him for a while because he smoked and stank, but when I smoked and drank we spent hours and hours - my dad, uncle jim and me all playing pool for hours drinking and putting the world to rights - he gave me loads of advice - not all good but the effort was there.
Anyway, don't want to turn this into one of those soppy sods even I cringe at when I take a peek at a thread, so many just lock this one to new responses so it gets buried on top of new posts please.
I'm sending you all a mental hug - and that's huge for me - don;t do touchy-feely stuff normally! ;-)
RIP Uncle Dim - 25/02/2014
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Feb 25, 2014 16:52:05 GMT
Hi ADDJourneyman,
That's not a pleasant experience IMHO, but a sad one.
In that situation, I would not let anyone dictate to me where I can and cannot go, I would do what I needed to, if it meant attend the funeral of someone I cared about and ho cared about me, I know they would want me there - no one else has a say at who attends a funeral, because unlike weddings, birthdays and other events - the centre of attention's life has ended and a funeral marks the end of that person's life, including the life's they touched.
In my situation I am welcome - but I want to avoid the possible scenario that I am no longer welcome in the future.
Thanks for sharing,
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Feb 25, 2014 15:38:59 GMT
ADHD & Funerals & Families, etc.
So I just learned this morning that my uncle dies at 04:0 this morning in a hospital respiratory ward where he was undergoing treatment for chest and waterworks infections and they had discovered a malignant tumour (cancer) in his lung.
I should point out at this point that this is big for me as I was very code to my uncle and his 3 kids my 2 female cousins and 1 male cousin, who I fell out with many years ago and we’ve never spoken properly since - something I would like to rectify now that I can say I was not NT - I was suffering with ADHD and not receiving the right treatment - in the slim hopes that we could be pen pals again, or just chat occasionally, etc.
I am still close to my female cousins - they are more like my siblings to be honest, as my own older sibling is a total fusing psycho-but bag and I disowned year about 14 years ago - never looked back about that either.
I travelled up and down the M5 to see him this weekend and returning home on Sunday evening.
I have lot so f questions that I think are inappropriate and I am now worried that I will inadvertently upset people with my unfortunate ‘foot-in-mouth’ syndrome and even alienate close family as I’m from a big irish catholic family and everyone will be going to the funeral, which will be in a few days time, I guess.
At the grand old age of 38, I’ve successfully managed to duck and avoid any funerals so far (kid’s goldfish don’t count do they?) and I’m concerned abbot going, if it wasn’t for the 54MG of concerta XL I probably wouldn’t have even thought of this - so there’s something positive to note for me personally - yay me.
I wouldn’t normally burden anyone else with this, as my wife has Fibromyalgia and we have often clashed (not that we will on this, she’s being very supportive and has told me we’re going up for the funeral - to not go I’d only regret it.) but I’ve witnessed a real sense of community on this particular forum - there are people on here that genuinely care and there seems to be no flaming or the usual bad apple in the barrel, etc. - In other words - this forum works remarkably well, considering it’s national and online.
So I guess I'm really asking for advice or what I should do, things I shouldn't say or something - I've never really had anyone I was this close to die as an adult before, and I probably need to get a grip on it now as my parent's are no spring chickens and their siblings are older than they are - I joke to handle or deal with it, but I'm struggling.
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Post by Wavey75 on Jan 13, 2014 18:36:12 GMT
Thanks JJ,
I also have some pdf books on adhd too, but they state they are copyrighted and do not say anything about sharing them, so can't post them on here.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jan 12, 2014 10:23:37 GMT
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Post by Wavey75 on Jan 12, 2014 10:14:31 GMT
I found these ebooks while searching and they are aimed at ADD/ADHD people who are looking to better themselves.
they are copyright protected, but sharing is encouraged at the end of both books, so as long as I credit the author . IP owner, we're golden as they say.
Written by Bryan Hutchinson who's blog is here.
10_things_I_hate_about_adhd_e-book.pdf (770.37 KB) 10_most_positive_things_about_ADHD_Ebook_PDF - it's 1.1MB - too big to insert. Will try to reply to this to add it next.
I hope they help, they have helped me.
Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jan 10, 2014 23:56:09 GMT
That was interesting for me - 1st time at an ADHD support group - lost my virginity! Wavey75
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Post by Wavey75 on Jan 9, 2014 15:01:33 GMT
I've just found out that the meeting for Friday has had to be cancelled due to all the poor weather - the building to be used (Bristol Mind) has had a ceiling collapse and asbestos found!!!
So, if you were planning to attending, I'm told arrangements are being made to meet at the Old Market Tavern, close to the Bristol mind building.
Just quite what the meeting will encompass is not clear, but it will probably be the best one as the whole meeting's in the pub!
Please tell as many as you can who usually meet.
Wavey75
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