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Post by jan on Sept 1, 2013 17:21:50 GMT
SHOULD BE SAFE NOW
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 1, 2013 19:04:11 GMT
phew - found it! just posting so i don't lose it again.
too tired to read book now. will try it tomorrow.
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Post by jan on Sept 1, 2013 19:23:00 GMT
sorry I am laughing so much I am wetting myself very un mindfully don't worry I am going to move it back - no one should ever put me in charge of anything you know sorry people who havn't got the book - you'll av to fuckin buy it or just fuck off (meant in the nicest possible unmindfull adhd way ) all getting too fuckin complicated for me what with copy right laws and e mails that wont copy etc etc - have had enough (and i'm not medicated you know - no one should listen to a word I say have told you all before - my mum always said I wasn't safe to be let out on my own ) Lesley - where are you - time to up your posts cos i'm resigning and I havn't even read the fuckin thing yet and I just can't stop laughing - I don't seem to be taking this seriously any more - still crying and wetting myself - hours later - sorry - its petras fault you know
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2013 16:10:23 GMT
I've been doing this today. Been waking around the house trying to switch off auto pilot, which is tricky when you really think about. I autopilot up and down the stairs. It's like once I have decided to go down the stairs, I turn off the brain. Often results in me getting to the bottom of the stairs, waking into whichever room I was en route to and realising I have left something upstairs. So today, I took each step slowly, admired the banister on the way up and down and generally forced myself to slow the fuck down. It's early days but at one point I got two steps down the stairs and realised what I'd left behind
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Post by Kathymel on Sept 2, 2013 17:59:36 GMT
So today, I took each step slowly, admired the banister on the way up and down and generally forced myself to slow the fuck down. It's early days but at one point I got two steps down the stairs and realised what I'd left behind If I did that, I'd just end up feeling bad for how disgustingly filthy the stairs are. Best to keep running up them as fast and distractedly as possible, I think.
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Post by jan on Sept 2, 2013 21:02:32 GMT
Michael - how do you know about auto pilot ? are you secretly psychic? cos its in the next 12 pages of the book that I havn't copied onto here - (though I did try my utmost - ) or are you not letting on that you've actually got the book have to admit havn't got around to doing anything mindfully yet today or reading the book but have managed to stop wetting myself - - and days not over yet
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Post by Lesley on Sept 3, 2013 6:59:45 GMT
Hi everyone
Got back late last night from my weekend (and a bit) away. Will post properly later today (presumably we'll be back by then on the original, public thread). But in the meantime -
Jan, you are amazing! So much energy! Such commitment! And your posts have had me laughing out loud! I reckon you have a great career ahead of you as a comic novelist - once you've mastered the mindfulness, of course.
See you later. Lesley x
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Post by jan on Sept 3, 2013 7:25:57 GMT
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Post by jan on Sept 3, 2013 15:31:32 GMT
well still havn't managed to read the book yet but am going to support group tonight so am going to take it with me on the tube and try get into it - but have realised that I have been actually doing some mindfulness for a few months now forgot - but when my knees started getting painful few months ago a friend who is a yoga teacher told me its cos I was squatting too quickly as in dropping straight down really quickly (which I started doing cos my back went a few times and so it was to take the pressure off my back by squatting instead of bending - I know - she's falling apart I hear you thinking I am - well i was ) anyway so have started squatting slowly and thinking about it as I do it and thinking about my posture as I go down - in other words doing it mindfully - hey presto - mindfulness - so am feeling more confident about being able to do this now
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Post by Lesley on Sept 3, 2013 15:34:33 GMT
If you are sure, Jan, I'm happy to have a go.
Still not quite up to speed - tired after yesterday - have been drifting around like a zombie all day (trying to sound like this is something unusual, but actually it's what I do half the time), but will read back through what you've posted already shortly, and look at the book again, and get back to you all.
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Post by Lesley on Sept 3, 2013 15:36:34 GMT
Oops, you posted while i was typing. So - my reply was to your last post but one (unless you've posted again since).
Oh, and great about the realisation that you've been doing some mindfulness - sounds spot on.
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Post by Lesley on Sept 4, 2013 7:53:39 GMT
OK, I'm as ready as I'll ever be - except that I'm now hesitating over whether to continue the thread here in case I (or anyone else) ever want to quote extensive portions of the book, and in case people feel more comfortable sharing their experiences here than in the public part; or to go back to the public thread as Jan said she would. I could spend another 2 or 3 days agonising about that.
I'm going to leave the decision up to you lot - which means I'm going to continue here for now, but if enough of you say you'd rather have it on the original thread, where you don't have to log in, then I'll switch it. That way I avoid switching it back there then having to switch it again to back here if people prefer it here.
My next post will follow within the hour - just depends how long it takes me to type it.
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Post by jan on Sept 4, 2013 8:02:56 GMT
great stuff x I read whole of the first section last night havn't done an exercise yet - but was out and about till late but am getting there and understand it all and am finding it interesting looking forward to becoming a mindfulness guru PS. I never log out - I ljve here
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Post by jan on Sept 4, 2013 8:21:48 GMT
just noticed - the author (ess) of the book is doing a live wbinar today at 1.00 - 2.00 east coast time - American )
questins can be posted in advance
recorded version will be available on the web site after (attitude magazine - can't find link)
can subscribe to free adhd experts podcast in itunes
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Post by Lesley on Sept 4, 2013 8:47:43 GMT
Right. The task for this week, or what's left of it (between now and Saturday), is to read the introductory parts of the book and Part 1 (or some of Part 1 - I'll get to that in a moment) and to do the exercises contained therein. If you are short of time or struggling to concentrate, I would suggest making a point of trying the exercises rather than the reading, though it would be useful to read all of Chapter 1, and probably Chapter 3 (I'll confirm that after I've re-read it myself). The introductory parts (Foreword, Prologue and Dear Reader) were helpfully posted by janev here, where you can read them if you are still waiting for your copy of the book - aadduk.proboards.com/thread/6847/mindfulness-adhd-excercises-experience-support There is one exercise in this section, at the beginning of the section called 'Try It for Yourself' (on page 23 - but I have it as an ebook - I hope the page numbers are the same as in the print copy, but could someone with the print copy confirm this, please). Chapter 1. A Different Way of Paying Attention. This chapter is an introduction to what mindfulness is. There is an exercise on pages 37 - 38 (I think - see above - the page numbers seem to jump around a little in the ebook) on exploring the two key aspects of mindfulness (attention to the present moment and an attitude of openness and curiosity); and a very brief exercise in the last paragraph of the chapter. Chapter 2. Mindfulness and Self-Regulation in ADHD. The good news is that, having re-read it, I think you could skip this chapter if you want to (my apologies to anyone who's already struggled through it). The first sections (up to the end - on page 49 - of the section headed Self-Regulation and Executive Functions) are about ADHD rather than about mindfulness, and you may feel it covers ground you already know about. The rest of the chapter (from the heading Treating Self-Regulation Difficulties in ADHD on page 49) starts with a brief overview of non-medication ways of treating ADHD, then looks at different aspects of ADHD (e.g. attention control, memory, emotional regulation) and how mindfulness can help with them. You might want to read just these sections - either in full or you could miss out the bits in boxes called 'What The Research Shows'. There are no exercise in this chapter.I haven't yet re-read chapter 3, but as it's called Getting Ready for the Eight-Step Program I imagine it would be best to read it. I'll confirm that when I have re-read it. I'll also then have no further excuse for not actually doing the exercises and reporting back on that. Meanwhile, if you're ahead of me, please let's hear about your experience of doing the exercises.
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Post by Lesley on Sept 4, 2013 8:56:58 GMT
just noticed - the author (ess) of the book is doing a live wbinar today at 1.00 - 2.00 east coast time - American ) questins can be posted in advance recorded version will be available on the web site after (attitude magazine - can't find link) can subscribe to free adhd experts podcast in itunes Here's the link - www.additudemag.com/webinars or to go direct to this one www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/29/10294.htmlI think that's 6 - 7 pm here. I don't think I'll be able to listen then, but will certainly try to listen to the recording. Thanks, Jan.
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Post by jan on Sept 4, 2013 9:24:26 GMT
There is one exercise in this section, at the beginning of the section called 'Try It for Yourself' (on page 23 - but I have it as an ebook - I hope the page numbers are the same as in the print copy, but could someone with the print copy confirm this, please). Chapter 1. A Different Way of Paying Attention. This chapter is an introduction to what mindfulness is. There is an exercise on pages 37 - 38 (I think - see above - the page numbers seem to jump around a little in the ebook) on exploring the two key aspects of mindfulness (attention to the present moment and an attitude of openness and curiosity); and a very brief exercise in the last paragraph of the chapter. page 23 = 3 in printed version page 37 38 = 17 - 18 printed version
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Post by Deleted on Sept 5, 2013 3:48:43 GMT
I've found something that doesn't work too well with this... loud music
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Post by jan on Sept 5, 2013 9:28:33 GMT
I've found something that doesn't work too well with this... loud music well turn it down then neighbours will be happier I have to admit after scenario of finding out about my referral I didn't manage to get mindful yesterday but have an easy day today so am intending to attempt an exercise today watch this space
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Post by jan on Sept 6, 2013 20:35:36 GMT
am embarrassed to say - though having read required reading - I still havn't got around to doing any of it been here before in lots of different scenarios what can I say tomorrows another day there's always hope
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 21:38:52 GMT
It's very tricky and feels utterly contrived. You have to almost pretend to humour yourself, if you're anything like me
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 6, 2013 22:19:08 GMT
am i allowed to admit that i haven't even opened the book yet. (except to see that it's printed in a grey print on creamy pages) but i have been doing some mindfulness anyway... i will catch up i just struggle to get started so....i have set aside some time tomorrow for a blitz catch up of reading before the next homework, cos if i get too far behind i will give up.. (story of my life in one simple message)
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2013 1:21:09 GMT
I have been told in the past that mindfulness is best learnt when you are not very ill. I think if you are in a place where you are really struggling you will probably benefit from picking bits and bobs about it on this thread. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to put too much pressure on yourself to read the book and follow it to the letter if you feel really bad. If you can just familiarise yourself with mindfulness and try and practice a few little exercises along the way I think this would be a good start. The last thing any of us needs is any more failure and ammunition to beat ourselves up with.
And Lesley - thank God you are back!!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2013 1:25:50 GMT
Just a thought - is anyone here really good at just writing concisely the nuts and bolts of what book is on about for the benefit of those who haven't got the book or are struggling too much to read?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2013 1:25:53 GMT
am i allowed to admit that i haven't even opened the book yet. (except to see that it's printed in a grey print on creamy pages) but i have been doing some mindfulness anyway... i will catch up i just struggle to get started so....i have set aside some time tomorrow for a blitz catch up of reading before the next homework, cos if i get too far behind i will give up.. (story of my life in one simple message) Do the banister thing. Walk up the stairs slowly. It's the reason I posted it and your reason above is why I didn't bother with the book. ANOTHER book to add to the queue with the intention of analysing every syllable... or never opening!
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Post by Lesley on Sept 7, 2013 8:37:55 GMT
Mary, I think that's good advice from Petra and Michael. And I've been coming to the conclusion that, for those of us who are using the book, trying to keep in step isn't going to work either. We are all going to do things at different speeds, either because some of the exercises come more easily or harder to us, or because of events in our lives which make it difficult to practice (Jan, I was really sorry to hear about your latest setback). So I think we should all just report on our own practice, whether it's following the book as written, reading bits of the book in the order that seems most useful to us, or doing your own thing as Michael is. If we tell each other about things that have worked for us, hopefully that will encourage us all and some of them will work for other people as well. Quote from Chapter 3: "It is your journey: make it fit your life and your preferences."
I've been AWOL again for a couple of days. Thursday was for typical ADHD reasons - I just couldn't get myself started on doing anything. Then yesterday my husband made an emergency visit to the optician, having developed slight fuzzy vision, and was found to have a haemorrhage in his right eye. Cue visit to, first, the local hospital; then the hospital in Bath, 15 miles away. We were there from 7.15 to gone midnight, while they gave him medication for high blood pressure and waited to see how it worked. His blood pressure came down a bit, but not enough, so they admitted him and I came home, getting back about 1 am. I've spoken to him this morning and his blood pressure is much better now, but who knows how things are going to go over the next few days. So I hope to be around, and have some mindfulness experiences to report, but may not be.
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Post by jan on Sept 7, 2013 10:11:31 GMT
oh Lesley that's mega stress, sorry to hear that, hope all will improve today and that you get hubbie back soon x wish him a speedy recovery from me - (but remember to look after you xx ) ( - and idea about mindfulness in your post sounds best way forward)
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 7, 2013 10:28:29 GMT
Thank you petra, michael and lesley for your kind words, acceptance, advice. i'm grateful.
I have a lot on at the moment and not enough capacity to go around. this week I was pathologically exhausted and just had to let myself sleep and rest cos i simply couldn't do anything else. I just started the book this morning, and because it's saturday it's a bit easier. but here's my experience of "doing mindfulness" when i wasn't reading about it.....
About five months ago after i stopped smoking i started doing deep breathing exercises first thing in the morning, and just lay in bed for half an hour after the alarm went off, gently focussing on breathing. I noticed my days went a tiny bit better because I had had a chance to clear my head. So i started to lengthen that to follow on with a bit of meditation - days went a tiny bit better.
A month or so later i started doing some gentle stretching, and noticed I was a bit calmer and felt a bit more grounded. I ordered a book of simple gentle yoga exercises and at the beginning of july i began doing the breathing and the first warm up exercises really slowly and gently, holding onto that yoga thing of "simply notice, don't judge". I felt a little bit calmer, a little bit more aware of my body, a little bit stronger.
Each morning i sit in the kitchen and focus on breathing, focus on simple things, feel myself get distracted and gently pull myself back to focus on breathing (and get distracted and focus etc etc). And i just stay with it, and notice how i'm doing, without beating myself up if it's not going well. Then after a while i begin to do the stretches - most of them sitting down. Some days they go well, some days it takes me most of my time to focus my breathing and sit still. But i am learning not to rush myself, that getting them right or getting them done and over isn't the point, but being in them while i do them is the point.
And when it clicks it feels amazing. And some times i feel so centred in them that i become aware of my thoughts as if they were a separate bit of me, and i am calm and noticing them and they are not as important as they feel when stuck in the middle of them. I am trying to learn to be gentle and notice and not judge. And somewhere in there i'm also trying to let go, and not feel i have to battle so much for everything. that's what i'm hoping mindfulness will be like.
SO, Yesterday i was well stressed. It was not a good day. In fact it was a bad day. I was extremely stressed. I was waiting and that's my worst subject. The person who was coming to help me had to change the time, and change is perhaps an even worse subject. And then didn't come at that time but delayed over and over until the day was nearly over, and i was very stressed, to the point of feeling powerless and frustrated and depressed and overwhelmed.
So i decided to wash up, mindfully (i don't have any stairs to go up and down). So i sat and looked at the bubbles as they grew and the shape of the stains on the bowls and the plates. I tried to hold awareness of my breathing while i waited for the water to run, listening to it and watching it. I tried to hold awareness of the warmth of the water and the feeling of the plates, the brightness of the pattern and the many times I had washed them up in the past. And i had to pull myself back quite a few times from getting distracted, but i did it gently as i would when doing yoga stretches. Reminding myself not to beat myself up but to be gentle with myself. And just focus on doing the thing i was doing.
And i moved from washing up to wiping round to sweeping the floor to tidying the bathroom - and before i knew it, i had managed to do almost an hour of chores. And that hour had gone quite fast and gently, with none of the usual feelings of panic or boredom or restlessness or worry or endurance or gritted teeth that normally happen when i am doing this type of stuff unless i have someone around to distract me or encourage me or some other external reason for doing it.
I wasn't in a hurry, i wasn't going to be judged by someone if it wasn't done, it wasn't particularly urgent. But i got loads done, and none of it hurt like it usually does. And i had felt quite calm and ok doing it. which was v weird. And i had a sense that the day would happen how it happened anyway, and i could either be stressed about it or not, but i would still have to get through it either way, and it would be me that would be stressed and angry and irritable and struggling.
And later on when i was really stressed again i decided to just type out how i was feeling, so that when my friend arrived i wouldn't be blowing up and moaning and angry the moment she arrived. And i typed over 2000 words in about 30 minutes, and the time with my friend was fine - i wasn't at blow up point the minute she got through the door, simply a bit disappointed but pragmatic. And we had a really good evening, with only one minor blow up.
I didn't remember to breathe. I didn't remember to centre myself. I didn't remember to be in the present moment but was in my eternal NOW of hyperfocus. But it was so much better than i could possibly have imagined when i was super-stressed and overwhelmed and so frustrated i wanted to die or explode.
i hope that's mindfulness. I'm sorry it's SOOOOOO long.
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 7, 2013 10:39:24 GMT
lesley - sorry to hear about your husband. hope he is well and back home soon.
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Post by jan on Sept 7, 2013 11:03:35 GMT
wow mary that's a phenomenal post - really - I was there with you as was reading it when your on form we not gonna need the book struck me as well the way you started your day - in bed, doing breathing first, mounting up to actual physical stuff and how once your up you spent time sitting in the kitchen - really struck a chord with me - the gentle progression - once I get out of bed I attack the day like a racehorse so the way you describe it is really helpful will be re reading your post through the day thanks think you've kick started my brain into actually doing this stuff xx
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