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Post by greyblanket on Aug 15, 2014 11:14:01 GMT
Hi
I would like to participate in this, but am slightly concerned about buying the book for various reasons. I will just give a bit about my background to mindfulness meditation.
I have done mindfulness in the past but at the moment it is not part of my life at all. It took ages for me to understand what it meant, and I always felt that given my temperament it might be something I could never achieve. I think I always thought it was something far more complicated than it needed to be.
I bought an Inisght Meditation book and CD, and just did a couple of their guided meditations, but felt I probably wasn't doing it properly because I didn't have the discipline to follow and complete the course in the book.
I also went to a Buddhist Meditation Class which I found really useful, but I stopped going because I started to worry that perhaps it was a cult -- this was my reason to myself for stopping, I don't actually think it was rational.
I then by a strange set of circumstances encountered someone who was a teacher and a healer and he explained to me that
There was no need to be over ambitious about meditation
That you do not need to have a special seat or cushion
The most important thing of all was to actually do it, and to do it regularly and develop a practice
He explained to me that you should not spend too long meditating, that it was not good to spend hours and hours every day doing it. Five minutes a day is better than an hour once a week.
Looking back what he told me could have been specifically designed to counter all of my own blocks to progressing with it and I wonder if he would have said the same thing to everybody.
Following this revelation I started meditating regularly and I used some guided meditations, and also a technique he taught me which was to close my eyes but look as far ahead into the distance as you could (with your eyes closed) and see what you could see. If something distracted you, to then just be aware of it and cast it aside, then return to looking far ahead.
I found this technique quite powerful and I think I combined it with ideas of mindfulness that I had already been exposed to, particularly the tossing away of intrusive thoughts. I even used to lock myself in the loo for five minutes when work was very stressful and have a quick meditate. I found I developed a sense of a space between something happening and me responding to it, and it really helped me to respond far less emotionally and inappropriately to the world. I also found that I had better ideas while I was doing it.
After a while I could feel a physical change following meditation -- my head and brain felt different.
Obviously this small success was a bit alien to me and it wasn't enough to keep the over ambitious perfectionist in me under control, and I started to worry that I wasn't doing it properly and that I should be doing it better, getting more out of it. So I enrolled on a Wildmind mindfulness course which I just was not able to engage with. I got behind, and once I am behind I don't generally want to know any more, so I abandoned it.
The one thing I learned (or interpreted) from the Wildmind Course was that what I had (probably) been doing with my meditation was triggering the relaxation response, but that meditation was about more than that and it was bad to focus on that.
I then felt there was no point in continuing with the meditation I had been doing because it was somehow 'wrong' and this gave me an excuse to abandon it altogether.
Looking back I can say that even if triggering the relaxation response is not the be all and end all of meditation, it was very useful for me, and I really regret that I abandoned it.
I would be keen to participate in a meditate-along but am not sure how to go about it. I am slightly wary about buying the book because it might overwhelm me, and it might just be another book that I don't read or use (it would join many other books in this category).
gb
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Post by Lesley on Aug 15, 2014 17:29:49 GMT
So pleased you've started this again, petra, and that it's going better this time. See what you miss when you don't log in! - I'd have known about this ages ago if I had done. And contrarymary - glad you're giving it a go again too. scatterbrain - I've read your book and like it. Will come back and say more later. And greyblanket - I've just printed your post off to read - will write more after dinner.
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 15, 2014 18:05:36 GMT
@lesley how lovely to see you
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Post by Lesley on Aug 16, 2014 7:37:46 GMT
Must be brief at the moment - but I do want to say a couple of things to greyblanket before disappearing again (but not for long, I hope). First, I'd suggest you don't buy either book yet. Reading through your post, I'd say you got good advice from your "teacher and healer", and that you were doing well and developing a practice that worked for you until you were derailed by what you recognise is your own "over ambitious perfectionist". If you want to do something straight away, I would start again with what was working for you before. One of the things both books have in common is that they emphasise that "it's your journey" and you should do what feels right to you. I've had a very quick look at the Wildmind site, which I hadn't heard of before. You imply that you may have been (mis?)interpreting them when you decided you were doing it wrong - I think you may be right about that, but whether it was them or you saying it, I think it's wrong to say that it's a bad thing to focus on the relaxation response. There are many different types of meditation. Insight or Mindfulness meditation (I think they're both translations of the same Buddhist word) isn't aimed at achieving relaxation - other types are. If you found that using the mix of methods you had developed helped you relax, and that was something you needed, then that's fine. It was obviously doing more than just help you relax, though - it was doing other good things for you as well, which are the kind of things you hope to get from a mindfulness practice. This thread isn't really a "meditate-along" - it started out with more-or-less that intention, but we found that didn't work. so we started all doing our own thing and reporting back on it when we felt up to it, encouraging each other and learning from each other. I skimmed through this thread last night and think I need to come back and re-read it properly - there's an awful lot to learn from it. You might like to do that if you haven't already - you'll find we really all do do things our own way, and also that we all have our own inner perfectionist who tells us we're doing it wrong - but we are all here to remind each other to be kind to ourself (which is one of the goals of mindfulness). So start with five minutes a day doing what worked for you, let us know how it went, we'll be encouraging and we'll share what we've been doing so you can encourage us. And if you do feel you want to try either of the books (or any other book), can I suggest you borrow it from the library first so you can see if it's going to work for you, and buy it later if you're really sure it's going to be helpful to you. Go well.
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Post by Lesley on Aug 16, 2014 7:42:25 GMT
I still want to say something about the two books, but it won't be before Tuesday at the earliest now. Got to go and get ready for a weekend away (Dorset coast, camping with friends, 60th birthday party) now.
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Post by petra on Aug 16, 2014 14:17:37 GMT
Lesley - can't tell you how lovely it is to have you back... Hope you have a really refreshing camping trip and see you back here Tuesday onwards xxx
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Post by petra on Aug 16, 2014 14:20:45 GMT
Must be brief at the moment - but I do want to say a couple of things to greyblanket before disappearing again (but not for long, I hope). ..... I'd say you got good advice from your "teacher and healer", and that you were doing well and developing a practice that worked for you until you were derailed by what you recognise is your own "over ambitious perfectionist". If you want to do something straight away, I would start again with what was working for you before. One of the things both books have in common is that they emphasise that "it's your journey" and you should do what feels right to you.Exactly what I was thinking.
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 21, 2014 11:44:31 GMT
I have managed to start yesterday with an 8 min meditation. I have tried today but have been interrupted twice!
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Post by petra on Aug 21, 2014 15:12:05 GMT
I've purchased a back stretcher/ posture corrector from ebay which will arrive next week. My plan is to go on it at least one day, and practice mindfulness at the same time. And I reckon if I do this before going to bed it will help me to get to sleep quicker too.
However we end up doing it, it needs to be doable and possible.
Haven't read any more of the book yet, but when I do, I plan to write some of the best/ key bits on here.
Just need to turn plans into reality!
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 27, 2014 10:28:20 GMT
Meditation:
I have managed to do the short 8 minute meditation this morning.
It was really hard to make myself do it. I had the real 'opposite poles' thing of a task and me, if that makes any sense to anyone. I had made it easy for me to do, but I just kept avoiding it, and this morning when i had really no reason at all not to do it. I really felt physically stressed as I put my earphones in.
BUT
I did it, and I am pleased, and by the end my head was a little less busy, and I just don't understand why I haven't been 'just doing it' but am looking forward and not backwards.
Mindfulness
I was reading something else the other day which happened to deal with mindfulness in general, as a way of being rather than mindfulness in relation to meditation. I took some notes --
Mindfulness is being awake and aware, a state of being tuned in to yourself, others around you, and your environment.
Mindlessnes is the opposite, being tuned out or oblivious to important aspects of what's going on around you or maybe even what's happening inside yourself.
There was some other stuff about the brain, but I am just looking at my notes now, and they are not clear enough for me to make sense of. I will try to go back and read again and post.
gb
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Post by Lesley on Aug 27, 2014 13:34:16 GMT
Glad to hear that you've managed to make a start and are pleased with the results, greyblanket. I said I'd say something about the two books. and I think what I wanted to say boils down to that I think there's a lot to be said for both of them. When I was using LZ (the book we were all trying to use and petra is now using again - "The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD" by Lydia Zylowska) last autumn I was a little put out that it didn't use the same exercises in the same order as the course I had done earlier in the year (I have a tendency to think the way I am first introduced to something is the "right" way) and also I was influenced by other people's dislike of it. In spite of this I did get quite a lot out of the few exercises I did. I've just started reading it again - I've read Chapters 1 and 2 so far, and think she does do a good job of explaining how mindfulness can help with the problems of executive function which come with ADHD. I'm going to start using the book again, doing again some of the exercises I've already done, skipping others, and carrying on to the end this time, hopefully giving everything a try, or at least most things. My aim will be to incorporate anything I find useful as part of - or maybe even a development of - my now established (brief) daily (well, most days) mindfulness practice. I also have MW (the book recommended by scatterbrain - "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman). This was recommended to me ages ago by a friend (who doesn't have ADHD). One of the things she liked about it was his voice on the CD! I thought about buying it, then earlier this year the woman who taught my course last year announced that she would be doing a course based on it, with a copy of the book included as course materials. So I signed up, did the course in April and May this year, and got the book that way. It was, of course, a lot easier to get through the book with the support of the tutor and class than it had been to try working through LZ by myself! The way mindfulness is introduced in MW is a lot closer to the way it was taught in my last year's course (not a coincidence - my tutor trained with Mark Williams) so of course I also liked it because of that. But I do also find his way of explaining things very clear and very gentle. I like the fact that in the guided meditations he is always giving alternatives or saying "if you choose", and emphasising that you should do what works for you. And because the guided meditations are brief, and because I made a point of doing them as often as possible first thing in the morning, I found that when the course finished I was able to carrying on doing it. So now I sit mindfully (usually silently now) for about 10 minutes every morning, usually before breakfast (except when I don't - I miss the odd day, and missed several last week and struggled to get back into the habit). My plan is to carry on doing a brief session of mindfulness every morning, and to start doing a longer session later in the day a couple of times a week - but that hasn't happened yet. I also need to do more on being mindful throughout the day - at the moment it tends to be the morning session and that's it (though I think I do feel the benefit throughout the day). So I think either book or both of them could be recommended to someone with ADHD wanting to try mindfulness. But I would suggest people make full use of their public library (use it or lose it! - that really seems to be the case at the moment) to see if any book suits them before buying it. petra - I'd be really interested to hear how you're getting on with LZ - and also how your mother is doing with MW.
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 27, 2014 15:55:04 GMT
I've read Chapters 1 and 2 so far, and think she does do a good job of explaining how mindfulness can help with the problems of executive function which come with ADHD . Thanks for this. from my previous experience, I can really see how -- without understanding why -- meditation can improve executive function. So I would be very interested in all the ADHD specifics, and I think I will see if the library will get me a copy. I know they used to be able to order in books from outside the area, but not sure if they still do this. I am really wary about buying the book, because it might make just sit there and reproach me. Thanks. Gb
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Post by Deleted on Aug 27, 2014 18:23:07 GMT
Mindfulness isn't meditation - it's more of a training tool to increase concentration. Obviously not as easy for us as most but it's cheap and, apparently, effective.
Apart from the sheer amount of time you have to invest in it I can't see a downside.
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Post by petra on Aug 27, 2014 21:42:20 GMT
petra - I'd be really interested to hear how you're getting on with LZ - and also how your mother is doing with MW. From what my mum has said so far, I don't think she feels mindfulness is for her - I'm guessing here that's because it's not a quick enough fix and that she doesn't need it badly enough to stick with it possibly. I haven't read any more of LZ at all....but still fully intend to, and to write the key bits down. I find it really helpful listening to others actual experiences and gold nuggets that come their way, as you and greyblanket have done...so I do hope to contribute too in this way...but not sure when atm. However, the back stretcher I ordered arrived. I have always carried a huge amount of tension in my upper back/ shoulders and neck in particular. Exercise helps but never fully alleviates it. The combination of the back stretcher and Concerta is proving to be a revelation. I am actually able to truly relax when I'm on the stretcher. It is a totally new experience to me...I don't think I have ever been able to relax before in my whole life. I've been able to sedate myself with pills...which I thought was relaxing...but I now realise wasn't...I was simply drugging myself which is not the same at all. With this back stretcher, and Concerta, I can actually let my mind go blank....this has never happened to me before. And I now can see, with that amount of tension and racing mind, it was inevitable that I would need sleeping tablets, and that my excema would never fully go away as it is stress related. I don't want to speak to soon, and I still am on pills and medicated creams for my skin, and am still taking sleeping tablets...but...the back stretcher arrived Saturday...started Concerta the Saturday before, and the last few nights I've had the most deepest and refreshing sleep ever in my life, and my skin is 99% clear of excema.
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 28, 2014 13:58:05 GMT
@inachiso I definitely found when I was meditating regularly over quite a long period, it really did start to help me to bring myself back to a more mindful position, and in fact generally made me more mindful, less distracted and less prone to reacting unnecessarily. It was just something that I became aware of after a while. I'm very aware that I set myself up to fail all the time, and always think,what I'm doing must be wrong and that I should be doing it better, but since I have rebooted my mindfulness meditation practice I really regret abandoning it a few years ago. There is a big lesson in it for me, because I am very prone to abandoning things because I don't think I do them properly. petra the backstretcher sounds like a fab idea, and glad Concerta is helping. @planetdave I think mindfulness is the concept, a state of being that is desirable to achieve and meditation is one of a number of practices that are used to achieve it. When I use the term meditation, mindfulness is implicit within that. Also, I fell into the trap of thinking that it required a massive investment of time to develop a meaningful practice but in fact it hardly takes any time at all, when I did manage to get going with it, I started with 5 minutes a day. Two 20 minute sessions a day are the most I think I would ever want or need to do. Over meditating can become an avoidance strategy. Gb
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Post by petra on Aug 28, 2014 20:40:45 GMT
I think mindfulness is the concept, a state of being that is desirable to achieve and meditation is one of a number of practices that are used to achieve it. When I use the term meditation, mindfulness is implicit within that. Also, I fell into the trap of thinking that it required a massive investment of time to develop a meaningful practice but in fact it hardly takes any time at all, when I did manage to get going with it, I started with 5 minutes a day. Two 20 minute sessions a day are the most I think I would ever want or need to do. Over meditating can become an avoidance strategy. Gb I think this hits the nail on the head. Each journey is personal, and there is no right or wrong way. And we're not talking about making some major life style change....it's the 5/10 minutes, with an awareness through the day...a gentle thing, but one that over time will help to more centre and calm us and have a profound effect (which I think we have all experienced at one level or another) all of which is doable and achievable. I think, especially with having adhd, whatever practice we do there must be an underlying desire to do it or there is little hope IMO. I'm also realising how incredibly complicated I've made mindfulness in my head too - like some kind of impossible cryptic puzzle...and seeing the volume of books and audios on the subject has only served to confirm this. A four year old could understand the basics of mindfulness ...it is NOT rocket science!!!!
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 29, 2014 8:19:17 GMT
I have a terrible tendency to over complicate things. I sometimes wonder if it's avoidance, lack of confidence, delusion. For example buying the book means I have read it and learnt a skill; buying the storage solution means I am organised. I just don't know. For me, mindfulness meditation is an excellent example of the power and benefit of 'little and often' which is a principle I rarely follow. Here is a link to some free mindfulness resources. marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22Gb
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 29, 2014 8:31:41 GMT
greyblanket i really identify with many of your posts, esp these last two. i do think that many of the struggles you describe are caused by adhd, but it's really helpful for me to have it articulated so clearly and in a way i can relate to - the overcomplicating, the feeling we are wrong or things are spoiled - thank you i continue to find that when i meditate for 20 mins in the morning and evening and do 30 mins v gentle yoga stretches, and have enough sleep and get to bed at a reasonable time, life goes so much more easily it is almost unrecognisable. somehow the balance enables me to have perspective and feel balanced and to really Let Go, rather than feeling the need to grasp hold of everything in order to stop it falling apart while running on empty. sadly it only takes a little thing and i am out of whack - an 11-2 am emergency phone call from a friend on tuesday and i am still not rebalanced. it is difficult to reset, and meanwhile life has felt more strained and tiring. but once i have fallen it is harder to hold all the self-discipline together. and there is so much on my plate it is hard to let myself stop and rest. it is quite simply astonishing in its simplicity. stop, meditate, listen to mind, listen to your body, rest when tired, eat when hungry, go gently. and now to meditate, having procrastinated and distracted for the last two hours!!!
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 29, 2014 10:34:27 GMT
contrarymary: Today I can see that overcomplicating things is probably behind many of my problems, and it's funny that you should mention control, and the slightest thing throwing you off whack. These are so true for me. I am currently doing a course and despite starting on time and not being behind, I am now stopping myself doing two very small pieces of work until i get my folder 'properly sorted out' and have printed all the material and have read it and then taken notes. I KNOW FOR A FACT that this is completely unrealistic and that there is no need to have read everything before doing the work, but I am using it as an exercise in self sabotage. I am hoping that having articulated this I will now be able to ignore these daft thoughts. gb
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Post by greyblanket on Aug 29, 2014 10:35:45 GMT
contrarymary I meant to mention in the last post that I was tremendously impressed with your 30 mins a day Italian and hope this is still going well.
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 29, 2014 14:43:09 GMT
thank you the italian got to the stage where I would have had to stop and do some serious grammar study in order to properly understand and consolidate what i was doing. and then i seriously struggled to function during the hot weather and post-lightning strike, so i decided to have a break from italian from mid july. (i have taken on two projects which have deadlines within 20 days of each other September-mid October. one would be ambitious and stretch me quite a bit, two is overwhelming. but i have committed and they are going to happen..thus no spare brain for italian grammar!) for me the point of the language-learning was to be doing something where i use working memory, concentration, attention.... something where I could do it for about half an hour most days and gradually get better at it. i have never been very good at the things of slowly building skills - i want to be able to do it immediately or i lose interest! for the last two weeks i have been re-learning to play the recorder! it's a practical skill, good for my breathing, muscle memory, working memory... and i had a recorder and music in the house! i haven't played since i was 11, and haven't been able to concentrate enough to read music since i first had neuro symptoms about ten years ago. i started with some very simple 16th century pieces and have now added a longer piece. each day i try and play them a little better, and if they are going well (or if i am bored) i add a bit of sight-reading. my tone is pretty terrible, my working memory is shocking, i make a lot of mistakes - but i am getting better!!!
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Post by petra on Aug 30, 2014 0:18:39 GMT
sadly it only takes a little thing and i am out of whack - an 11-2 am emergency phone call from a friend on tuesday and i am still not rebalanced. it is difficult to reset, and meanwhile life has felt more strained and tiring. but once i have fallen it is harder to hold all the self-discipline together. That's really bazaar...I had an extremely unpleasant emergency phone call very late Tuesday night too. And I'm still not rebalanced yet. It's totally thrown my sleeping out which has then gone on to throw everything else out too. And then I've battled with myself because I'm so frustrated that I've been 'unbalanced' just when I was achieving balance...and then feeling guilty because this is nothing and incomparable to the phone call. It's made me feel like cutting myself off from everybody, because whilst you have people in your life, you can't control fully what happens. I think if I'd had the phone call in the morning, although it would still have been awful, I think I would have had a fighting chance of being able to stay afloat amidst the chaos.
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Post by petra on Aug 30, 2014 0:23:34 GMT
Also, contrarymary, re music, I used to play an instrument and have been thinking about taking it up again. Do you struggle with timing at all? I'm wondering if this is an adhd problem...though perhaps not because there are some musicians on here....I've just always had the worst problems with timing, and have found it incredibly complicated and overwhelming....was wondering if this is an adhd thing?
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Post by contrarymary on Aug 30, 2014 14:24:11 GMT
sadly it only takes a little thing and i am out of whack - an 11-2 am emergency phone call from a friend on tuesday and i am still not rebalanced. it is difficult to reset, and meanwhile life has felt more strained and tiring. but once i have fallen it is harder to hold all the self-discipline together. That's really bazaar...I had an extremely unpleasant emergency phone call very late Tuesday night too. And I'm still not rebalanced yet. It's totally thrown my sleeping out which has then gone on to throw everything else out too. And then I've battled with myself because I'm so frustrated that I've been 'unbalanced' just when I was achieving balance...and then feeling guilty because this is nothing and incomparable to the phone call. It's made me feel like cutting myself off from everybody, because whilst you have people in your life, you can't control fully what happens. I think if I'd had the phone call in the morning, although it would still have been awful, I think I would have had a fighting chance of being able to stay afloat amidst the chaos. how strangely similar on many levels. i feel similarly to you about needing to have people-free time in order to restore balance... it's good to have people, but has to be balanced with time & space without them or i simply cannot manage. (i wonder if it is as large a difficulty for others, or helped by being on medication? or perhaps something to do with the fact that we are both living with additional issues as well as adhd) and now i have limped (metaphorically) to my lovely people-free saturday and am so reveling in a day to myself, and have such a sense of relief. i stayed up late to get chores out of the way and today has been blissful. i have slept a little more, read in bed, pottered a little and eaten the most lovely and simple food. i am really enjoying the space and myself - despite simply being at home it feels like a holiday, a day to rest and enjoy and reset. and i feel lucky. and now some late-in-the day meditation and gentle stretches... petra i so hope that you are able to find some space and gently rest and reset too... balance comes back, even more easily than it did the last time i lost it. it is so good to know that balance can be found again, simply by trusting and beginning anew. i wonder whether
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Post by petra on Aug 30, 2014 15:18:37 GMT
I'm getting there, but still not as good as I was prior to 'The Phone Call'. Then there was another slightly difficult family conversation (unrelated) last night, but it's not affected me as much.
I think people are necessary for life, and can be beneficial! But nothing has the ability to drain or trigger me like people can - their words and actions...
Ive been on Concerta for 2 weeks now - I can definitely see it being able to fuel me to get things done,which alone will have dramatically positive consequences. But I'm really hoping as I get stronger and more balanced and settled on a correct dose, that I am able to better put up boundaries (I'm really naff at this which is a big problem for me) and more able to shrug things off. I need thicker skin. I was doing so well Sunday Monday and Tuesday, and sleeping so well, it's shaken me just how much the phone call has thrown me. I need to get my confidence back.
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Post by greyblanket on Sept 1, 2014 10:34:18 GMT
Daily recorder practice -- what a fantastic idea. I have had to stop myself spending hours looking for one and starting myself. I have too many undone things at the moment and have to stop starting things.
gb
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Post by petra on Sept 4, 2014 19:58:36 GMT
it is quite simply astonishing in its simplicity. stop, meditate, listen to mind, listen to your body, rest when tired, eat when hungry, go gently. I keep thinking of this sentence when I'm 'being mindful' - it's brilliant! Thank you for stating it like that - it's helping to break down barriers of very unhelpful complexity I'd built up previously which is exactly what I need atm.
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Post by contrarymary on Sept 4, 2014 20:14:06 GMT
petra i'm so glad x i've had the busiest, most demanding few days i've had in years. it reminded me v strongly why i'm not well enough to work. been so busy i haven't been on the forum! i didn't manage to keep up with yoga, and i certainly haven't had enough sleep. but i kept meditating, and i found it has kept everything - anxiety, worry, overwhelm, panic, irritation - at bay. i was able to prepare reasonably calmly, focus - albeit in chunks, and let go of control, and simply go through and let it all unfold. and it worked. it is quite astonishing. and simple. and effective. and easy - so much easier than any other way of living in and through things. above all, it is simple. and o so worth gently returning each day
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Post by petra on Sept 14, 2014 0:04:30 GMT
I am currently doing a course and despite starting on time and not being behind, I am now stopping myself doing two very small pieces of work until i get my folder 'properly sorted out' and have printed all the material and have read it and then taken notes. I KNOW FOR A FACT that this is completely unrealistic and that there is no need to have read everything before doing the work, but I am using it as an exercise in self sabotage. I am hoping that having articulated this I will now be able to ignore these daft thoughts. gb What you've written here, in essence, is where I've been going wrong with mindfulness. After managing to firmly believe (wrongly) that mindfulness is phenomenally complex...like something you'd ideally need a masters degree before even contemplating approaching...and that really I ought to majorly study it in depth...and then, preferably, before actually beginning the 'art' of mindfulness I should first have my bedroom tidy...house in order...etc..etc...In fact, as it turns out, this is a pattern I follow in a lot of things...and like you said...THERE IS NO NEED AND IT IS NOT REALISTIC!!! The two 'ping' moments I've had with this problem so far, though I guess it's a process of realisation (which now seems blindingly obvious) are what contrarymary wrote, and secondly, the page of meditations you gave a link for. Just, simply meditations. No reading. No pages and pages to read. Just the meditation exercises. Anyway, long story short, I found the page of exercises from my book presented in the same way. I have now done the first exercise several times, including when I've been struggling emotionally. Mindfulness basically is a mind muscle exercise. And doing a few minutes regularly builds and tones the mind muscle which has significantly positive knock on effects. And like with physical exercise, you don't need a degree in anatomy and physiology, or to become a world class gymnast in order to reap great benefits from it. A twenty minute brisk walk can do wonders. If you happen to be interested in fitness, then you can of course learn more if you want to, but it's really not a necessity. At the moment, my 'mind muscle' is very unfit, and around 6 minutes of mindfulness in one go is quite enough for me. But, just like if you do go for a twenty minute brisk walk, this may cause you to correct your posture a few times during the day, or perhaps eat some fresh fruit instead of the chocolate bar - because you want to - I'm finding my 6 minutes of mindfulness is causing me moments of increased awareness which can have quite an impact. For example, someone rang me today asking if they could pop over for a coffee. Nothing wrong in that! But. I already had a plan of something I wanted to do. Instead of automatically saying yes which I always do, I stopped, just for a moment, and realised if they came over, it wouldn't just be a quick coffee, it would be the whole afternoon gone - along with my plans which quite possibly would NEVER get done! I politely said "no, another time" and went on to get what I had planned done, which led to a big feeling of accomplishment! All this because I'd done 6 minutes of mindfulness in the morning!
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Post by greyblanket on Sept 17, 2014 19:20:20 GMT
petra this is all very familiar! It is that mental space you get, just that small distance that helps you respond rather than react if that makes sense. I really built the whole practice up to be something extremely complex, but I do it all the time and it's incredibly self defeating. It sounds like I'm not alone in this. I wonder why we do it? Gb
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