|
Post
Nov 21, 2011 16:48:35 GMT
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 21, 2011 16:48:35 GMT
the plus side of having no paying job is that I have only one email inbox to take care of ^^
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 21, 2011 14:04:41 GMT
So was it your wife who helped you sort out your study? Perhaps I could borrow her for a few days? Hm... I'm pretty sure she might work for airfare and food But seriously, get a buddy to help you out, like the "You mean I'm not crazy, lazy or stupid" book suggests. Having help really makes all the difference and some people actually enjoy creating order as for things that come out of purses and never make it back to their intended place: I have a "launchpad box" in the living room. When I get home I empty the "regular" contents of my bag into it and put the bag away. Next time I'm going out and need a bag I can pick whichever I want (because they're all empty! neat, huh? ) and go to my launchpad and pack what I'm going to need from there. I also have one of those clear plastic bags intended for air travel where toiletries/makeup necessities are stored, so I just have to grab that from the box and stuff it into my bag instead of loose tampons, lipstick etc. edited to say: The boxes stay in order because my main problem was not knowing where things are supposed to go.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 21, 2011 13:57:28 GMT
...when you get out of the shower, towel dry your hair and think it feels a bit slick. Then you realise you haven't washed out the conditioner *headdesk* and that hasn't only happened to you that one time. You guys, door handles are evil! I've torn I don't know how many t-shirts on them. But when I bump into things I usually mutter (translated, in German it's actually funny and cracks my wife up every time): "There was already something", alluding to the space-time continuum which I firmly believe is the one at fault. Because sometimes when I go somewhere some inanimate object already occupies this space at that time. 's not my fault!
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 21, 2011 13:47:45 GMT
Today I already - took out the glass and plastic trash (which we keep putting off) - realised someone had broken the side mirror off our car but hey, no biggie since the car wouldn't start anyway - actually handled the fact that we probably really need a new car by now much better than my non-adhd wife - went shopping for groceries on foot instead (in -3°C brrrr....) - put away groceries and tidied up a little - started a load of laundry - worked through my to do box I am in the process of arranging some socialising for this week. Now I need lunch and my episode of Sanctuary But afterwards I might - touch up and send my CV in for a collaborative movie project I want to be involved in - clean the dehydrator and dehydrate the hell out of some apples - slow-roast a chicken and some veggies for dinner - make beef stock okay maybe that's a bit ambitious
|
|
|
Post
Nov 21, 2011 13:38:25 GMT
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 21, 2011 13:38:25 GMT
I keep sending myself emails with notes for presents that people would probably like and come november I start figuring out what it's going to be.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 18, 2011 10:00:10 GMT
audrey, that's what it looks like here too when I don't know where things go I can really really really recommend getting someone to help you. someone who's good with this priorities shit and filing and making sense of things can help you figure out a system. I think part of avoiding desk chaos is not to have anything on the desk you can dump chaos into. i.e. on my desk there's my mac and a pair of bluetooth headphones in their loading station, a box of tissues, a coaster and a paper weight. and that's it. This way when I dump stuff here I notice immediately that it doesn't look right and drop it into one of the file hanger boxes. Because I do like order. I just never managed to achieve it before. oh man, I really wish I could help each and every one of you with this because omg I love my new work environment (I work from home) :-D twix, I totally adore mobislenotes because I can sync it (well, when it works lol) to all my devices.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 12:19:45 GMT
Because dizzy asked me about my to do box, I thought I'd start a thread where we can share the way we get organised (or failed to do so ) Maybe we can help each other out with ideas/inspire each other. I'll start: It's pretty simple: To Do BoxTo do items go into the To Do Box - things that need to be filed away, phone calls to be made, emails to be written, things that need to be done - if they do not fit or are metaphysical I write them down on these little quadratic note papers I keep in my desk and put those in. Once a week I have an appointment in my google calendar that says "to do" - which means I have to work through the box. File things, make calls etc. ReferencesThings that will be needed at a later point in time go in there. My la redoute catalogue and vouchers I get for it, the endless password for our router, receipts that are irrelevant for taxes but that I like to keep for a while in case anyone complains I haven't paid yet (I always note when I've wired the money on the receipt) Film School Obvious: Handouts I get at school. Creativity 1Concrete projects get their own file hangers in here, things I am actually working on. Quote my wife: "if the box is too full you're working on too many things at once." Creativity 2Here all the random stuff goes: still vague ideas, snippets, sentences on scrap paper, photographs and images I took that could inspire something concrete, poetry, blog ideas - The boxes are PRÄNT from IKEA, I like that they're wooden but luckily still fit the file hangers (those plastic file hanger boxes are fucking ugly!) - To do box is the smallest SAMLA box from IKEA, clear plastic so I can't ignore them that easily (Out of sight out of mind) - Archives are file folders under my desk. My wife helped me come up with this system a couple of weeks ago, and so far I'm really liking it. I like knowing where everything goes now, and that putting stuff away consists of the simple process of dumping things into the correct hanger instead of opening a folder and filing them away. Now I only have to do that once a week when I dive into the to do box. how do you do it?
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 11:25:25 GMT
despite yesterday's anxiety I managed to - call a friend and ask for help/company - went outside with said friend to buy stuff for the bunnies and some groceries - fleshed out my short film idea with the help of my friend - loaded and unloaded the dishwasher - made dinner with my wife today I'm meeting my friend again to write my exposé for the film which has to be done by tomorrow. what? last minute? me? never
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 11:23:21 GMT
;D dizzy! I totally love the idea of placing my vacuum in the tiny IKEA box alas, no. I think I'll take some pictures and start a thread about organisational systems
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 11:20:23 GMT
thank you, dizzy!
My day got a little better because a friend of mine dropped by (I asked for help, wohoo! success!). and I realised the anxiety goes away when I'm busy and not obsessing about adhd and meds etc. Now I know it really IS only in my head and I can stop it. maybe I need to hang out here less...
My friend and I even went out to buy some hay for the bunnies yesterday and today I'm meeting her again for a writing session.
The strattera is not working yet but it's a definitely a good thing that I'm off the ritalin. feeling much better today. the key is knowing that it's "all in my head" and stopping myself right then and there.
You're right of course, I do care about my friends. In fact, I'm rather worried because the one that was dumped has an eating disorder :/ I know I'm basically a good person, but in that moment I just felt like a prick for thinking about me first. but I'll try to take care of my friend, if she lets me... so far she's withdrawn.
quick question: are you not on any meds by choice? and how are you treating your adhd instead?
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 17, 2011 11:12:39 GMT
no no, don't pm shiny unless you pm me too! There's nothing available here in Vienna so I'm thinking of starting a group as well. Bring on the input!
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 16, 2011 11:50:59 GMT
do we have a rant thread? I couldn't find one. I need to rant though. today sucks. decided not to go to school tonight I'm a little ashamed about it but my anxiety today is off the charts. and I've never had anxiety before. I just don't want to go outside, I guess. But I've taken some magnesium which seems to help. and I hope that in the afternoon I'll at least get started on an exposé I have to get done by friday. and in the morning I was woken by a text telling me that our favourite couple friends have broken up. actually, they're our only couple friends and we love them each AND together. and I feel like a selfish prick for this because I should be more worried about them than about us losing our couple friends. what a shitty day
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 16, 2011 11:43:45 GMT
hey dizzy, have you had your gyno check your hormone levels? I mean, if you're suspecting early menopause the hormone levels might give a clue to that. or generally show whether something's causing the severe PMT. puking? now I really feel for you
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 23:11:29 GMT
yep. drives me mad. Effects more than just sleep, relationships, house hold tasks etc etc.. My solution is intense gaming. Normally try overload myself but it takes a fair amount of time. Uch gaming will get me all hyped up. When I played WoW my insomnia got even worse. Meditation, sort of, helps me sometimes. As does reading and putting the book away at the exact moment of tiredness. if I keep on past that I'll wake up again. And, to be honest, an orgasm works wonders oh and I have this one mp3 with a thunderstorm and rain sound on it - if all else fails tht knocks me out pretty reliably.
|
|
|
Post
Nov 15, 2011 23:00:18 GMT
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 23:00:18 GMT
LOL
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 18:47:17 GMT
oh btw my pdoc suggested today I up my very minimal dose (5 mg every second day) of cipralex/lexapro to a daily dose of 5 mg, at least during PMS-times. will program my phone to remind me to up the dosage.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 18:44:25 GMT
wow--- reading all this has been very because it gives me even more of an insight into what my wife has been going through for the past 3 years (we've been together for 6.5 years but I was better at compensating until about 3 years ago). Some of you guys' stories are quite discouraging, because they do not always have that glimmer of hope one is looking for. But my wife and I have been through some shitty things in our six years - her ex mobbing me in college, my wife's depression and burnout, my grandfather's death, my dad's death, my burnout and depression, and bouts of either of us being out of a job - the ADHD is just one more thing we'll have to conquer together. and so far it's working quite well. the situation is this:I have ADD. My wife does not. When I got diagnosed we both started researching. I think her book is the "Is it you, me or adult ADD" one and it has been helping her - and us - a lot. I think it makes her get less angry and frustrated with me when I do ADHD things because now she understands that I'm not doing them on purpose. It also helped her to read other people's stories, see that she's not alone, and in a lot of ways, lucky, because I've made no fuss about going to the pdoc and starting meds. She's also in a forum for spouses and that seems to help as well. as for me, I've been reading (no, of course I haven't finished it yet) the "You mean I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid?" book and it has honestly changed my life and the way I think about myself. It's been a journey of forgiving myself, letting the self-hate go and understanding why I do things the way I do them. A fellow ADHDer I randomly met in the NBC store at 30 Rock recommended it to me and I can only try to pay this forward by recommending it to other people. It really has changed my life. I started on meds recently and they seemed to help and took a lot of the explosiveness out of our relationship. A lot less fighting, a lot more calm. Hell, if I can stand myself better it's easier for everyone else as well. Sadly, the Ritalin had a bad rebound effect for me so I'll be trying Strattera next. But I'm confident that I will find medication that works. After all, ADD is highly treatable. As for other factors: I've done 1.5 years of therapy, from after my dad died and I burnt out until about two weeks ago. So I guess I've done a lot of the "working on myself" part way before I was dx with ADD. I'm pretty sure that helped as well when it came to dealing with it, because I had already regained some of my self-worth even before I knew why I was missing it in the first place. Another thing: my wife and I talk about it A LOT. It helps us to check in with each other, trade info from the books we are reading etc. and she even helped me get organised once I had learned to admit that I needed help with some things. (she needs help with other things, everyone needs help with something.) so to sum up:- ADHD is a disability, it is not your fault nor is it anyone else's. Hence you really shouldn't be ashamed about it. On the contrary, be happy that there is a reason for all your crazy. - take some time to get used to the idea that the ADD is and always will be a part of you. and yes, you may need to go through some stages of grief as you cry for years lost and chances missed - know that ADHD is incurable but highly treatable, so --> meds are your friends - research for the ADHD partner (You mean I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid) - research for the non-ADHD spouse (Is it you, me or adult ADHD) - talk about it with your partner - ad nauseam! it will help you understand each other better - consider therapy or coaching (normal couple's therapy is not advisable since not all therapists are informed about ADHD) - learn to ask for help when you need it - and very important: learn to love yourself again (as cheesy as that may sound) & never lose your sense of humor sorry for the length of this post, but maybe it'll help someone or someone's partner.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 17:47:44 GMT
"away with the fairies" I love that description Dizzy, you are not alone with these symptoms. I'm usually out for two weeks, and by "out" I do mean "Sorry, the brain is not in at the moment". It's like, all ADHD, all the time. I drop way more things than usually, I lash out even faster and the waterworks know no bounds (TV, music - and my tear ducts are good to go). Plus intense breast pain for two weeks, cramping even way before I'm supposed to get my period - it's bad. When I told my gynaecologist she basically said, "tough luck". But I refused to accept that and now I try to watch what I eat. Last month I fought to ignore my meat cravings. Turns out I was kind of craving the smokiness of meat and not meat itself so much, so now I try to satisfy that via smoked cheeses and smoked tofu and the likes. So I ate very little meat and a lot more soy products and indeed, almost no breast pain at all and very little cramping. The diet change even helped my wife who has endometriosis. So I definitely recommend cutting out the meat (and possibly sugar and sodium-high foods as well). p.s. as for the crying: everyone cries when they feel helpless. At least every woman I've ever talked to about this. It sucks.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 15, 2011 17:33:30 GMT
I was being frrrrrivolous! ;D phew. sorry, if I overreacted then. I was off my meds, ya know? I was trying to be frrrrrivolous too though as for the tmi-ness of the topic. I just never got what the big deal people make out of talking about normal things like that. but then they're roaring about Bob Saget's fecal humor. whut? anyway, glad to know we're still good, shiny
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 18:04:45 GMT
oh come on, shiny, this is the british forum not an american one, isn't it? p e r i o d m e n s t r u a t i o n
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 14:39:02 GMT
holy shite finally got my period! *breathes easy*
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 13:36:12 GMT
soz
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 13:04:56 GMT
but I didn't have it at first! It only moved in about a week after I started taking the ritalin.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 12:49:39 GMT
Despite having quite a ghastly time with the ritalin since saturday I have helped my wife clean the flat yesterday and this morning I worked through my to do box (I have a clear plastic box where my to dos go and I'm supposed to work through it once a week). I sent myself a couple of followupthen.com emails for making doctor's appointments. it helps to do that when they're actually OPEN lol hence the reminder emails and not doing it right now. I plan on getting my recipes in order this afternoon. but first, I hope I can reach my psychiatrist because I cannot stand the elephant sitting on my chest since saturday. and it's not a baby elephant either however, lots done today methinks, after all, to dos are evil and I totally deserve extra praise for them
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 12:44:51 GMT
:-) Keep at it Audrey! I should now (maybe) take my own advice and email the council, instead of getting distracted by the internets. but... the internets... so shiny!!
|
|
|
Post
Nov 14, 2011 12:42:29 GMT
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 14, 2011 12:42:29 GMT
Ha! Guess who worked through their To Do Box today? Yup, that would be me. Hear that, vixter?
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 12, 2011 20:48:26 GMT
hell! even their website is not even remotely adhs friendly. as in: I can't fucking read that if you use five different font sizes and three colors in one paragraph! and it COSTS 5 EUROS! that's support for you... I'm so sad
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 12, 2011 20:46:37 GMT
I hear you, 24hdhd have the same problem. there is one group in Vienna but they only meet once a month and the association organising it is seriously incompetent (my wife contacted them about a group for adhs-partners and they were completely useless in their reply, as in didn't even manage to answer her question). And everything else is for mothers (not even parents!) of kids with adhd. It is so frustrating!!!
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 12, 2011 19:18:39 GMT
woah this seems way too crowded for me! Generally probably a good idea because ADHDers have issues with relating to time but it would probably make me futz around with it way to much (hello, hyperfocus) instead of actually being useful to me.
I'm a heavy google user so google calendar actually ties in very well with my android devices. In fact, it's the only thing that's ever worked for me because I will always have it with me in some form. Paper planners are useless to me.
I will also send links and reminders to myself via gmail and I've decided to give followupthen a try as well.
I still have to learn to schedule more time than I think I need but the meds are sort of beginning to help with that.
|
|
|
Post by mccutcheon on Nov 12, 2011 10:34:01 GMT
also now I'm late hrmpf. I'm never late. good thing pregnancy is not possible lol
|
|