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Post by jan on Apr 17, 2013 8:25:35 GMT
[ I just sincerely hope, now the problem is named, I can find ways to overcome it. I am both hopeful and scared at this prospect. I am not sure if I am somebody beyond help.] just got to find the method in your madness - when feeling shit just imagine the power of all us lot on here rooting for you - - and keep posting ;D (shit my little boxes are rubbish now!! used to be so proud of my boxes )
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Post by jan on Apr 17, 2013 8:14:14 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D love it - ;D ;D we need more like you on here i want a petra app as well xx
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Post by jan on Apr 17, 2013 7:44:12 GMT
(you can acquire ADHD via neurological insult but it's not common) (forgot how to do little box again! what's that?
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Post by jan on Apr 16, 2013 8:35:30 GMT
;D are you sure your human no need to worry about precious crockery - all long gone!!! but sorry - can't live without my sky plus looks like petra's it is then ;D
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Post by jan on Apr 15, 2013 22:16:02 GMT
[quote Wow - I really do a lot! s[/quote] (sh*t forgotten how to do little boxes again!! ) you are truly amazing do you fancy coming to live with me ?
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Post by jan on Apr 14, 2013 18:19:36 GMT
hi sorry to hear your having such a hard time at mo - its hard enough being a mum (i think - i'm not your earth mother type unfortunately ) never mind being a working mum with adhd on top!!! try not to give yourself a hard time about how you feel about your daughters - its not surprising when your under so much pressure and the effects of stress are massively understated!!! I have described in another post how i feel -( i think youve answered there - and petra) we are only human - saying all that i would give my life for my daughter in a heartbeat if it was needed, no question, as i'm sure you both would too. what proves that we are great mums (even though we don't believe it) is that we are doing our best !!! we don't have to be perfect mums - just good enough mums and i'm sure thats what we are xxx
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Post by jan on Apr 12, 2013 13:26:55 GMT
thanks dave sorry to be pain - ive deleted bits don't want her to see now would you mind deleting your post above telling me how to do it cos if she sees it she will nag me to death about what it had said and i'm useless at lying thanks
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Post by jan on Apr 12, 2013 13:16:39 GMT
Hi, i have just been advised that my son will no longer be able to receive medication after he leaves school at 16 from our local primary care trust. has any one else been given this information and if so is there any thing that can be done? thanks i'm no expert on getting treatment but just to say in my borough (barnet /london) children get treated in cahms (ie. get meds) until they are 18.
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Post by jan on Apr 11, 2013 10:14:35 GMT
thankfully things are still going well with my daughter (touch wood) - - - maybe it wasn't wood!? she has been better and she's still off the skunk so thats good but we're at the 2 steps back stage again at the moment !!! as was saying before managed to get her onto a (potentially ? - you never know sometimes these things turn out to be shit from past experience) hopefully really good project with a mental health charity - she's lucky to get on it as they don't usually consider taking kids with adhd and also they have just had their funding cut and so she's the last referall they are taking on!!! she will get 6 weeks of cbt 6 weeks of anger management and 8 weeks of life coaching, the cbt should be in a group but as she's in college on the day its on she will get hers 1 to 1. The workers are all people who have had life problems themselves in the past so thats another bonus to it she supposed to meet him yesterday and go to caff for a chat but she wouldn't go as she wanted him to come here, which bless him he was prepared to do but couldn't as i had to go out and he didn't feel he wanted to be in the house with her alone which is fair enough. so that didn't happen!!! now she's supposed to go to one session of the group as she's off college this week and has to be there by 12 and has only just got up and its half eleven and her excuse is because when she woke up at half ten i wouldnt make her a cup of tea in bed as i needed to go up the shop (i was stressing as i'd been overcharged £7 last night and couldn't relax till i got that sorted and turned out was actually over £8.20 !!!) and now she's moaning that she had to go back to sleep asnd its my fault she is going to be late!!!! I feel really stressed when she does this stuff as when she says to me how horrible i am that i wont do a simple thing like bring her a cup of tea in bed when after all i'm already up it makes me feel like i am nasty cos i know she does have really big problem waking up and getting up in the mornings and i've read on here that others have this part of adhd too but today i just think for fu*ks sake just get out of bed and do it yourself and then you will be up!!!! i'm not a person who allows people to walk over me in general but she just seems to play me like a violin!!! i feel so pissed off today oooh well rant over better get on with my day
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Post by jan on Apr 5, 2013 15:34:09 GMT
you take back 2 library books - one of which you still havn't got around to reading - the fine is £14 this time- and you already paid £7 on the same 2 books last time and £9 the time before that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by jan on Apr 5, 2013 7:28:35 GMT
- - - - fighting for the society that thatcher said did not exist!!!
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Post by jan on Apr 4, 2013 10:12:04 GMT
ooops sorry its not harrow its swiss cottage (the families anon meeting)
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Post by jan on Apr 4, 2013 9:50:09 GMT
its like a life coach but specifically to adress your issues around your adhd - its not councelling but stratagies to help you manage the parts of the condition that are causing you problems like organasional skills time keeping etc sounds great eh! but costs around same as therapy so talking like £50 hr i think!!!
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Post by jan on Apr 4, 2013 8:23:45 GMT
hi welcome there's different people on here at different times when i first joined i was desperate for advice from parents but there was none on for a few weeks just start your own threads if you have something you particularly like to talk about.
others on here may be able to recommend an imp articular coach, i haven't had one myself. there's a site called simply well being that have some but don't know if they are any good. i think most do coaching by skype now so would be OK even though your not in the u.k if skype would feel OK to you good luck
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Post by jan on Apr 4, 2013 7:29:02 GMT
hi Kari so sorry to hear things are getting worse with your son its so hard when our kids behave like that i know, thankfully things are still going well with my daughter (touch wood) . i'm going to pm you my tel num when i've finished this post, unfortunately the project that i have got her involved in has had their funding cut and i don't think they are taking anymore referrals now but i will ring the guy today to double check and to see if he knows of any services in your area so if you read this message today then text me which borough you live in as that can make difference to projects available.
the other guy that's helping is from our local youth service which was what was left after they cut all the connexions services in London I'm seeing him this afternoon so hopefully if you have text me by then i can ask him if he knows of any help in your area in terms of projects and stuff and also in terms of getting your son housed as its different in each borough but in general they are considered to be youth until they are 25 i think.
the other project i have found is called yuva and its an umbrella organization of the domestic violent unit and is for kids up to age 18 who have displayed violent, abusive or controlling behavior towards their parent or siblings - so sorry seems like he's over the limit age wise for that but it may be worth ringing them to ask if they know of anything for his age or in your area the num is 0208 2228281 they are based in hammer smith i think but visit other boroughs.
also i would rec commend trying a families anonymous meeting - check the web for your nearest meeting - the one in harrow on a Sunday is very strong - there's also a forum but I'm bit of technophobe so at the time i couldn't work out how to get on it.
I know this is prob not what you want to hear but maybe the time has come to let him go - if you help him find somewhere if we can find you help for that in your area then maybe it'll be the making of him as none of the above stuff will help if you let him stay but he refuses to engage. The skunk just makes everything worse for adhd - my daughter has been using it regularly for about 2 years (and intermittently since she was 12 ) till she stopped and she's a different person now and much easier to communicate with. I hope all this is some help maybe speak or text later bye for now j xx
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Post by jan on Apr 3, 2013 0:21:53 GMT
;D hi all ,just to say was lovely to meet you all and had a great night and am glad made the effort to get there. Hope you all got home safe (especially alun - sorry I lost you ) see you next time (long as i don't forget )
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Post by jan on Apr 2, 2013 23:58:45 GMT
;D still don't get it - never mind anyhow - 1 yes very often 2 nearly always 3 most of time 4 not so much nowdays usually depend on where my heads at and how stressed i am - a lot more when i was younger. alcohol and drugs destroyed it for me for many years as ended up not knowing difference between paranoya and my gut and then took long time to come back even after stopping everything - sorry - you prob didn't want such a detailed answer. I went to a spiritualist church many years ago and when was there they reckoned i had 'the gift' and wanted me to start attending medium training classes!!!!! Can you imagine !!!! i have enough problems getting on with people in this bloody world - never mind having the dead on at me as well!!!
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Post by jan on Apr 2, 2013 9:15:19 GMT
oooooh forgotten how to do the little boxes
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Post by jan on Apr 2, 2013 9:12:19 GMT
How often do you come across pre-populated questionnaires? /quote] whats a pre-populated questionnaire??? (am i revealing my incredible ignorance here?)
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Post by jan on Apr 2, 2013 8:30:25 GMT
hi i'm also a recovering alcoholic/addict and have adhd (although not diagnosed or medicated) and my daughter also has (diagnosed adhd) but chooses not to take medication - i mention this as i know when she was in school her peers that also had adhd but who were taking ritalin used to tell her to take it because it gets you more off your face when you drink others on here would be able to tell you more about that but i don't think alcohol and ritalin are a good mix.
as for not remembering the next day that's completely normal - its called blackout and sometimes can wipe days from the memory and sometimes doesn't even have to be the next day - i have come out of blackouts in the middle of a drinking session and not been able to remember the few hours before!
if your partner has anger issues and abuses alcohol its like putting petrol on a fire - i had anger issues myself and when added alcohol to the equation could literally have an argument in an empty room!!!
what we learn when we address our alcoholism is we may feel we are not 'responsible' for our behavior when we are drunk but we are 'accountable' so whether he remembers or not he needs to stop making excuses and blaming his adhd.
If i was talking to him, as someone who has been there and has adhd i'd be addressing his problems and how he can help himself but as its you asking i'm coming at it from your side.
its never excusable to be physically (or emotionally )violent towards someone you purport to care for - its completely unacceptable whether he has adhd or not!! you cannot support someone who has an alcohol problem if they are still drinking!! go get some support for yourself al anon is a good place to meet others who have been where you are , give it a go , i know it sounds naff but it helps so much to talk with people who have been there in the same way as we get identification talking to each other on here. don't be put off if you don't connect with people at the first meeting you go to, try a few first.
I wont give advise about your relationship - but will say you need to look after you - if your partner is an alcoholic he will need to admit that to himself - and then you can support him - until then there's not a lot you can do.
xx
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Post by jan on Mar 30, 2013 12:48:48 GMT
------ when curled up relaxing in front of the (gas) fire with the dog sharing her huge cushion reading the gaurdian - you have horrific cold but think to yourself 'this roll up smells very' papery ' then glance to the left and realise your papers on fire!!!!
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Post by jan on Mar 24, 2013 8:54:43 GMT
thanks again for taking the time to post all that (i got through it as am interested) as said (i think) , havn't had experience of meds myself but wondering have you read lionberries posts about her experience lately and she talks with planet dave about effects of food and drinking that make a difference hope it may help
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Post by jan on Mar 24, 2013 8:39:59 GMT
whats a bio feedback unit ? how does that work then ?
succinctly if poss please ;D ;D
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Post by jan on Mar 24, 2013 8:32:41 GMT
Hi Janev The thread was started on Dec19th so it's not a complete orphan. Not that many people go private so the chances of finding someone who knows the named doctors is small - and apart from reporting 'not a bad experience' what can you say? . hi planet dave only just noticed that you had replied to my post in january (took me a while to work out how to negotiate my way around the forum : thanks for reply (i had forgotten i'd written a question ) with regard to dr roz mentioned above, have since found out he's one of the 'good guys' he's involved with addiss and i think he's behind the scenes trying to get things changed in the n.h.s. for us - just thought i'd mention it in case anyone else asks about him
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Post by jan on Mar 22, 2013 16:21:14 GMT
;D dream on - - - ;D ;D ;D - look forward to it
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Post by jan on Mar 22, 2013 16:11:11 GMT
;D would love to if only I could remember all the crazy, stupid things that i've done best part of (my) add I forget all the fuck ups really quick) will try and make notes next time
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Post by jan on Mar 21, 2013 9:23:04 GMT
:)only just noticed your post, missed it somehow or would have replied sooner. I feel for you, as you read in my post i know what your talking about and where your at. Funnily enough things are much better with my daughter at the moment (keeping my fingers crossed as it always tends to be 2 steps forward then 3 staps back!). She has stopped using skunk for nearly 2 months and that has made a huge difference and i have managed to get some help from a few diffferent agencies that have found out about lately. I think what really started the ball rolling in a positive direction was when over the space of a few days she kicked off on a sat night and kicked a hole in my bedroom door (because i wouldn't give her a cigarette!) and a few nights later she came home drunk with a friend and was very verbally abusive and agressive and refused to leave! I realised that things could not continue like that anymore and after going to a families anonymous meeting decided she's got to go! I went to a local service for youth and found out what the process is if i ask her to leave and met a really helpfull guy who has been supporting us ever since. Its not simple when they are over 18 and it also depends where you live. I think me taking this action shocked her a bit, it wasn't done in anger and she could see that I was dead serious. I think this has contributed to her change in attitude and improvement in her behaviour. I'm still in process of sorting it out - I havn't decided if am going to follow through with it yet as her attitude has changed so much and ideally she's better off living at home at her age but even if I do I will still support her as much as poss. All i've ever wanted is for her to take responsibility for herself and her condition I don't expect her to be perfect. Do you live in London? If you do can put you in touch with few agencies/projects that are really helpfull. Please P.M. me if you would like to talk more I would be pleased to help in any way if I can even if you just need to sound off (with no judgement) it always helps to talk to people that been there. xx
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Post by jan on Mar 20, 2013 11:08:33 GMT
Hi Annie, Planet Dave, Roland and Atticus - (hope i've remembered everybody ) I think I met one of you guys at January meeting in the cafe in London (and you gave me your email address and I lost it : and i've also forgotten your name Would just like to say, now its been brought, up thank you so,so, much for creating and running this site XXXX it has made such a difference to my life since I joined in January I can't believe I've never been into computers but this site has changed that and i've been really surprised that talking to people on here has helped sooo much. I don't feel so confused and weird about myself and don't feel that its just me against the world anymore. sorry if that sounds really dramatic and over emotional but its really true. The site works (for me ) on so many different levels and that's before I even take into account all the info on the faqs page which is also amazing Thank you so much, you are amazing
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Post by jan on Mar 20, 2013 8:40:05 GMT
i'm not on meds and know very little . no, actually nothing!, about biology and science but for me i find sugar in any form makes me feel jittery and anxious sometimes after the high i get from it sometimes straight away with no high. Coffee does same, both have got worse as i've got older. I have noticed talking to lots friends that experience this that my male friends don't seem to get a negative effect from coffee but don't know if its just coincidence so may not be same for all males (and they don't have adhd)
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Post by jan on Mar 19, 2013 18:47:36 GMT
Haven't really achieved an awful lot (apart from some marathon Freecell sessions what's that then? i havn't done much either really - now got comfortable living room to chill in and no dishes to wash ( and no competition ) doesn't seem so important anymore. got plans to finish everything when have week off though as bedroom still a pit and kitchen stinks of glue since pulled lino up and keep thinking is it affecting me by breathing in there? and still have to get cooker connected to the gas! have had loads sorting to do for d daughter, meetings and referrals and stuff so havn't been on here much. good luck with the assignments xx (and to L.B. for getting meds dose right xx)
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