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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 20:41:15 GMT
Unfortunately, this article does not cite the research evidence which helped shape the assumptions they are making. Not generating a heated debate but, I've come across many men/boys who have been overlooked because their presentation doesn't fit the Daily Mail's stereotyping of ADHD - hyperactive naughty boys!! The important debate is how do we, collectively, get the issue of poor assessment/dx/treatment provision for all people with ADHD. At the moment Health service provision for adults with ADHD is poor and Camhs comes a very close 2nd this is true, but ofcourse the reasons there is poor assessment & help for females with adhd may (or may not) differ from the reasons behind why males recieve poor assessment & treatment. And those reasons maybe based in biological differences between the sexes & how this effects our experience of adhd, or it maybe to do with the different social gender roles (which could then be intresting to look at cultures where the social contruction of gender varies from the western perspective) or other reasons- not that this (short) article addresses any of that.....
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 20:09:39 GMT
It could do with referencing how the different socialisation between the genders means girls grow up masking it, rather than just noting that we do.
It also doesn't esablish (or comment) on whether the lower self esetem/other mh problems are directly because of being female with adhd or whether it is because of lower/later diagnosis rates (and therefore lower treatment rates).
With regards to women struggling more because of societies expecations of us they forgot the really obvious one that women are much more likely to be the resident single parent, including the resident parent of children with disabilities (as their parents have higher break up rates statisticly speaking) so more likely trapped on a lower income unable to afford help like cleaners etc to make adhd life more managable.
They also havn't commented on hormones & the effect of adhd at variousstages in our lives.
But i guess i could be being alittle pedantic seeing as it is a short article ; )
On the *plus* side women *generally* are better at asking for help and building support networks than men, even if the complexities -which i would term depth- of female friendships take us longer to learn this.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 13:29:52 GMT
I know it's not that straight forward, hense i don't think anyone should be obligated to disclose. It's just tgat be open & helping people be better informed of tge reality is the obvious way people have *fought* prejudice on lots of issues. Online is helpful, but i guess rl gives a more rounded, real picture. I am not open for that specific reason, more because it's who i am & it suits my personality, but the indirect effect is helpful to giving others a genuine glimps of adhd, not the dm bs headlines. Some people definately are ignorant because they choose to be, some just havn't had rl experience & quickly learn to be better informed when i am open about it. Hcp & family can be twats at the best of times, i have had almost allways positive reactions everywhere else. I'd like to be more open IRL, but have had some very negative responses, particularly from people who I thought would be understanding.. . my mother. . and someone I am reasonably close to who has MH problems which we talk about. Neither of them is even open to discuss it with me. It's much easier to talk about my physical and comorbid MH problems. I think my new GP is a non-believer in ADHD. I try to gauge what kind of response I may get. I'm very happy to discuss it, if someone wants to know.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 12:12:00 GMT
I never claimed all offense was enshrined or that people should twist themselves in knots to avoid offendimg others- i quite clearly said the opposite.
It's a bit if basic emotional intelligence that if in interactions with others someone feels offended we try & estalish why, explain no intended hurt, reslove the issue & move forward with an agreedresolution. This isn't allways possible & we have to estimate if we have been reasonable & let it go if the person wont work to a resolution. negotiation, listening to each other, considering others feelings is a basic part of living in a civilised society. Non violent communication is a great way of using this is people struggle with this.
The stephen fry quote is v often banded about as a way of excusing obviously hurtful behaviour- including the ism's, including on here, which is not what he meant. Hiding behind that quote or similar as an excuse to not take responsibility for hurting others is not helpful to open discussion that can support and inform people who come here looking for help and acceptance, and it wont help anyone who tries to use it in rl either. It's not so straight forward tl judge online, and for many with adhd &comorbids social intrraction maybe more difficult, but it's a basic part of interacting socialy that we try and be considerate to others.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 11:42:54 GMT
Maybe rl stuff too? I am not saying anyone should have to do this but....
i allways find being v open & honest about my adhd warrents v positive effects. I have had people be amazed i have it- which leads to a gemtle informative convo of the myths of adhd & helps educate people. For me this is important as i have two girls under assessment for it & i want them to see me being comfortable & proud of all of who i am, adhd included.
It's a bit like anything else i guess, if we arn't open about the reality of adhd then the daily mail bs myths take hold & people have nothing to compare it to. I do understand that not everyone is comfortable being open, so no one should feel pressured to be open about it, but without standing up for our adhd things wont change either.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 11:20:52 GMT
Just to add, i guess for me it helps that i don't care what others think & am v happy with being an under achiever. I have turned down promotions, training courses, even chose to go to an average uni rather than the v good ones i got into easily. I am not interested in others ideas of success & achievment. I grew up in a v abusive household and was desperately unhappy as a kid, my big dream was allways to have a secure & happy family home & i have a great relationship & am a great mum. I love work, study, creative pursuits- but only for me, not for achievements sake which feels rather empty to me. I guess it helps that i am a naturally non competitive person & don't compare myself to others.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 11:11:04 GMT
I am perfectly comfortable with my adhd, i see it as part of whom i am & am positive about nd strengths it brings. I have a severe dx & it definately effects me considerabley but i guess as an adult i have learned to adapt my life to emphasis the strengths & diminish the weaknesses, as all adults do, i just have a disability that defines said weaknesses. It is incredibley hard work though, and accepting my limits is important for me- although i have physical disabilities also so this is combined effect.
Right now my kids are in the middle of assessments that will include adhd, along with alot of other developmental disabilities. It is very tough seeing how much they are currently dis-abled by their conditions, school etc are being great and have done everything we ask so currently it *appears* to be that they are limited by their disabilities as opposed to the enviroment dis-abling them. It's really hard & i wish i could wave a magic wand & get rid of how tiring, tough & stressful dealing with life is for them- but from what i am told this is the worst age for kids with dds & i am focusing on how i will be in the best position to understand & help them so hopefully their conditions will be more of a positive earlier than my experience.
I know i would be crushed if anyone who loved me wish away my adhd, or resented my adhd traits or didn't like that part of who i am. Luckily the people who love me love everything about me, amd accept me as i am.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 9:23:52 GMT
There are lots of things considered offensive in our society that are recognised to be the fault of the person offending not the person taking offense- dismissing someones hurt with a sound bite doesn't account for our equalities law and all things it makes unnacceptable and *legally offensive*. Disabilism, racism, sexism, homaphobia,etc are all offensive and notfault of the person offended. Even pregnant and nursing mothers are protected under this law. It's an easy way out to claim anyone offended is at fault for their feeling, and even more of an excuse to quote stephen fry, but the reality is our laws say otherwise.
We can't help people taking offense at every little thing and second guess ourselves 24/7 but we can consider others feelings and aim to be respectful based on what we know are obviously offensive things as outlines in the equalities act, even if we don't get other social norms & interaction rules. If someone is hurt or offended don't act indignant & self righteous, jst reflect & see if you cd behave more kindly in future, if you don't feel you can at all just let it go & don't beat yourself up.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 7:53:46 GMT
in human biology, the startle reflex in babies is called the Moro reflex but i do think our startle reflex issues could be related esp as there's good evidence about people who have this startle response (and indeed tics) feeling more comfortable with eg weighted blankets. which is a similar thing to babies and the lack of swaddle i remember reading some stuff about alternative therapies for duspraxia etc that was based on the idea that people with dds have never had their primative reflexes 'resolved' or something like that,but all the science involved debunked it. I think needing heavier blankets etc is more likely attributed to sensory issues, hypersensitity & rls. I wouldn't be surprised if babies who take longer to loose the startle reflex are also hs (based on my sample study of two ; ) so it appears like a link, but not necessarily a direct one to the reflex itself iyswim saying that, i am unsure the science on babies primative reflexes is 100% spot on- was discussing this with ots etc recently as they take hige history for my girls, and problems latching are noted (some vague possible links to dyspraxia & spd), so anyways apparantly according to every bit of science going how a baby latches onto the breast is the exact same primative reflex for all- basicly their jaw will pull upwards- my pair did the opposite & pulled their top gum down- which only took 4.5 wks of dripping blood, mastotis, pus & v unhappy babies amd around 7 bf councilors/lactation specialists to figure out- and every specialist i have seen/spoken too (including some of the countries top lactation cobsultants) swear this is compleatly impossible & they have never seen it before. I v much doubt my kids are the only ones who have their primative reflexes miss-wired, so am somewhat sceptical of the v interesting research on human primative reflexes. That said, it is a v v long time since i read it all- i think it was teen yrs i binge read it all, so maybe different now.
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Post by blaze on Feb 11, 2016 11:38:20 GMT
Strattera is brillant ime
stimulants are v bad for me
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Post by blaze on Feb 11, 2016 11:34:24 GMT
No- daily mail
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Post by blaze on Feb 11, 2016 9:32:37 GMT
It's only the dm who say adhd is a modern disorder, or the twunts who read it
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Post by blaze on Feb 11, 2016 9:31:04 GMT
Op it was a joke- startle reflex is something that only occurs in babies, techniqually speaking. What you are describing could be hyper semstivity or being easily startled but can't be startle reflex in the medical meaning of the term
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 19:18:12 GMT
Particia quinn? I have her book gender issues & adhd- v worthwhile read. But i don't think there's much that hells with pmt issues in it, other than explaintion ofwhy, if i rember correctly.
If stimulant meds work it's not uncommon to have a higher dose for the week coming up to your period- but doesn't work for strattera.
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 16:42:04 GMT
This is on a few other threads so you may find helpful suggestions if you look through those.
I find contraceptive yazmin works well for me- it's designed for pmdd. And just accepting that for a few daus each month i will be more reactive, more scatty etc & ajusting my expectations acordingly.
Most contraceptives don't erradace periods altogether btw, most just make them less exteeme, more preducable etc
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 16:37:58 GMT
I'm not sure but my general prejudice seems to be that the whole coocoo spectrum is very masculine. But it's not that emotional football and male thing. My image of ADHD is extreme sports, ambulance drivers and firemen. Asperger is more like nature science and stuff like that. However it's very far from typical gender identity. But I wouldn't say that male homosexuality is less masculine than male heterosexuality, nor that female homosexuality is less feminine than female heterosexuality. Any way, we're appearantly less bound by standard concepts of sexuality and identity. I personally can't identify with any sexual or gender identity. I'm pretty much mainstream but I don't feel heterosexual and I don't feel male. Normal people are social beings, we're not... We may be extraverted or introverted but we don't automatically define ourselves socially. A popular song isn't necessarilly a good song. Let's say that gender identity is a social construction... Social constructions are very real and our society is built upon them, but I don't believe we feel them like normal people do. The positive side of this is that we're more free to make our own personal choices, but we'll never really fit in. *we* are not some homogenous group with exact same experiences. Please don't speak on my behalf like that, it's not hellful for anyone. I am vary social person, as a natural introvert i need alone time for grounding & recharging but i love spdnding time with others & have great friends & do well socially. Ime i don't think 'fitting in' is a real concept past a certain age- people just *are* and make varrying connections without worrying about how they do or don't fit. I guess personally i have found this more true since late twentys, more so once i had my kids.
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 16:31:31 GMT
Dissociation involves forgeting afterwards what you have done- so if you don't remember any of what you have read/ if there's a blank/don't remember where you are or why you are reading or how you got there etc that would indicate dissociation (which is totally normal in some amount) but hyperfocus would involve remembering - atleast as much as normal & not loosing chuncks of time
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 16:26:16 GMT
Startle reflex is a primative reflux in babies where they startle & wake themselves up if not held snuggly. Normally outgrown by the end of the four trimester- if you're still suffering with this you might want to see dr..... or try a tight swaddle ; )
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 11:55:13 GMT
hope you feel better soon blaze Thanks, me & kids have had flu for the first times ever- never seen my kids sick before!!- i have coughed & puked so much i tore a muscle in my side : ( which is horrid.
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 10:29:32 GMT
With regards to adhd & pd cross over- i think it's small, nuerodevelppmental disorders are comorbid with other dds, then traditionally thought of nuerotic mh illnesses, then bipolar, then pds down on the list. Physical problems are in their too, like cfs & hypermobility, & atachment disorders, but the pd is lower. It's rare anyone have one condition in isolation though.
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Post by blaze on Feb 9, 2016 10:09:03 GMT
I got bored after a couple of posts....sorry..... tired, ill & off my medsbr] cm - i don't have professional experience of npd, but personal. My mother in particular is v classic npd, my father heavily narsassitic but less disordered & less obviously abusive & my inlaws in line with my father (i guess being brought up by these people is something oh & i recognised in each other, & try v hard not to replocate)
You would be v hard pushed to find people who specialise in working woth npd as most people with npd never come forward for treatment as they believe they are right & everyone else wrong.
Narsassism as a trait itself is present in most people to varrying degrees, and many psychs etc will tell you that having no narsassism is not healthy either. Alice millers descriptions of grandiousity as a defense against feelings is a helpful way to look at it if you are looking at a general level of narssasim, but it's important to be warry of the more extreems-narsassitic abusers are normally considered the most capable at not getting caight & the most difficult for victims to recover from.
I have alot of expreruence of worling with people woth other pds- bpd, avoidant & dependant most commonly.
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Post by blaze on Jan 30, 2016 17:29:03 GMT
blaze , yes thats basically what the second episode was all about! How events or lack of sensory input before the age of 2 has an effect on the wiring of the brain. I don't know much about this at all, and would love to learn more. I've always been under the impression that I was just born with it, inherited from my dad, but Im now beginning to realise that thats a pretty naive way of looking at it! I had a real big problems with ear infections when I was a child - had my first one at 3 weeks old - literally the only thing I can think of that may have effected things. I suppose I'm just trying to piece together why I am how I am. I was only diagnosed last year so still learning about all of this! it's likely you were born with a significant predisposition to it, the combination of factors that activate it are often likely *minor* in comparission to the weight of genetics, and in reality there are allways going to be some combination of varrying factors within pregnancy, birth & first few years to activate whatever underlying genetic problems that are passed down. Children arn't born in a vacume, and it's impossible to provide the perfect developmental enviroment - i suspect it often takes very little to switch on underlying genetic conditions, much if which wont be predictable or preventable so the genetic part tends to be whats focused on as the *reason*.
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Post by blaze on Jan 29, 2016 21:57:21 GMT
I havn't seen it.
But re adhd bad press etc- i think genetic links are often misunderstood- the explaination i have allways been giveb by several of my adhd psychs now is that the genetic component needs *switched on* or *activated* by some other factor. V prem births or severe oxygen deprivation at birth are considered the most known factor that activates the genetic comonent of developmental disorders but there could be many other factors, or combination offactors. Full term infants brains are only around 25% developed at birth, the first few weeks & months could carry many events that combine together to switch on genes.
This is believed to be how many neurological disorders occur btw, not just adhd or other developemental disorders but also a varriety of mh problems - as in the genetic component needs switched. In theory we cd all habe had a huge varriety kf factors that switched on our adhd gene & the variouscombos we all have.
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Post by blaze on Jan 29, 2016 21:46:59 GMT
I have it, and disgraphia
i don't find either an issue really (both severe dx if i rember right) but i did in uni & now tend not to deal with things they wd effect (bills etc) because i don't deal with that stuff anyways due to organisation being so impossible for me. I also don't waste effort to moderate it places like here where disability is supposed to be accepted, which leaves energy for hyperfocing enough to moderate it for professional or formal matters.
I appriciate that it only becomes a non issue for me because my amazing oh deals with what i can't & no doubt will present as tougher at different stages (as my kids are older & need homework help for example). I also appriciate that shrugging off others petty criticism of disability related typos etc isn't so natural to everyone.
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Post by blaze on Jan 28, 2016 16:57:27 GMT
Adhders *generally* fit the highly senstive person criteria, which influences mood in ways not allways obvious.
For anyone female on this thread bear in mind the varrying effects of hormones. Even v well controlled contraceptive that works v well for me i have a wk or so of feeling v v depressed, paranoid, self concious, spacey, etc with huge highs of hyperactivity, mood etc following & i need to reassure myself alot its fricken hormones.
Premenstraul depressive disorder is much better recognised these days & premenstral psychosis is becoming accepted in some circ
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Post by blaze on Jan 28, 2016 16:47:55 GMT
Interesting. . .I don't understand why people would watch films/read books more than once. . .and I had a flatmate who would watch comedy shows over and over and would still laugh at the jokes, even though he knew them by heart. . .Why? My attitude for most things is I've done that - next! i am the opposite, i reread/watch things over & over, mainly because i can't pay attension to things i am not familar with. I also have allways been someone who succeeds breasily at things that come easily to me & don't attempt things i don't instinctively *get*. Although ofcourse not with everything, being that iam a consistantly inconsistant adhder & all.
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Post by blaze on Jan 22, 2016 11:24:59 GMT
I am in york but nothing here so they refered me out of area to wakefield who have been lovely. I have a relatively simple case though -several previous dx, just wanting to return to stratrera that gpcan prescribe so every 6mths i go to wakefield for review & thats it.
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Post by blaze on Jan 22, 2016 11:12:21 GMT
Yes me too, and both my girls.
i sleep with two huge duvets plus a third on my legs, a pregnancy pillow & giant teddy dog.
My girls have weighted blankets from cheap disability aids.com. we do some of the squeeze type exercises before bedalso- piling lillows ontop & leaning on them, swaddling with big blankets etc.
if anyone can sow i have heard from other mums of kids with developmemtal disabilities that they made their own weighted blankets/lap lads etc
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Post by blaze on Jan 22, 2016 10:35:43 GMT
I have both ptsd & adhd diagnosis, although ptsd hasn't been an issue for along time.
I sort of see where your dr is coming from- when my ptsd was untreated my adhd was much much worse & it would have been difficult to differentiate what was causing what exactly- but my pysch (private child truama specialist not adhd pysch) also spoke about ddnos for me, never officicialy dx or put on medical records though.
It's hard to think clearly today so bare with me.... once i had some consistant effect therapy for ptsd the more extreem spaciness, procrastination etc *resolved* back down to adhd levels (which according to my med records is severe). But the adhd was still persistantly clearly there.
I had my adhd before ptsd one, and was settled taking strattera & a bump up of ritilin on work days, and i continued to take these meds throughout therapy. Neither psych dusputed dx or treatment from the other, but being nhs & private they didn't work together either & as i didn't take meds for ptsd (other than diaz occassionally) they didn't need to communicate.
You might want to look up developmental truama disorder, it's been proposed to dsm a couple of times to cover the adhd symptons truama can create (not being accepted yet doesn't mean too much, many inuse dx arn't im dsm yet like spd & cptsd etc). I guess this is perhaps the issue your psych is thinking of- where your cross over lies, &if ptsd symptoms were resolved would you still present with enough adhd symptoms to qualify for a dx ( because dx are only given whensymptoms cause a negative effect on day to day functioning)
*testing* by coming off ads that work for you sounds negligent though- some truama therapy would be a better *test* if dr feels one is necessary.
I am not sure what would be a helpful way forward for you. Stimulants themselves can increase anxiety so first line of treatment may also be of risk to you. Maybe if you know enough about adhd/ptsd/dtd you might beable to idenify where which symptons come from & go back with that. Maybe asking for a second opinion may help? You cd ask dr to confer with someone more experienced? Do you have pysch involved with ptsd? Could they offer opinion- meet with adhd assesor?
Do you have support for yourself? Hoes your hv? Cd you access homestart volenteer? Mind support group/befriender/counciling/advocate? Do you have sure start centre?
Hope it all gets sorted safely, gd luck
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Post by blaze on Dec 29, 2015 9:50:53 GMT
Op- overbearing often, but not allways, equals narsassitic. You might want to google npd mothers and see if you identify & what coping stratagies you can impliment. Your parents relationship sounds like it fits the npd mum/enabler dad dynamic also.
Moving out asap also would make senseso any steps you can take in that direction maybe helpful. Living with others may not be ideal but atleast you can close your door & have your room how you like.
Can you speak to disability support staff for help with studying/organising studying? They can maybe get a mentor and atleast extra time/your own for exams.
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