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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 20:02:41 GMT
I found non violent communication really helpful for *changing* the harsher bluntness i could come out with
i can't think before i speak, but reading the above made me question the judgements communicated with word choice. I adapted to thinking differently, seeing things differently, and naturally thinking differently meant i spoke differently- so it didn't matter that i couldn't ever effect my impulse control because what came out of my mouth was much less likely to offend others. Generally ofcourse, i still have my moments, or people who rub me up the wrong way may find i react sharply- i don't react well to narasistism & dislike others assuming they can tell me what i need- but generally i find i get along withmost people these days, except my inlaws ofcourse ; )
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 19:47:28 GMT
Craigj My mother only wants to believe her version of things. She's clearly ADHD but narcissistic with it, and won't have the stigma associated with such a diagnosis. It was my brother and my wife who got me diagnosed along with school docs and other corroborative evidence. I think it was too obvious and overwhelming in the end for the psyches to deny it. npd mother here as well- who also liked to pimp me out to her circle of peado affairs, despite being a childrens sw- so op life is torture for many of us- doesn't mean you can't find a way through & make something out of it. I have my own happy safe family now. Getting the correct diagnosis is a startimg point to getting the correct help.
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 19:40:20 GMT
I am not a long standing or terribley involved member here, and certainly the details of this are over my head, but well there's a fair bit that's obvious from various threads i have been on also.....
but that aside as pp has pointed out other members may have other things toadd- after one thread censored heavilyas * women's experience of adhd had already been done so we should shut up already* i recueved a good bye pm (as i am sure other did) from someone who obviously got a huge amount of support from this forum, and contributed even more support & knowledge & hope to others. Imo it is a damn shame that this person (and possibley others) leave because of what very much appeared to be tolerated sexism. Ironicly the same person censoring that thread jumped down my throat for my apparent *censoring* another poster when i politely pointed out their comments could be disablist under the context & could hurt other posters.
Surely any charity, especially one for disabilities, should have a basic guideline (written or otherwise) of respecting all protected groups under the equalities act. I appriciate these may be *teeny* infractions but they caused atleast one person to feel unsafe & leave- surely like pp says it wouldn't be much to ask that there is some form of clarification that sexism wont be tolerated- it shouldn't need said, but looks like it does in light of this.
I guess this may not be terribley relevant given that there's obviously alot gone on that i don't know about but as pp is suggesting others should add this particular event left a nasty taste & i am guessing to anyone who is vulnerable & at risk could have had a much more serious effect.
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 12:40:24 GMT
Last OT from me. . blaze. . I sublux constantly and often dislocate in my sleep, or getting dressed, or turning off a light. . I also do Pilates, but whenever there's a new instructor they see how well I'm doing with some exercises and can't understand why I find it difficult to stand, can't raise my arms above my head and can't support my body weight on my arms I also have problems standing and sitting still. . I walk a lot and prefer to pace if I have to stand. I'm getting to see a specialist physio next week. The ones I saw at UCLH were brilliant! good luck. I used to see a specialist rhumatology physio back in aberdeen who was amazing- i learned so much more from her about how to manage this than from all other physios, pain clinic, ots, rhymatologists etc
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 11:56:12 GMT
re: autism. . it's great that it's become accepted and is treated sympathetically. when I was being assessed for ASD... they concluded that I have significant austistic traits, but not enough for a dx hello vagueandrandom staying OT for a moment... i think autism has some acceptance, but generally superficial understanding. an increasing number of people get that it's something to do with sensory issues, expect that they aren't going to understand behaviour because it's completely "other" and accept that autistic people are really different. i find a mix of guenine understandimg & just superficial acceptance - but that's from pov of my kids being under assessment for dds. I imagine that may be different for adults. There was something- and i would have thought it was here???- about gates or face book or one of those big corporatoons actively recruiting people with asd. I didn't read much of it but intresting from an intergration pov. i see that the Employable Me series is part of a wider Autism season on BBC1, and there are a number of other programmes including some pulled from the archives. i watched this Horizon documentary Living With Autism yesterday, and there's a bit in it where Uta Frith talks with Simon Baron Cohen (who was once her PhD student!) about the autism spectrum, and how it is decided whether to give someone a diagnosis or not. which might be helpful. in terms of big picture, societal level, i don't think there's much genuine acceptance of difference or integration of disability in general or of neurodiversity in particular, however *acceptable* or instantly recognisable its face. some things are moving forwards, and some things are moving backwards; but things are better than they were. it seems to take for ever, some things seem almost instant but may have been years in the making. often it's about building relationships, telling stories, getting information out there one conversation, one article, one presentation, one conference at a time. and it's great when we can be agents of change - not just fitting in with others' ideas or giving a snippet of our lives used to add colour to an article, but setting the framework of the conversation, telling our stories our ways, getting across something of our lived experience. giving myself brownie points for segue back to original topic
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 11:46:24 GMT
Going off topic slightly to reply to blaze . . . re: autism. . it's great that it's become accepted and is treated sympathetically. In my own experience, my mother couldn't have been more supportive and spoke to the consultant for an hour on the phone when I was being assessed for ASD. When they concluded that I have significant austistic traits, but not enough for a dx, but scored in the clinical range for ADHD, she wouldn't (and still won't) talk about it and was very resistant to filling in the observer questionnaire when I finally got my assessment. As you know, I also have eds hypermobility and I'm lucky that my pain is manageable. But people think I'm being awkward when I ask for help reaching for things, or when I was on a plane last week the crew insisted that I put my coat and bag in the overhead locker instead of under the seat, which I can't do without risking dislocating my shoulders. I look fit and healthy, I go to the gym and was made to feel like an awkward cow when I said that they'd have to put stuff in the locker for me. I then had to ask a stranger to get it out at the end of the flight (crew are at doors then) i agree it's great autism is more accepted these days, but i guess it's the general frustration of why not other dds- and i know it's not that simple & it takes time for knowledge to filter down but it can still be irritating. I was reading something about a campaign in scotlamd for parents of kids with autism to automaticly get blue badges- anyone can actually apply with relevant medical backing if they meet the criteria but they parents starting this obviously missed that point.....- but my first though was why just autism- why not all dds because there will be some kids with other dds who wd benefit more, or need more. Anyways, thats v off topic but just an illustration of how certain conditions get more acceptance and recognition than others, not that it's clear cut between hidden disabilities being ignored & *visable* ones understood. And i totally identify with the hypermobility problems. I have been significantly dis-abled by this in the past (bed bound, morphine& diaz etc) but in some ways it's worse when like now it is managable. I swim, lift weoghts, do advanced pilates, an hr or so of physio daily & lift heavy kids & am on my feet constantly at work- but i also take alot of meds to beable to cope with the pain, many of my joints sublax many times a day, and theres certain things i can't do- like sitting properly at a table or standing still in a que (knees lock badly) & simple things like chopping food can dislocate my fingers but it is v hard to get any understanding of that or the recognition of the effort & cost of staying fit & well in the first place. Something as simlle as a bad bug can leave me a gd six mths worth of rebuilding the stregnth i loose in a few days ill in bed. Slipping down one step, bending funny, throwing up & even sneezing have caused dislocations that require ambulance & morphine drips & i have even woken up with a dislocated jaw because of sleeping funny. Thats before all the many additional problems that lack of collegen comes with. It's a bitch. Majorly off topic op, hope you don't mind
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Post by blaze on Mar 28, 2016 8:26:16 GMT
the disabilities that are not visible fully are often considered lightly or less severely than the visible ones. sorry if my comment hit any nerve [br no nerve, just the assumption that all physical disabilities are visable/taken more seriously isn't accurate or helpful, and this misinformation needs highlighted every bit as the ways in which adhd is stigmatised. I am not sold on the idea that visable disablities are considered more severe/taken more seriously either. This is a huge generalisation and it will depend so much on perspectives. I very much find my physical disabilities are dismissed- i have used disabled toilets when pain is unmanagable & been snapped at by by standers about how they are for people in wheel chairs, and had the same happen when i have had my kids with me & if i explain they have spd it's accepted, explain i have hmjs/chronic pain etc they continue to berate me. Hidden physical disabilities ime recieve much poorer treatment/acceptance/understanding than nuero developmental disorders/mh problems/learning disabilities. But then thats just my experience so far. Other than v ignoranr uni professors, the odd ideot gp, and a few other ignorant comments & the likes of dm (who are seriously ignorant on many issues so i don't give them a second thought) have generally found my adhd taken seriously. So i don't think it's possible to make sweaping statements. I guess for me because i work in mh i find mh problems mostly taken seriously- but then i have worked with people who have several complex dx so i may find those who never go through the hospital system arn't treated with the same acceptance. Cancer isn't visable but taken seriously- recieves more attention than most illnesses especially when it comes to charity fund raising. Autism seems to be the recognised catch all at mo (every time my kids melt down in public passerbys say this & nod under standingly- too much hastle to explain that while a referal for pda is being consodered their main dx will likely be adhd-once cahms referal goes through- & spd) but everyone, even hcp jump straight to autism-with alot of sympathy. The number of times i have delt with huge incidents through work with police etc & you just mention schizophrenia as the dx & suddenly theres no recriminations- so i think it often depends on the condition as well, not specifically of it's visable or not.
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Post by blaze on Mar 27, 2016 19:51:40 GMT
there are special alowences, paarking spots and help for less phisically capable people. people whose injuries and conditions are visible. but what about those conditions that arent visible, those who get misplaced and pushed to aside because no one can see our handicap. WE ARE DIFFERENT AND DESERVE TO BE UNDERSTOOD: THAT IS A MOVIE. Legally reasonable adjustments within employment and education exist for all disabilities & parking spaces/blue badges exist for people who would be unable to access normal daily activities without them- it isn't just for those with physical disabilities or for everyone with physical disabilities- it's judged on the dis-abling effect of their condition & if being nearer to shops etc en-able them to access them. If someone's disability, physical, visable or otherwise doesn't make it impossible to access a shop or resteraunt from a *normal* parking space then they don't need them- it's not based on condition. there are also many many physical disabilities that are also hidden disabilities. Personally i come accross much more stigma & lack of understanding for my hidden physical disabilities than for my (severe) adhd (as an adult atleast)
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Post by blaze on Mar 27, 2016 19:33:53 GMT
There's lots that comes naturally to me- just nothing practical. Anything instonctive, emotional, creative comes v naturally to me
i just say my brains mis-wired. That works fine for me as people with adhd will struggle with different things and have different innate strengths. Any other metaphor is too limiting, we don't have the same experience of living with adhd.
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Post by blaze on Mar 27, 2016 19:28:27 GMT
The problem with 30 cuts only being for new claims (other than the obvious) is the if someone on an existing claim has it stopped either through the claiment's mistake, dwp mistake, or the person becoming well enough to work for a short period of time & not claim then the restarted claim will work as a new one & be 30 less.
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Post by blaze on Mar 26, 2016 12:24:41 GMT
I think they're still cutting ESA by £30. . Just no PIP cuts any more. this, for the moment They were never going to cut both though, not right now. They suggest cutting both and everyone goes aaahhhh followed by an announcement that that they will just cut one & everyone goes phew that's ok- because they don't realise they have been had. It means the gov can claim they are standing by people with disabilities & the general public buy it because they can't see through the con.
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Post by blaze on Mar 23, 2016 8:06:52 GMT
I don't respond properly to anasethics because of my hypermobility syndrom anyways so can't comment directly on that, but after having one tooth removed with failed anasethic -oouch-i had a second done under gas & air sedation so you cd ask to be refered for that
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Post by blaze on Mar 19, 2016 12:46:52 GMT
I know i am reserecting an old thread, but it seems more apt as the comiserating fits right in with this so i feel safer posting on this thread than starting a new one
so anyone join me in commisterating/crying over the new budget?? Hand holding needed.
we are again techniqually teeny better off but i am so worried for my kids future.
And then there is everyone, already screwed & screwed by everything the bastards have done (listed in this thread plenty) screwed yet again.
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home ed
Mar 19, 2016 12:36:44 GMT
via mobile
Post by blaze on Mar 19, 2016 12:36:44 GMT
That's not what i asked, like i said i already am a member of a parenting forum- which is a much better place for info about echp & home ed (and most parents seem to be professionals in that field themselves) i am not asking about that- i was asking for experiences of parents with adhd who home ed, just their experience of it, if there is anyone here who home eds, thats all.
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home ed
Mar 18, 2016 8:47:57 GMT
via mobile
Post by blaze on Mar 18, 2016 8:47:57 GMT
I know how to organise home ed, i am a member of a natural parenting group & mamy home ed- but they don't have adhd themselves. I was woundering if anyone here does & how it works for them. They are also v pro home ed, into the ethos, it's the first choice, where as i don't want to willingly withdraw them.
we are in the middle of echp process, but i appear to have two school refusers on my hands & may end up with no choice.
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home ed
Mar 18, 2016 8:04:03 GMT
via mobile
Post by blaze on Mar 18, 2016 8:04:03 GMT
Does anyone home educate? By choice or not? Could you tell me about it?
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Post by blaze on Mar 13, 2016 8:38:42 GMT
Re sickness - you shd allways eat before you take it, & side effect meds like omeprazol can be used if the sickness persists- but you shd ask dr about this. And you can allways call them while waiting for your appoint ote author="Gjc" source="/post/97388/thread" timestamp="1457527323"]Hi I've been on atomoxetine now for four weeks goin from 18mg to 60mg.i was originally on 90 concert class but was told thT wasn't working so I've been put on these.Thoughout the 4 was I've been feeling really sick and have been getting hot/cold sweats which isn't nice but I'm trying stick it out until my review nxt wk.My question is does Atomoxetine stopped diazepam from working as I do suffer from anxiety and I am only on a low dose of diazepam 2mg twice daily which I personally feel isn't enough for my anxiety and have been taking a couple more than prescribed but they don't seem to be working all??Ive searched for the answer to my question-Does atomoxetine stop diazepam from working and have no luck in getting an answer.If anyone knows I'd really appreciate it if they would let me know,thanx? [/quote]
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Post by blaze on Mar 13, 2016 8:36:29 GMT
Actually i find the compleate opposire from what you have said here, people have varrying responses to meds so it's not helpful to take about yours as if absolute. Strattera is much milder, calmer med for me than any stimulant. Hi I've been on atomoxetine now for four weeks goin from 18mg to 60mg.i was originally on 90 concert class but was told thT wasn't working so I've been put on these.Thoughout the 4 was I've been feeling really sick and have been getting hot/cold sweats which isn't nice but I'm trying stick it out until my review nxt wk.My question is does Atomoxetine stopped diazepam from working as I do suffer from anxiety and I am only on a low dose of diazepam 2mg twice daily which I personally feel isn't enough for my anxiety and have been taking a couple more than prescribed but they don't seem to be working all??Ive searched for the answer to my question-Does atomoxetine stop diazepam from working and have no luck in getting an answer.If anyone knows I'd really appreciate it if they would let me know,thanx? Just remember that you have added a new medication it's going to take time to settle down.. Strattera more harsh than concerta.. Concerta more subtle and gentle. Where as strattera is more in your face, you will know there's something going you will warm and irritability.. By a word of caution when you are on strattera it would not take too much for you to have an altercation with someone so be careful...
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Post by blaze on Mar 13, 2016 8:33:11 GMT
As i have repeatedly told you i can't post links, you can google the names i postedabove if you want to here the other side, however you don't come accross like you do.
The organisations you have posted are, like many, credible in some ways but not in others. Many are still.old boys clubs and that tends to massively sqew perspectives and amenisty carry an immoral rep amoung many.
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Post by blaze on Mar 11, 2016 7:38:57 GMT
As i had said several times already to yourself i can't post links on my phone, and most of my study was done a while back so it's not something i remember every single link for.
However generally julie bindel & liz kellys (london met university - should beable to find details from their) are generally used to show how legalisation & decriminalisation in other countries put more (primarily) women (and children) at risk due to the increases in organised crimes assissiated with sex industry, more sexualised violence, increased victimisation & no decrease in stigma for prodtitutes (which means many choose to remain working *underground* so makes the work involved in chamging legilation pointless) so effectovely benefiting the men who own brothels & the gov taxation only.
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Post by blaze on Mar 10, 2016 17:25:31 GMT
It's not prejudice to compleate required training.
The exhausting comment is rude and obnoxious.
In countries where the nordic method is used crimes against prostitutes increases. In the likes of germany & australia & amsterdam where it is fully legalised the crimes against prositutes has increased (as has related crimes like drugs etc) and some are lookong at steps to change their laws back again. And ofcourse the people who profit from lefalisation are mostly male, both punters & owners of the likes of germanus super brothels.
There is a huge huge gender inbalance. Women's bodies shd not be a comodity- and in the uk it is illegal to *buy* a womans womb to grow a child or *buy* a wife in the literal sense. The idea that a man has the right to buy a womens body or buy access to her body is one we need to move away from, not encorage, it just increases rape culture and increases women's vulnrrability, and it effects how all women are treated, not just sex workers.
There are many things that have been around forever-it's a cop out when this arguement is used- child abuse, rape and murder are all illegal yet have allways been around.
How things work at present isn't ok, but that doesn't mean decrim or legalisation are the correct steps.
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Post by blaze on Mar 9, 2016 18:36:39 GMT
It's a long time since i did training on this, so i don't remember sources, but decade of working with kids in care/abuser survivors etc so did yrly child protection training + many related training/reading & heard that repeated frequently.
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Post by blaze on Mar 9, 2016 10:33:45 GMT
Something like 90% of sex workers are ex care kids & around 80-90% of care kids are sexually abused at some point in their lives. Collecting taxes of off their revicitimisation effectively makes our society the pimp. The only moral way of doing this would be to ensure every single penny went straight back into helping them out of this situation, prpviding counciling, real help. But that wouldn't happen, & actually we cd put this help in place now if anyone cared, i doubt the supposed protections of decriminalisation wd actualy translate to real protection in the real world. Capilitalism of sexism isn't something i cd justify voting for, just doesn't sit right.
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Post by blaze on Mar 8, 2016 13:15:47 GMT
I am in york
Gp has been fine, not great but not bad at all. We moved down a few yrs back, i was off meds as my twins were still nursing, but gp sorted out referall/funding to wakefield who have been great. Had to be rediagnosed all over again (third to date) but they trusted my knoweldge of what i wanted to take & agreed to everything. Haven't had a letter about my 6 mth review 9 mths since last one..... but that doesn't bother me if meds keep coming.
Can you change gps? Or practice altogether? I intentionally chose my kids gp as she previously worked with cahms& currently we are in the middle of echp for my girls- this gp has been amazing, so i choose to call/see her if i need to.
One great gp & two great adhd psychs (plus another private one) back in aberdeen also- so there are definately some around. You cd ask your gp's receptionist if any gps have experience of adult adhd or ask new gp practice the same thing.
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News
Mar 8, 2016 13:05:16 GMT
via mobile
Post by blaze on Mar 8, 2016 13:05:16 GMT
I don't think anyone can say for sure what his outburst is- adhd has a cross over with biopolar etc, perhaps they are assessing him for pyschosis.
it's really really tough finding the right place at the right time for someone needing help (i once worked with a teenylittle 11 yrold who had spent 9mthsin a adult secure unit as there was simpley no space anywhere, this kid then prpceeded to throw a tv at a member of staff, set a bathroom & himself on fire & jumped out of the smashed window on the second floor, so i understand why they struggled to fi d somewhere to take him) so it's maybe a case of this being the physically safest place at the time- however not finding the correct placement/support within a reasonable length of time is beyond out of order.
Maybe procrastination does help creativity for some, i wdn't knock that writters experience of it. I have a feeling that procrastination maybe a v different experience for nt's compared to what we get stuck with though
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Post by blaze on Feb 19, 2016 14:28:13 GMT
Thanks for explaintion
i don't think i am that rare though, like i said it was three pyschs i personally saw around then, and i also worked as mh recovery worker soon enough after & all the pyschs etc i dealt with were accepting (i am v open about it) and i also spent alot of time on (national & world wide) abuse survivor forums around that time and spoke to several other people with adhd as one of their many dx & no one brought up problems having it accepted/recognised.
I guess thats the thing though, those of us who have positive experiemces of dx don't come online to talk about it or lpok for support to address not being listenedto etc.
And yes lucky perhaps, but then every dxi have says severe & i have a variety of co-morbids so i maybe got greater recognitoon due to that, which isn't exactly lucky. It's not really a word that shd be applied to others lives.
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Post by blaze on Feb 19, 2016 11:01:39 GMT
Side note but why do you say adult adhd has only been recognised in the last 7-8 yrs?
I had an adult dx nearly 15yrs ago, from a cobsultant psych not adhd specialist (but with specialist interest due to his owe adult dx of adhd) and that was in an area that still didn't have a specialist adhd until for kids let alone adults at the point i left three yrs ago. I was then treated by another consultant pysch who said he had several adult patients with adhd dx (when we discussed his experiemce of med combos, nothing unprofessional). Admittedly my ss records say i had a private adhd dx as a kid but medical records don't show this.
All of the literature i read at the time wasn't new, had private (american if it makes a difference) truama pysch be totally non plussed about adult adhd dx when we discussed it, he point out high comorbidity of adhd & other mh problems in adults (ptsd at the time) & the student disability advisor was familar with it, as were rhymetotolgy, pain climic consultants etc that i saw then for ed/hmjs- as there is a high cross over (and that is considered a much newer recognised disorder & certainly one i find people know nothing about, not even the name) & ot department at work plus my own managers weren't surprised at adult dx.
I get it's not as well recognised/treated as it shd be- but why 7-8yr (think thats what you said....) ago specificly, especially when in a teeny corner of the country i found plenty of recognition nearly 15yrs ago(although limited understanding in somerespects), especially somewhere that still doesn't even have the funding/time/knoweldge to open an adult adhd clinic. Why do you say that time line specificly?
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Post by blaze on Feb 16, 2016 9:07:32 GMT
Intrusive thoughts, everypne gets them it's totally normal. Not terribley unusual for our brains to follow them along alittle either.
Wantimg help/not wanting help is to do with feelings and again it is v human thing to have v mixed feelings alot of the time.
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Post by blaze on Feb 13, 2016 6:49:37 GMT
Therein lies the problem Kathymel. Unless ADHD becomes a recognised condition across the whole of the NHS then, it's never going to attract high quality research. We're such a long way away from achieving the research funding that is afforded to physical conditions, such as cancer, heart disease etc. There's a mountain to climb and my energy is going into getting to 1st base. Let's have Adult ADHD Specialist clinics across the country - after that - well a whole lot of other demands. there maybe plenty of high quality research in other countries, and there maybe plenty of opportunities for credible research from other sources over here. It's not an either or.
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Post by blaze on Feb 12, 2016 20:51:34 GMT
Oh and with regards to the statement that females with adhd have greater rates of anxiety/depression etc - it would need factored in that in general males have higher rates of psychotic disorders and significantly higher rates of suicide.
Without context it doesn't mean much
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