mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Aug 6, 2017 20:53:41 GMT
I'm a master at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory! Lol! That's pretty much me as well and completely sums me up!
That's probably the best way I've heard to explain my ridiculous behaviour!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Aug 6, 2017 10:37:06 GMT
Hi Jon. I only clicked on your thread coz of the title as it's similar to analogy I say abouty behaviour, especially the destructive side of it. As I like my behaviour to a car crash! I can see I'm about to crash but instead of pressing the break, I accelerate! Then after I've crashed "oh! Why did I do that!" I'm kinda the opposite to you, I'd prefer to work for people, be told what to do and when to do it! Give me structure and routine! Plus I suppose I'm a follower not a leader!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 1, 2017 18:05:39 GMT
Mate I can't believe you argued with them! Lol! But to be fair I was getting quite angry and was just about to have a word before I decided to double check! And luckily for it was only an appointment for the jobsworth centre!
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mc1250
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Stigma
Apr 17, 2017 20:50:35 GMT
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 17, 2017 20:50:35 GMT
Pretty much all the same as you really! The only thing I would add is the poeple who I've grown up with will tell me they don't think I've got it as I wasn't that bad in school etc! But the thing they all fail to see is that I was, but I didn't care back then and I'm sure they cared even less to be able to notice how bad I was!
Even though the only school report I found was the same as yours, turning up to lessons late unprepared etc
The warnings I got at work were for being late... always!! One work place I even got to the written warning stage, for lateness! I only wish I can start implementing your kind of structure!
I'm also 40, and get told I'm not hyper, but then they can't see into my head and don't notice the amount I'm constantly fidgeting!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 16, 2017 16:36:25 GMT
There's no quick fix I'm afraid! Convincing your doctor is a big enough hurdle as it is. Then the doc has to refer you then wait however long!
Plus is you go with the intention of getting adderall (dexanfetamine what it's called here) then they're likely to get suspicious and think your only after drugs on the NHS! So you have to go through the process of what they decide to prescribe you, trial and error phase exactly what you wanted to avoid!
Private very costly for the consultation and meds and then the NHS most likely won't accept the private diagnosis so will still have to go through the long winded and painful NHS way.
Good luck with it but im afraid you'll have to be very patient!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 15, 2017 9:20:56 GMT
There's an ADHD whatsapp group based around these meetings, which are scheduled for the 1st Tuesday and 3rd Thursday of the month.
If you want I can ask the group administration to add you, but you'll have to PM me your number.
That way you'll be kept up to date with the meetings and have another group chat to be distracted by! Lol!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 13, 2017 23:30:01 GMT
UPDATE: The same company gave me a job (over 3 months later!) they really weren't kidding when they said they'd keep me in mind That's brilliant mate!! And means there's some hope for the rest of us!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 13, 2017 23:18:18 GMT
You turn up to an appointment early feeling good about yourself. But then 30/40 minutes later after not being called you check your app card and find you had the right time but not date!!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Apr 13, 2017 20:26:22 GMT
Peanuts and especially peanut chocolates are the work of Satan and confectioners! So I was with you on most of what you said apart from that! Oh and football just got no skill playing any sport and no interestin them. Only thing that interested Mr was getting on it!
Anyway I've had my fair share of issues with self medicating and luckily now at 40 and after 20 odd years of that, it's behind me for good! I hope!
Anyway at least your good company or like minded people now.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Feb 19, 2017 21:07:44 GMT
Yeah, I've had my fare few issues with addiction. My worst and most destructive has been gambling then whatever substances and I also have the self control issue when I have it. But be it gambling or drugs once I start I find it very hard to stop until I have no option but to. Even when part of me is screaming STOOOOP!
The best way to explain it is using my car crash analogy!
So I can see I'm about to crash it's obvious but I ignore it and sometimes even press the accelerator!! And then straight after I crash, I say/ask myself.... "I knew that as gonna happen, why didn't I just stop!!"
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Jan 5, 2017 20:52:27 GMT
Reading your account above was like reading about parts of my life, so i can completely relate to so much of it like so many others reading it probably can!
Anyway as to how to approach the doctors about it. ..well just basically relay what you have done above. Just make it shorter and bullet point it maybe. But it all depends on your doctor and how receptive he is to it.
Good luck.
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Post by mc1250 on Nov 17, 2016 1:07:45 GMT
Same to same! I've had so many many interviews, having to pretend I'm all these things that I'm not. Some of the things I am, a hard worker, dedicated, loyal etc ...but organised, punctual etc ...hell no! I actually feel bad, coz I hate lying and essentially that's what I'm doing! I know everyone does it, I just feel bad for doing it! Then when I fail, which I almost certainly do... then it feels worse! Letting myself down is bad enough letting others down is much harder.
People say I shouldn't care, coz it's a faceless company, I'm just another number and it's business! But it's not coz the people your working with who have put their time and effort into you are ultimately going to be let down! Plus it takes more effort hiding who you are which adds more pressure to the job immediately!
I day dream about going into an interview and baring my soul almost exactly how you described your application. That way I'm comfortable straight away, if they were to employ me that is, no hiding, just the person they met in the interview room and who they decided they can work with!
Anyway brave call, I wish one day I could do the same!
Good luck with it and well done for being you!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Aug 5, 2016 20:32:00 GMT
Doing the job you're doing, or being an SEN teaching assistant would have been my preferred job, of things had been different.
The current issue you're describing would be, the fear that would accompany the job!
The above isn't very helpful I know but not sure what to say to you. I'm sure you've probably exhausted all the other help/support avenues available to you before ending up here. Unless your condition is hidden from work, is it?
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Feb 3, 2016 1:36:03 GMT
So sooo glad i went! I'm hoping to make it a regular thing and hoping the venue will relocate to the spoons in stratford!
But those i met today whose names i've already forgotten, it was goot to meet you and hopefully will see you again. Even if we have to re-introduce ourselves again!!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Feb 2, 2016 19:45:14 GMT
Thanks for the explanation dave. I was purely looking at it from a selfish point of view that would suit me.
Anyway I'm on my way there now. Who else is there tonight?
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Feb 1, 2016 23:19:47 GMT
Cool, thanks for clarifing contrarmary. i shall endeavour to be there tom!
Why don't we do a fri one (from a selfish point of view) so we don't have to worry about work the following morning (and for those with kids sticking to bed time, not that that actually happens, when i think about it!)?
Making a note on my phone now. I really do need to start meeting people who i don't have to hide my real self from. Biggest issue i have is 3 young kids who's bed time is about then. I think i'm gonna have to be slefish for a change and let the mrs deal with the mayhem tom.
Anyway really hoping i'll be there. And if i am speak to you then
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Feb 1, 2016 20:20:14 GMT
Hi
Is this meet up still going on as it been a bit quite since september?
If so, is it the 1st tuesday of the month which is tom? So let me know if it's going ahead, if the kids are in bed by a semi decent time i'll try come down.
Also would it be better to hold these meet ups on a non school night like a friday or sat?
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Post by mc1250 on Jan 24, 2016 0:28:55 GMT
Hi rabbit
Reading peoples accounts makes life easier for me!! I.e my intention to write down my personal feelings / situation can be put on the back burner (like everything else)!, as you and many others on here literally write my accounts for me!
This might be an obvious question and youve probably been asked this before, but have you tried discussing it with them? If you guys are good for each other then this in my theory should help.
The reason i ask and say is coz I've found trying to hide who am from people around me is 10x as harder and more exhausting and obviously makes you more unhappy. I'd love to be able to have a good chat with my partner about this and maybe get some support in terms of her understanding me better. But there are several reasons why I can't! one she's a absolute bitch, two she's asthick as s**t and 3 there a slight language barrier where a lot gets lost or misinterpreted! Oh and when I did discuss it with her she kinda made fun of it!
So if you didn't have the barriers I have, Could you?
(Oh and if you reply and I don't reply for ages its just that I'm very very time poor only get "me time" which is usually after 12 o'clock and then bed!)
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mc1250
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Insomnia
Jan 16, 2016 0:31:24 GMT
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Post by mc1250 on Jan 16, 2016 0:31:24 GMT
If you're looking for some way to help you sleep without chemicals. Then it's exercise and routine. I'm a desperate insomniac! It takes me hours to go sleep I envy those people who say they fall asleep as as their head hits the pillow!
Anyway back to the point. Exercise before you go bed and make it a key routine you have to stick to.
When I was on a bit of a health kick I either did 45 mins cardio on a X-trainer (get netflix on start watching your favourite series and the time will fly by) or weights/sit up's etc have a warm/hot shower and then hit the sack. I'd be out within minutes! Worked brilliantly for three months plus I lost a lot of weight!
Only wish I was still doing it, rather then letting my moobs (my moobs, my moobs, my lovely manly moobs! (Check it out)) Grow back!
Anyway it worked really well just don't seem to have the time these days!
You have to read this next bit in a robot voice as it sounds better!
"TRY IT! YOU MAY LIKE IT!"
I hope this helps!!
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Post by mc1250 on Sept 15, 2015 1:23:06 GMT
Hi Pela if you're a little worried about buying off ebay. You can go to a Uk supplier who sells on ebay and direct ftom their own site mind-foods.eu, google it. Or the tablets i bought were off of amazon so you can also look there, plus you;ll be able to read peoples reviews on it.
Skycaptain - why don't you think they;re something for long term use? They have no side effects or anything. And i've been taking them daily for well over a year. It would be great to not have to be reliant on something to help me get through the day. But any anxiety councilling/coaching never seemed to work. But this does so just going to go with it for as long as i can. My only fear is there's a sudden drought, then i'd end up back where i was before. And yes the adsence of stress at work is a wonderful thing!
Countrarymary - you said you're not sure exactly how much of an affect it's having due to your regime but can't you compare how you feel when you're not taking them and just sticking to your meditation and stuff to the days you take them on top.
P.s how the hell do you manage to focus enough to meditate? My friend keeps telling me about 'mindfullness' as shes done a course to actually teach it (she not adhd), she's still trying to get me to give it a bash but i know with chaotic mind i wouldn't ne able to focus enough for a couple of minutes!
I also like the fact you've got a routine down as for the short period i had that, with regular excercise, sticking to 3 meals a day etc i'd never felt better. But then when i let it go, it wrnt big time! Not sure if anyone else does this when they're on a munch crusade nut i'd often corge on sweet and savoury alternating between the 2, so chocs first, the a packet of crisps, then back to chocs or sweet biccies and carry on till i felt ill and ashamed of myself and somewhat dirty! For the men on this board it was akin to the sort shane you'd feel when you've been on the internet when no-ones been around.
Amyway i'm really glad to hear it's started working for you all. (apart from miss ebay consumables phobia lady but still hoping you find it through another outlet. A guy i worked with who i told him about this stuff said he managed to find it in his local chemist, so if you get a chance you might wanna have a little looksy.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Sept 13, 2015 6:41:30 GMT
The L-theanine train does seem to be picking up some new people and with some positive feedback to boot.
pelargonium - i understand your reservations about this stuff and the dodgey way it can be bought.
It's all about cost, you could probably get them from a bigger retailer but for 2/3 times the price i'm paying. In fact i've bought these as actual tablets and chewable sweets from the USA. But they were a lotttt more expensive. But only coz i was going abroad and you can imagine the issues i would have had at customs even with the capsules.
As for everyone being alive to tell the tale i'm guessing they all googled it till their fingers bled like i did before i took the plunge and they probably found what i did, which was practically all positive. The ones that weren't positive simply stated they didn't work! But then it didn't work for me until i upped my dosage from the recommended 200mg to 600mg to 1000mg a day! So it could possibly have worked for them if they had given it a chance.
Pela - 'D.Y.O.R' and you'll find there's nothing to worry about when it comes to this stuff. The only draw back issssss and this probably only applies to me is that as i've found it so useful at reducing my anxiety, considerably. I've started frequently doing things that i would have only done once a month, (whilst under the influance of alcohol) due to the anxiety thats left behind, along with other things i would have comepletely steered clear of which isn't really a good thing! Unles i keep it in control.
AS for everyone else thanks for getting back to me with what you've found and like i said i hope it improves things for you guys.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on Sept 3, 2015 19:43:10 GMT
glad to hear it persephone, lets hope they work as well as thy did for me.
I managed to persuade a couple of other people on another forum to try it one came back with a positive results so was quite happy to hear that.
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mc1250
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GAD
Aug 14, 2015 23:09:37 GMT
Post by mc1250 on Aug 14, 2015 23:09:37 GMT
Hi All
Not been on here for a while as I was just soo busy.
Anyway how is everyone and most importantly... I'd like to know if the L-Theanine has helped anyone. As much as its helped me, what have your experience's been, did you give up on it etc
Let us know thanks
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 12, 2015 23:55:09 GMT
I so wanna go into one right now with history and what I've done, howit's etc affected my life but so time poor due to 3 young kids(who I suspect I have cursed with my adhd, but that's for another time). And new job and general inability to organise properly.
Anyway the voting buttons with different option - nice touch that!
Bottom line is if it wasn't for the fact a did recreational drugs, speed in particular I would never have come to know I have adhd! As I couldn't work out why with a particular dose I was calm, not anxious not scatter brained far more eloquent etc so started researching what in the drug community is called 'legal speed' and started reading the symptoms for what MP, Adderall etc helped with! Then the penny dropped big time when nearly every symptoms described, was describing me!
I've got shed loads to say but little time to say it. So will lave it for another time and hopefully manage to read through everyone Account's and how they've been affected and are still affected.
So will be back soonish I hope.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 12, 2015 21:48:58 GMT
Nazia speed! Is what's it's referred to. And I think the doc might got a little confused or heard slightly wrong info. Amphetamines have been around for a very long time. The nazis apparently just tweaked it to make it more potent somehow.
Anyway thanks for starting the thread. I'll be popping over there to have a look now.
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 11, 2015 18:50:41 GMT
Go for it mate. I'm behind you on this one. only thing I'm worried about is some people who can't or won't see the difference between recreational drug use and drug addicts! and may take a dim view on the subject.
But it's a surprise to me it's not been raised before(or maybe I've not noticed a previous thread about it) as from what I've read it can be quite a common issue in adhd ers.
I also remember reading an article about how many people that are in prison display adhd symptoms but obviously undiagnosed!
And thinking about my brush with the law many moons ago due to my lack of impulse control...I reckon There could be some truth to it.
anyway said to much now so let me know once you've started it.
Thanks
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mc1250
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May 11, 2015 1:02:57 GMT
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Post by mc1250 on May 11, 2015 1:02:57 GMT
Manson88 - just paid a bit more attention to your last post! Yeah Deffo pills/caps foe outside the home and powder whilst at home. I also keep a couple of caps on me whilst out and about!
NYE, kisstorry at the O2. I forgot about then abd got searched and the caps came out! Security was like " what are these caps full of white powner?" And to an extent they do look like something that could be put together at home! I just said "vitamins if you want them, take em, chuck em, I'm not bothered!" - he let me put them back in my pocket and let me on my way! I was a little surprised at that. I thought I'd get turned away or bare minimum have them confiscated.
Anyway must sleep Now!
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 11, 2015 0:51:42 GMT
Good for you manson for trying it. I really hope it has the sort of positive rwaits it has for me. But then you're taking alongside some other things so not sure how that'll work out.
What's the plan to try to slowly wean yourself off some of the other stuff. I keep hearing about pregab, what's that for anxiety?
Also go for the powder, far cheaper. Like I said 50g for less then a tenner and will last you a couple of months at least.
I don't really have caffeine with mine as I'm on the MP. But on the days I forget to take my MP.to work I drink coffee but not sure really how much of an improvement in concentration I have but then again coz of the l-theanine I'm less bothered about that side!
Contrarymary - like I said I have 3/4 of the 100 mg scoops so if you need one just pm your address and I'll send one over. Or just guestamate. I reckon about half a teaspoon would be about 500/600mg. I'll do a rough measurement and let you know. As at the end if the day to OD on this stuff will be almost impossible so have a guess. What about the other person you shared it with, who doesn't like driving have they said anything. Or worst case scenario get the 200 mg caps as well more expensive but easier to dea with.
Almost 2 am with what will be my 7th day at work tom and instead of sleeping I'm posting. I went a little mad on the politics thread! I really need to sleep so shall try.
Thanks for getting back to me guys
Take care
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mc1250
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Post by mc1250 on May 11, 2015 0:24:47 GMT
Most of below is based on gut feelings and what I personally believe rather then fact. So I may probably be wrong on a lot of and will be glad if people correct me with the facts.
Firstly i'm a socialist and have voted labour on every occasion bar one!
Yes! You've guessed it...I voted for the cons this year! How can I be a socialist and commit such a crime!
Well there's a few reasons and I'm not sure I'll be able to explain them all....but I'll try to explain 1 or 2 at the least.
1) when I realised that governments whoever is in power answers more to corporations, HNWI's and basically money! It didn't matter who was in power. The rich would get richer and the poor, poorer. This probably started in the 80's under thatcher (an American completely false idea of trickle down economics) and continued under labour government's!! The only thing labour did to disguise this was to borrow more and hand out more benefits and get us more in dept. Let alone Gordon Brown selling off nearly all our gold reserves for next to nothing to help fund the tax credits he introduced.(I think it was introduced)
now that I've started typing I don't know how much sense it will make especially the way it makes sense to me.
Bottom line is what's good for the country isn't good for the individual! And the country needs to come first! Or else all I can think of is....Greece! (Very over dramatic and completely out there but that's what I think of).
The country is heavily in dept, a debt which obviously needs to be repaid! the most part of which was not the making of us 99%! But by the greedy gambling banks. So from what I understood is that's when Britain's debt sky rocketed It was what we had to borrow in order to bail those institutions out (but I wonder would there have been a global meltdown if we did let them fail or was it the heads of these institutions persuading their friends in government to prop them up to keep their gravy trains running!) Although it had been creeping up quite a bit under labour already and let's not forget when the banking crisis happened who was on guard then. Who heavily courted the city and gave it ever more power to regulate itself which was ....to put it mildly...not wise!
This sounds like ramblings and sort of wish I hadn't started now but hopefully a point will come eventually.
Anyway so we're in a big sh!ty mess mainly due to the greed of 1% or less in fact. What do we do.... believe labour that they'll make things right and reverse the cuts and look after the poorest and most vulnerable! Yes I believe they would do that.
Do i believe labour, that it would be funded by going after tax avoidance by the big corps and HNWI'S and UHNWI's and by the mansion tax etc .....no I truly didn't believe they would! They had the (ed) Balls to say they'd do it but in reality I don't think they have the balls to actually do it. All they'd do is what was done before and borrow more to make us feel better and all the while sinking us further into dept!
Whereas as the cons would carry on looking after their rich chums and take it off the social spend to help pay down the dept. Not in the least bit fair but for me the lesser of the two evils over all!
We keep attacking the government for not tackling Corp tax avoidance but I believe there's a collective responsibility here! In the way of our black economy and how it's rapidly growing. Ultimately it's this what brought Greece down! I heard at one point Greece had the highest proportion of luxury SUV's per head then any other country.
I'm from the Asian community and I know for a fact tax evasion and benefit fraud are rife! (Shameful and embarrassing for me to know and see this, not sure what it's like in other communities. Maybe someone can fill me in On their respective community?). Anyway notice how most mini cab drivers are asian? I do because once I called a cab and there was a white guy driving and in drunken shock, I looked at him and said "you're white!" And he replied "I know!", he took it in good faith as he knew why I was shocked. Anywayyyyy the point is a lot of these cab drivers all earn (on the books) just below the amount before which you have to start paying tax. So get all the max benefits/state handouts! So no tax paid and lots of benefits. So are able to a afford nice big cars, expensive extensions to their properties etc at the cost of the country. Anyway my shame was lessened when I heard from a friend that his bro-in-law is a black cabbie (white guy this time) is absolutely minted as this tax dodge has being on forever with these cabbies (and he's pissed off as he works a normal job and pays the correct tax).Then I know a couple EE self employed labourers that make stacks of cash but hen again only declared the bare minimum. And I've also been told a lot of own business and self employed are creative with their accounting. And the self employed sector is growing ie our black economy as they call it is growing. and how many of us say "how much if I pay cash?"...what's my point? most of us are in some way guilty to the mess that we are in that is going to be taken out on the weakest the ones that can't defend themselves and why? Because no government will ever get a grip of all of the above and the selfish nature in a lot if us won't help them get the tax revenues they could get to be able not to make these 12bn or so cuts that are coming.
I'm not some wealthy individual. I am now more reliant on the government then I was before partly due to me making very bad choices and partly due to being made redundant 2 years ago and not being able to secure full time work as it's all going abroad etc. But these cuts will hur me and my kids but I believe they need to happen or else we could be on the path Greece took which would be a far worse outcome.
So I'd rather the cons keep to their usual selfish old boy network and try keep the country as far away from the worst then labour push as as close to the worst!
Also I do agree with the argument that people who can help it shouldn't recieved more in benefits then those who work.
I mean at one point some of the jobs I was going for would have only made me a £100 a month better off than if I just stayed on benefits, so was thinking Hmmm should I Stay on benefits! But luckily snapped out of that thought process as out of 22 years I've been out of work for probably 2 and wasn't through not trying! (in a temp job at the mo) but if I wasn't and probably won't be when the contract runs out and the government slash my benefits, well I'll be annoyed like every else but understand and accept it, and keep searching for that elusive full time permanent job!
Long winded don't know if it makes sense to anyone or if anyone even agrees with what I've said or most importantly managed to read it all.
The cons bought peoples votes with selling off council housing. Labour bought votes through bigger and bigger benefit handouts. Sometimes they're as bad as each other. Or the sane party trying to occupy the middle ground and trying to be everything to everyone and really being nothing to no one!
And lastly Britain's biggest expense is the social budget we've all got to use to it and I think we need to start getting used to not having it as good as we have. We shouldn't look at countries like, Norway, Sweden etc and say look how good they've got it. I came from a place where if you didn't work you didn't eat. No state help at all and corruption beyond belief so am thankful for being here.
"You should always look below and be grateful rather then look above and be hateful!"
This took me almost 3 hrs to type out and I'm not sure if I've even made a point worth making or justified my reasons for voting blue and am wondering what kind of a verbal lynching I'll get from others. I'm also too tired now to proof read it back. So don't be too surprised when certain things don't make sense.
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mc1250
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May 10, 2015 20:30:06 GMT
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Post by mc1250 on May 10, 2015 20:30:06 GMT
Hi JJ, contrarymary.
Have you had any joy with the l-theanine at all?
It would be good to know if anyone else isgetting the same positive results from it as I am.
Thanks
MC1250
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