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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 7:50:49 GMT
Oh is horrid how they ca n be sometimes- so many things about the burocorcy vexes me. But if it's a recurring issue have to thought of maybe talking to your local elected council person? Often times a letter in the right had can shake an Apple from an otherwise unripe tree :-)
I don't know you situation but there is often someone 'above' someone else that can be helpful if they think that they'll be held accountable lol
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 7:42:28 GMT
When asked why I get stressed out I'll say it's cos I've got too many plates I'm trying to juggle and I need to either be left to manage the ones I've got or have some taken away from me. But does anyone listen, no, every day there is more and more to do. So much that I can't even remember half of it. And I've not finished the stuff I was doing before having more added. I'm overwhelmed and pressured and trying to do everything I need too. It's like trying to build a car with one hand and no tools. I need space to do my work in my own pace and for people to understand that I can't work AND do housework, its one or the other if either job is to be done. But people just look at me and say stuff like 'you've just got to learn to manage your time better' or 'your a woman, youre good at multitasking.' (Which yes I am but I'm already multitasking so much inside my head just to focus on this conversation that anything else is a burden on my already tired psychi) or, 'just do what you can and prioritise this or that or this and don't forget that' ? yeah, super helpful thanks. People seem to get confussed- they talk to me and think I'm super clever and brainy and capable cos I have loads of knowledge and a unique set of skills. Then when I don't match up to those expectations in practical applications then I'm deemed lazy or stupid or crazy. I have a brilliant mind. I'm not stupid, I am clever. But no one seems to understand how tirying it is being me and trying to focus on one thing let alone the dozens of things I'm faced with daily. I try not to let it get me down but sometimes I just feel so trapped and lonely. Like a prisoner inside my own head. All I want is to be the kind of wife and mother that my family deserve- why do I have to be more then that? Why can't that be enough? And the next time someone tells me I need to 'organise my time better' I'll throw a clock at them!
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 7:25:18 GMT
As above really but in context- my 3 yr old in amazing. He puts me to shame with his brilliance. But he is also randomly obsessive. Where as other children gmdraw things like cars or flowers, he draws laptops and printers. If our printer has just finished printing, he can't relax until the paper is off the printer and if the printer makes noises or needs more ink or paper, it has to be done right away or he gets upset. But other then that he's a normal kid. Doesn't sit still for long but I'm kinda glad of that (oio sit still too much lol )
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home ed
May 24, 2016 7:21:59 GMT
via mobile
Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 7:21:59 GMT
I home ed and love it. But I worry for the future as my kids are small currently and need more of my attention yet it's hard to focus on their needs when I have work as well.
But I write curriculums and make resources and my ceativingty is a great tool as we can turn almost any occurance into a learning opportunity. MMof you have any questions regarding home ed activities or such please feel free to ask. I used to work I schools, as a nanny, as teacher and student and I love learning. I also fully believe that home ed is the best way forward for most children these days.
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 6:54:59 GMT
My OH and I want to start a business. I'm really excited but also really stressed. Because my OH works full time and is hardly home and when he is home he's generally sleeping. So I have to tend to the children and the house and the cooking and then on top of all that do the stuff for the business that we wanted to start in the summer but at this rate will be lucky if we start in the new year.
The curriculum that needs to be built isn't an issue for me, give me time and I'll have it done in a jiffy. But marketing, advertising, social media, business plans and- worst of all- searching for funding all drag me down. I'm starting to really dread the busind as rather then love it. The only reason I won't give up is cos the business idea is so important to us, to me. But I hate myself sometimes for not being about to work more effectively.
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 6:48:33 GMT
My oh is sleeping (works night's, it's valid that he sleeps) and I have a 'd before he wakes' to do list that I can't forcusnon cos my brain hasn't yet recovered from its sleep state. I also have nappies and teeth to brush and remember and mouth to feed.
Does anyone else finding eating breakfast to be an odious task? I feed my boy's but never have any interest in feeding myself. My oh things it's weird that I forget to eat often but it's just part of my brain- i never focus on food unlessI have too. And I normally get full on the smells of other people's foods.
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 6:44:11 GMT
Why set a questionnaire to a set group that is skilled at not completing tasks they don't desire to do deeply lol. Any given day would have different results depending on one's overall mood that day.
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Post by shiningbright on May 24, 2016 6:34:53 GMT
You make sure to have a pen and note pad in every room. Yet when you go to look for one you end up writing on an oldletter incrayon cos that's all you can find. And that's if you are lucky. I can always find paper but pens! I swear they must grow legs when I'm sleeping and abandon me lol. I buy so many pens that my local shop much make a living off me lol
As for cooking I love it. Bu t it's always pot luck. My kids enjo y my food most of the time but my oh is more careful. Hrs got a heart of gold and eats whatever I give him - only once has ggge ordered takeaway instead lol. But I do have a tendency to put something on the stove and forget about it. And I've lost track of how many times I've sent the smoke alarm ringing cos I was so Bush I forgot about the food. And I avoid making chapattis where possible because A they rarely come out right (often more like popadoms) and B cos they make me cry (seriously- how hard is i t to make blasted flat bread that I've done wrong more times then is possible to count! Sick of being told how easy it is lol) :-)
When your kid is better and remember the chores then you are - and is the only thing that can reach you when you're 'zoned out' or hyper focused.
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Post by shiningbright on May 23, 2016 23:45:21 GMT
Hi, I'm undiagnoised suppected adhd/add (most likely of the inattentive type), but I have no ntection of seeking diagnosis in the future. It might, however, be nice to join discussion with other facing similar daily struggles as myself, if only for the benefit of easing my loneliness.
The inside of my head is my favourite place to be and I love the person that I am, that I have become. I remeber my youth, where I faced much trauma inside and outside of school, and I'm quite certain that had I been as attentive in general life as people expected me to be I'm not sure I'd have made in through my teens. My mind was my safe space and I became so self aware that I developed a great interest in psychology, philosophy and education.
I could write a novel on my life, my history and how it's shaped me and how my brain works. But I'll not bore anyone with that.
I always suspected that I had mild autism when I was growing up but was never tested, now it's more likely that I'd be classed at ADHD or ADD if I was to be assessed. Which I don't plan to be. Not because I don't see the value of assistance as and if needed (I'm not proud, if I need help then I'll ask for it - or I'll try too anyway). But because I think that in my case, the label of having a 'disorder' would be unhelpful.
A couple of things about me:
A - I don't think that ADHD exists in the way it is commonly seen too. I'm not saying it's not a real, I'm saying that I don't think it's a disorder or an illness. I'm not saying that it's not a struggle, and there will be those who would really benefit from helpful drugs but that's not me. I am not broken, I simply have a unique view of the world.
B - My crazy, twister brain is my greatest tool and asset. I can create a curriculum from scratch in less then two weeks (if I get the time to focus that is - I'm a mum now it's harder to find the time for my mind). But it can take me weeks to clean the house. Not bit by bit, but that I don't seem to get around to it and then boom - all of a sudden it's all I can think of and the place is spotless withing half a day (followed by a great sleep lol). My imagine can still surprise even myself, I love it (most of the time).
C - I am deeply religious and I believe that my mind is as much a gift from God as it is trial.
D - I've never met any of you, I likely never will, but I love all of you and pray for the best for all of you.
E - when I crash, I crash hard - tears, self doubt the whole lot. But my husband is great, he doesn't know anything about ADHD/ADD/etc, all he knows is I'm a woman who he loves and will support and that is more precious to me then anything. And my 3 yr old son is amazing, more useful then a to do list - he alwasy reminds me that I need to clean (I can get so caught up in my 'work'). I have my fears and insecurities, but I try not to think of them because if I do then I know I'll worry about things I don't really need too - whats the point of hurting myself with thoughts that won't help anything but will just bring me down - especially when I can't doubt that I am loved, that is enough for me.
F - I'm a very simple person (with a not so simple internal structure) - I know my limitations and if when I exceed those that I struggle.
So that's a basic view of me - I think my friend was on here for me a couple days ago and talked about me, so my history will likely be in her posts knowing her (she's sweet and I don't mind being talked about - better the truth be spoken behind my back then a rumor). I come across as social but I'm quite shy so I'm not in the wrong place, if my posts won't be wanted then I can leave, people only have to ask/say. I listen.
Many thanks and God bless.
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