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Post by anopheles on Oct 18, 2016 23:40:58 GMT
i'm more the inattentive type because I could go to the Olympics for daydreaming. Having said that, the QB test showed me more hyperkinetic than I thought I was (1.8). It's just that I micromove rather than wave my hands about.
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Post by anopheles on Oct 18, 2016 23:37:06 GMT
I've just got round to listening to that radio programme Endymion posted the link to. . The full programme is Here
The bits about ADHD are in the first and last half hours and are really good and highlight how how hard it can be to get assessment/dx as an adult. . there's an interview with Louis Smith after the first section and I'm pleased that they mentioned his ADHD and linked it into the phone in. It was good to hear JP (Hi anopheles ) mention the qb test too! I found it really hard and irritating to listen all of the way through, even though I ffwd through some of it . .it's worth a listen at both ends though. Hi. Yeah, it was supposed to be a talk between me and the lady, but the interviewer kept piling on questions to that gymnast who was on earlier and the lady talked without a break so I couldn't get a word in. I was going to say it's hard for older women to get diagnosed because there is a tendency to put hyperemotionality down to 'emotional fragility' or just being female when instead it's more to do with impulsitivy of feeling.
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Post by anopheles on Oct 2, 2016 12:47:09 GMT
One of the benefits of my ADHD is that a constant stream of words goes past my eyes. Sometimes I can just dip in and find poems. This one has taken a bit of sculpting, but I think it is ready for the cold stare of daylight.
Attention Deficit
This palsy, this glory of a palsy
That adores the pure order of a cause
And then betrays it for a penny.
This mosaic of all of my joy and all of my poverty
This fractured wonder of a thing
That makes me Legion
Broken into one hundred thousand wholes.
On the patchwork sea of intention
I am not the admiral but only the armada,
I am the sails, but not the driving wind.
I am the dream of all the sailors
who cannot follow a star of their own choosing.
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Post by anopheles on Apr 1, 2016 0:43:25 GMT
Hello everyone, I am not very well at the minute. So I'll keep it brief. I have ADHD inattentive type, depression and anxiety. For the first time in my life I am considering claiming some kind of disability allowance. I have no idea if i can or if i should. I just can't seem to be able to anything. You should if you want. I have and I did and I qualified for ESA (sadly I'm in the constant gentle push towards work group - not as intense as jobseekers, but annoying if you know that unless you get the right job you;ll be back on their doorstep again) and I get the severe disability premium and I get PIP. It makes day to day living a lot less worrisome. I'm also mostly inattentive too.
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Post by anopheles on Apr 1, 2016 0:38:26 GMT
I set it up so I could get off the computer at 1am at the latest.
It doesn't work. I've allowed it through my firewall, I'm not using proxies. Service is slow. Damnit.
Anyone know of it and what I may be doing wrong. It won't start the app, possibly because i set it to 'non interferable', so I can't see what else it could be. I've tried repairing it with ccleaner, in case it was a bad install.
I should try a clean install, but I don't know if that interferes with the settings.
Also the website is very sparse.
Would someone mind having a go with it (on the free service, natch) and see if it's just me. I'm running Opera, but I fired up Chrome and that was still getting internet.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 29, 2016 15:47:01 GMT
Just talking about this today, I loved dancing down the night club! I used to get asked two questions: Was I gay and did I take drugs? The answer to both was (usually) no.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 29, 2016 13:24:39 GMT
I used to joke, prediagnosis, that if I wrote something down to remember it, then I would remember it without having to look at the reminder.
Alas, that's not practical for a lot of day to day tasks, nor does it help with memory over time.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 28, 2016 12:30:10 GMT
Just to remind you of tomorrow's show with Special Guest Colin, who comes in once a month.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 27, 2016 9:19:35 GMT
I was thinking this the other night when it came to me that most of us have the mental minds that resemble the body of a Olympic sprinter (even if only because we move so fast mentally) and like a sprinter, we are tensed up for action on the starting block and Bang! We're off, but we can't stay in the lane assigned. We may indeed post an excellent time, but the finishing line isn't in the long jumper's sand pit or in Row C of the stands...
That made me think that we struggle with aspects of our minds like someone with Cerebral Palsy struggles to get their muscles to obey instructions. Naturally, I don't wish to lessen the effect of that condition, but rather get people to understand the seriousness of ours. Does that make sense?
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Post by anopheles on Mar 27, 2016 8:19:32 GMT
Naturally, if you are already in work and receive the diagnosis (of this or any long term/ life long psychiatric disorder) then contact your manager/ human resource department immediately and research what will help. don't worry, the equal opportunity/anti discrimination law is stood behind you like a big friendly giant.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 27, 2016 0:33:09 GMT
Your mileage may vary.
Went to consultant in October, listened to me, understood and, from the evidence, diagnosed ADHD (mostly inattentive).
He listens, didn't mind I was an hour late (occupational hazard? And don't take this as proof he'll do it for you!), gave me advice on late night hyperfocus (internet timer, the one I've chosen I temperamental). Endlessly patient and not wed to any one treatment.
Apparently, a new clinic has opened in Manchester, but I recommend you see the Liverpool Specialist outpatient at Breightmet, he's an excellent person.
Edit: Not dissing the Manchester one, just have no experience with it.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 27, 2016 0:12:26 GMT
Yes! If you have an official diagnosis from a second level specialist (usually a consultant referring sideways to another specialising consultant, though other paths may be available). Basically, if you were told by a person in smart clothes in an hospital or a clinic that isn't your GPs (if it isn't the only medical building for 50 miles), then you're good to go.
Opinions differ on whether or not to disclose at interview or at first day. One is more upfront and give you a bonus to quota filling (in things like public services, charities, corporations, etc), but can be (though you'll never know) a barrier to getting employed in the first place (more likely in smaller private firms). Day one reveals can feel like pulling a fast one, but if it's the choice you made stick with it. Mentioning it later, say after your first boo-boo, will look opportunist.
In law, all firms have to make 'reasonable' adjustments where possible (so no wheelchair firemen fighting fires or verbal tic Tourette's newsreaders), to help the disabled (and that's us, as these things are counted) find and keep jobs.
There are schemes at the jobcentre where any necessary expense for your needs will be paid by the government so firms don't lose out. You can even have a part of the job description removed if it is the one thing that prevents you from taking that job. (example, if you have a social phobia then you don't have to go on the rota for Reception duty).
Once you are in, they have to employ or direct you to an in house Occupational Therapist who will go through what you may need.
These, naturally, are going to differ between individuals and occupations, but if office work: No tidy desk or hot desking (because of organizational difficulties), longer deadlines, understanding of facial and verbal impulses, extra breaks or less rigid start/stop times, permission to doodle/knit in meetings (it anchors us and prevents us missing info) and looser targets.
If you can avoid really stupid self inflicted 'Gross Misconduct'sackings or jobs that absolutely do not suit our wiring (air traffic control, endless data entry) and you get fired for being disabled... Well, it's the kind of thing that make employment lawyers send you flowers and sing in the bathroom.
Check out the web for specifics in your case.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 23:25:54 GMT
So this is my proposal. I am a documentary and experimental filmmaker and I am a proud ADHD adult. I have been diagnosed and dealing with it si pence I can remember and it has been Both a good and bad trip I still travel. There are soooooo many thing I still need to learn and work on just to seam normal or according to social standards. During mupy studies at university in London, I made a documentary on adhd but from a child point of view and I am now interested in making a project on how adhd impacts adults... Their accounts and strougless through work, therapy and how it differs from and is carried through growing up and entering the "grown up world". I don't have much money or resources but I have a story to tell, many contacts who could benefit and the hell of determination. who else is interested let me know and let's share our stories with other confused and soon to experience Ad(h)d people. This may get moved, so don't panic I it's suddenly gone! You need to give some help! How long? Where to? Before? Written or sound file? Anonymous or named? Etc. I'm interested.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 23:16:35 GMT
Sorry to hear this. I couldn't cope with teacher training, which was partly my energy limit of three months robbing out and partly the joy sucking paperwork, most of it identical.
Some good news. Things should be looking up for those of us who can work.
You count as disabled. Reasonable provisions have to be made. It offers some protection from simply being fired (if you can skip around any 'gross misconduct' instafiring.
So, your next position has to take at least half the responsibility of keeping you employed (ideally, an O.T should be hired for you and they can be your buffer).
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 23:09:33 GMT
A disorder is so called because it disorders your existence and although there are joys in adhd (oh yes there are), it has definitely disordered my existence.
I'm beginning to see it as like cerebral palsy of the mind, in the sense I am mostly a passenger to parts of my mind i can't access' whims, while struggling to steer it like a car in a banger race.
For anyone doubting ADHD, hit them with the atypical stimulant response (I fell asleepan hour after 3 lines of coke), then undercut them with the prefrontal cortex atypicality and them stamp on their face (I'm getting carried away, aren't I?) with the fact it's actually be recognised for nearly a century and we, themselves excepted, are a species that learns and acts on that learning and should we fucking well limp to prove to you, sir stranger, that we have needs!
Breath.
Stupidity tax. 'are you sure you're mentally disabled, you seem quite bright?'
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 22:46:26 GMT
We should point out the loss of £30 is for new claims only, so don't panic if you are on it already.
Sadly, every silver lining has a cloud and the back down makes regular testing more likely with invisible disabilities likely to suffer (especially if nothing specific is diagnosed). They'll go for the low hanging fruit first.
They also may decide it's cheaper to make people audit their pip spending and give you what you spend plus a little extra for new services.
The good news is that ADHD is recognised as a severe learning difficulty/disability and as long as you remember to give any interviewer your worst day's experience (you aren't being dishonest, your worst days are when you need help most). Don't put on a brave face, suffering on get's you no extra prizes, and should use lose then appeal immediately. my gf was refused, appealed, went to a panel of three and didn't even have to say anything... They couldn't understand the refusal and put her in the Support (most ill) group and back paid (5 months) her benefit.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 22:33:53 GMT
Not had a problem with numbing (only one trip since beginning meds), but the adrenaline thing is good to know.
I found even decaff coffee can start upping the ticker, so sadly I've gone to weakish tea.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 22:28:10 GMT
Nt = neurotypicals.
I think in metaphor, and a constant stream of words ticker tape across the back of my eyes, and I've used these to help others understand our... euphemism.
I'd like yours too, as mine are naturally informed by my experience.
The ADHD brain as a Sprinter
Imagine you are a sprinter. You have the tight physique of a 100m specialist, you were born to run. Your very soul cries out to run fast.
You are on the starting block. The gun fires... And you run off at an angle. No matter how you try, you can not run in the line provided.
That's what's it's like to know you have 'a good brain', a high iq, fizzing with ideas and energy and you can't get it to go where the rest of you wants it to. Worse, no one is aware you are largely a passenger trapped in your own head. It's the brain equivalent of the body with cerebral palsy.
The Ferrari metaphor(not mine, apart from one addition).
We have Ferrari brains but with bicycle brakes and (my bit) shopping trolley steering.
The living room and kitchen metaphor for attention difficulties.
Imagine you are watching a fascinating tv program. Maybe they building up to reveal the murderer! You need to do something in the kitchen, say putting the dog out. You try to walk backwards, you try to do the job by standing in the threshold, animal in hand, trying to open the back door with your free hand.... You may rush to the back door, but you rush back to the living room only to find later the dog is on the counter and the kettle is out the back.
You inside world is the living room and the outer world is the kitchen (or vice versa), we try to straddle both rooms and fail badly. Sometimes, with hyperfocus, we are trapped inside or outside one room or the other.
The AI metaphor
Imagine a machine that has to learn every task itself, from scratch, everyday. Even tasks that it has done before requires almost learning from scratch, when something changes.
This explains how we can not understand, if not guided or through many trials and errors that Register (the words and style of language you use) needs to change depending on context. That risqué joke you tell your friend shouldn't be told to your boss/mother/arresting officer. Nothing comes naturally to a lot of us, including social skills.
That'll do.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 26, 2016 21:57:36 GMT
I was talking about being blunt and coming across as rude. You seem to have gotten the impression that the OT was telling me to think before I speak. There are specific techniques to avoid being blunt as people with ADHD tend to be blunt without realising, this can be different to impulse control, not always but it is not all down to impulse control. It can also be related to not being aware of being blunt. The help I am getting from the OT is making a big difference in my life. Have you had any Occupational therapy yourself? Forgive me, I was worried that I came across as attacking your o.t, and it appears I was right to worry. I was conflating bluntness with impulsivity and while it could have a link, I am sure it not the full story. I suspect, from my own experience, that because we have learnt to be flexible and relaxed, (I understand it can go the other way) through surviving our socially bumpy ride through life, we can assume that people share our equally relaxed attitude. I also understand that can happen withe Neurotypical too. I imagine it will be one of those things that most of us grasp intellectually quite quickly, but getting 'that' other part of our brain to understand is where we need help.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 11:37:45 GMT
It nay be the eeeeempulse speaking, but I could come to the Thursday meeting sometime. I could even be back home oop north early hours.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 11:27:13 GMT
You don't say why bed is difficult? Struggling to get off the pc or tv? for the pc you can get programs design to turn off incoming data at x time. If tv, you can get 'anti burglary' timers on the plug socket. Its designed to turn lights on while on holiday, but it can be used for any appliance.
Also, try to remember the habit of putting alarms on you smart phone, plus self tricks like noting the seminar half an hour before it really is (giving your note taker a Dictaphone too?)
Apologies I you're tried these.
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Sometimes
Mar 24, 2016 11:19:32 GMT
via mobile
Bee likes this
Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 11:19:32 GMT
We are not people who walk in straight lines.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 11:16:31 GMT
Have you spoken with her since? She could have been busy. I've learnt the hard way to find out why someone has upset/disappointed me so I can get good and angry on safe ground.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 11:12:14 GMT
That o.t advice is just 'pull your socks up' politely put. If we could think before speaking, we'd think before speaking and it also doesn't take impulse control into account.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 9:08:42 GMT
Today it's an HDMI lead. New monitor came with three leads, not all the same, which i untied and put over my computer chair because I didn't know which one would work. First one did.
I wanted to set my old monitor up in a double monitor-y way and tried it, with its own connector. It didn't work. I lost interest. Went to stay at the GF's for a couple of nights. Came back, looked for the HDMI lead to put in my new monitor so I can put the old monitor in the old slot, which I know it recognises.
Not there. My front room is in one of it brief moments of tidyness. It isn't in a drawer, it isn't among the morass of leads under the table. Everything is connected to something else. I went through the leads one by one. It isn't under a couch, down the back of the couch, in a box, it isn't anywhere.
It has literally melted into nothingness. It's a two foot lead. I found a lead that I thought might be it, but I checked to see what they looked like and it wasn't (i didn't really think so, it had a bit of ingrained dust on it, but I was desperate) and it didn't fit (what the hell, I thought).
--
I'm getting better at not losing things. I got a new bank card through the post last time and I stared at it, because I had never gone so long without losing it. Looks like, fingers crossed, I'll do it again (7 months to go).
It helps that I do my pre-flight checks everytime I leave a 'room', inside and out. Keys, wallet, phone, glasses. I also put my keys and wallet in a little box by the door (also helps with impulsive internet buying).
Interruption/Rushing is the Devil, I have to start again. If I forget stuff now, it's stuff that hasn't become routine (or so routine that it slips from interest). Little things like organizing the night before and putting everything by the leaving door also helps.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 24, 2016 8:53:37 GMT
When I was a boy, I'd lose myself in tv films. Not so much as an adult. Now, as an aid to sleep to stop circular thought processes, I drift off to different fictional universes and help / improve/ hinder as suits my mood. sometimes I take a companion (Tyrion Lanister, for example) for the ride. These days I tend to think about technical things e.g. building a workshop, or designing my ideal handbag, but I used to do the fictional scenarios thing a lot. So much so, that I even wondered if I could write stories, but when I tried to put any of them on paper I'd keep thinking of/drifing off into variations, and could never decide which would be most likely to sell! I like your idea of taking a companion (rather than finding someone there). I might try that, and give someone a guided tour of one of my imaginary worlds. Yes. I like writing too (it's typing, which I can do, that bores me). I just have to accomodate writing into my 'Carousel of Interests' and be ok with taking a longish break when the energy dissapates, as it inevitably does. As for sparking ideas... I find if I write the idea down immediately/speak into a dictaphone then I can 'trick' my mind into thinking I've dealt with the issue.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 23, 2016 0:11:24 GMT
Sometimes it only takes one 'bad word' to get a site blocked.
I remember once at a cafe the frustration of random pages of a discussion thread being locked off.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 22, 2016 23:05:46 GMT
Place holder for dictionary and 'phrase book'.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 22, 2016 23:04:59 GMT
Provisionally called A.L.O.H.A for Atypical/ADHD Language for Organising and Helping Adults.
What I am not doing (this stops most of the mistaken beliefs right off).
Telling people not to speak or replacing speech.
Inventing a complex language like Deaf Sign.
Expecting everyone to learn it.
Using myself as the ur-ADDer or assuming my troubles are your troubles.
Not profiteering. Any net profit (if any) from handbook sales, etc. would be donated to an appropriate charity/adhd fora, etc
What I am aiming at
A left field solution to Social Skill awkwardness among Adults with ADHD and other Neuroatypical people.
A simple sign language that has a soft limit of 35 signs, most of which are combinable and should take less than hour to learn in full.
Something that is designed to help those who worry about hyper or hypo volubility or initiating speech verbally.
Something that makes initial conversation with family, friends, key workers and others less fraught by reducing the initial need for verbal communication.
..
I was advised the other day that since, unlike others in my anxiety group, I have no problems in groups or in crowds but rather in one to one situations, I should look up help for social skills for adults with adhd.
I did. A lot of it is well meaning, but comes across as a very polite and earnest version of try harder.
If I was the kind of person who could count to five before speaking I wouldn't need to count to five.
A lot of it told me stuff I already knew intellectually like we have a tendency to over talk or lose track, etc and a lot of advice boiled down to 'watch out for that'.
I understand that, in the UK, Adult ADHD is a newish field for large scale self help, but I thought that lacked something.
What about signs? Me and the Gf have, over the years, developed a loose few signs that let me know when I'm over talking or when I feel uncertain about adding to a conversation or when I need a minute to organise thoughts.
I did Google to see if it was already being developed and my heart sank when I saw the top link that said 'Adhd and Sign Language'. Luckily, it was the brilliant idea of teaching sign to school kids with ADHD to help them learn a different way.
Nothing for those of us a little past school.
We need an Adult Sign like A.L.O.H.A to help us and autistic people and others who are socially anxious about communicating one to one or in small groups.
To this end I formulated some rough limits.
Must be 35 or less sign gestures
Must be combinable
Must be easy to learn
Must occur in an area between the top of the chest and the waist. This is for people who have limited mobility in lower limbs and people who may have difficulty making or maintaining eye contact. Must have a One hand variant for people missing a limb/hand or have one hand busy.
Must offer to use hand at midriff level for those who find having their chest stared at uncomfortable.
Must lack complexity to prevent it being used as a total speech replacement.
..
I have the signs I've made ready to type up. I would like frank, constructive feedback on the idea as a whole and suggestions for editing or creating signs.
I have also combined a few for commonish expressions.
They'll be added to the post below this one when I am at home with a solid keyboard.
I really hope this is one of my ideas that other people catch and run with.
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Post by anopheles on Mar 22, 2016 22:05:12 GMT
I'm now in a relation coming up to it's 7th year, which is my longest relationship by about... 7 years. Ha, more like five, but I went through a lot of three monthers. I got lucky, but here's what I learnt,and suffered through, so hopefully you won't.
1: Watch out for hyperfocus. Forewarned and all that. It can be mistaken for obsession, especially if the other wants to see how it goes. Intensity is great, though, if you both have it. (you probably aren't actually obsessive as every time you leave the stimulant, you may lose the interest).
2: Communication is the key: Try not to over share right off the bat. First few dates, limit yourself to around yourself and generalities. A bit of mystery is better than a lot of history. Imagine ever decreasing circles. Try not to mention your diagnosis til the third date, if it's not already known. Any slip up you may make sill be put down to charming nerves.
When you mention it, mention whatever facets affect relationships worst (emotionality, distractibility, what have you), and let reassure them a lot. I used to have short relationships because after the initial intensity, I'd revert to daydreaming and, I think, they saw this as diminished interest. I was always surprised, as I was generally still quite keen.
3: Excitement and nervousness make us jittery and talkative, mostly. Be prepared! Luckily, this affects both of you, so don't panic. There's a lot of space between Suave Steve and Trainwreck Terry. Make a list of topics if you need to be sure of being interesting. The good news is you are likely fascinating.
If you are listening, you aren't talking, so ask them about themselves a lot.
4: One leak does not sink the boat. If it doesn't work out, it's not you, it's not them, it's just practice for that right person.
5: Don't drink too much. It's not a good look.
That'll do.
Oh I forgot. Space is your God. Give you and the other space. The candle that burns twice as bright, etc. You'll either burn out the relationship or the other person. make every other/third day for yourself no matter how long it lasts.
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