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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 17:27:26 GMT
contrarymary is the 'Queen' of Edits she edits her 'edits' .....exquisitely, endearingly, entertainingly.....and endlessly a tweak here, a tweak there... like putting the finishing touches to a painting I began a novel in 1865, as you might imagine.....
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 17:24:49 GMT
I don't know if I'm just paraphrasing PD, but I think we are startled by our own thoughts.
Interesting thought.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 17:11:14 GMT
I think dissociation is something I've had a work where I swear blind I have not done something, usually a mistake or 'not best practice' (tedious term)and then proof is shown that I did and I stand there open mouth looking like a lying turkey, so not only has my inattention made me seem incompetent my dissociation makes me look dishonest too. This explains the average work span of three months, I suppose. It could also explain why I sometimes think appointments are completely different times than they usually. I used to argue that I was right and they were wrong. Not so much now! Maybe so or maybe it's just the wonky memory thing?
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 17:03:03 GMT
You don't often hear the Unthanks. . That's. Vixie the producer's fave. I vacillate between that and King Of Rome.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 16:54:05 GMT
It's an official disability/special need so you 'shouldn't' have a problem with a doctor's letter. (cold hearted bureaucracy notwithstanding).
You should, maybe, think about getting a short term coach to help at the appropriate time of year (or maybe the tax credit people have a disability helper?)
Hope that helps.
If those aren't available, then you can fall back on the CAB or local mental health advocacy schemes (I don't think there's anything national and we loosely come under mental health).
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 15:41:38 GMT
A simple paragraph of five lines needs to be edited six times..... And stared at for half an hour because it still seems fascinating.
(this only needed two edits.... So far)
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 15:38:27 GMT
bums missed it let us know when the weds repeats are ..? Will do!
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Post by anopheles on Feb 9, 2016 15:38:00 GMT
I'm not normally that talkative! Pixie slows the pace(necessarily!) plus, I was hyper before bed and it hasn't stopped yet. Double dose of mph when I get in or I'm going to be unbearable. Thank you for you nice words, they've really bucked me up!
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Post by anopheles on Feb 8, 2016 23:01:14 GMT
Every Tuesday 12-2pm. It's called 'The Unpop Music Show' because I play a little of everything apart from modern chart music, though we sometimes get surprised by something good. It can be found on www.ldok.net which is a learning difficulty and disabled radio station. Afaik, I'm the only ADHD presenter along with Pixie, my partner who is going through the pre-diagnosis prep. Pixie won't be on tomorrow (boiler problem). Tune in and listen to the dulcet tones of my whiny mancunian accent and listen to the joys of 'Radio Cribbage' (not tomorrow, need Pixie), 'Mr Know It All' (I know one fact about 99% of general knowledge stuff and if I don't, well, bullshitting is one of my super powers), 'The Future Today' (extreme tech news) and 'Fifty shades of Hey, we're all going to die', (planetary extinction possibilities and near misses). We are repeated on Sats 8am and wed 5am and Sunday 11pm. Been at it three years, so relatively polished!(See if you can count the deliberate mistakes ).
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Post by anopheles on Feb 8, 2016 22:40:52 GMT
If you are easily offended by something people with adhd say, or can't accept that we largely think with our mouths open and controlling our emotions is not one of our skillsets then your visit here is probably going to be uncomfortable.
Scale. We all need to judge the level of response necessary, wether it be shame at our mistakes or upset we should feel.
Also someone even cleverer than me said that offence can only be taken, not given.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 6, 2016 18:06:21 GMT
Scale. It's what we need to see in our leeeetle moments. You knock over a cup, that's small, a cup with something hot in it, is slightly bigger, scalding someone is big, destroying the last jade cup of the 3rd Ming Emperor is very big.
So we should learn to laugh at our... events. If we don't laugh, we cry.
So, I'll start.
Been at the gf's for two nights because she's been bad. I come back home and find that 'my smoke alarm' has been going off for two nights and has kept my upstairs neighbour awake. This is big as I've upset an neighbour. Fortunately, he doesn't work and took my apology well.
Turns out it wasn't my smoke alarm (which is good), but the alarm on the new DAB radio I brought that is so loud it could startle an oil tanker. I've been turning it off because I haven't, ahem, got around to sorting out the alarm yet. I'm sorting it out now and then I'm off to the CoOp to buy my neighbour a big packet of Chocolate biscuits.
And now I have a new thing to put on my 'pre-flight checks'.
Derp.
Edit: Two neighbours. Luckily he was ok too, which was surprising because I know he has a temper (paint incident on washing line and stone steps, a derp of yesteryear).
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 19:08:06 GMT
Relationships.
The giddy excitement of it all!
Of course, we feel it all and the added hyperfocus doesn't help.
Communication is the key. if, like me, your initial interest appears to wane as you go back to your steady state inattentiveness. This is sometimes mistaken for lack of interest and can cause the end of relationships as they jump before being pushed.
Talking of hyperfocus, let's be honest, it can look a lot like obsession. we need to be sure if our conscience and realise the other person is a person.
The good news, I think I that unlike true obsession, there's a chance to break it every time you leave 'the stimuli'.
I'd you have a group of friends have the keep an eye on you because you aren't going to find it easy to break the focus while you are in it.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 13:50:12 GMT
The trouble is we need apps to use the apps to help us use the apps...
I use easynote, but then I forget to use it for my 'pre flight checks' (wallet, keys, phone,etc).
Even notes pinned to doors quickly become invisible.
The only thing that remotely works for me is a box near my front door that keeps my keys wallet and other stuff in it. Plus keeping bags to my outside so if I forget them I remember when i go flying over them.
Actually, I've been thinking if the following to keep us fixed 'in time and space' and this is simply setting my phone to go off on the hour every waking hour, just to bring me back.
A kind of tether, if you like. I let you know how I get on. Try it with me, and let's see I it works.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 9:51:44 GMT
Happens with me at the cinema. Can't help shouting something at a shock.
Got me in trouble at work to. A rather matronly supervisor was flirting with the ID photographer and made a joke about saucy photographs. Can you guess who shouted; "Good God No!"?
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 9:46:39 GMT
Relationships are hard. I went through a lot of short relationships because after the 'love hyperfocus', my inattentive normality would return and, I think, my partners thought I had lost interest and jumped before being pushed. Also, because 'familarity is the enemy' sometimes I would stop concentrating and let something inappropriate pop out of my mouth, which did for a few girlfriends.
I'm now in a 7 year relationship with a woman who, mostly, understands me. Communication is the key to everything, but try to go easy on the over sharing.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 5, 2016 9:11:53 GMT
Before diagnosis I used to talk about 'walking through glue'. I would plot out a story, know what I wanted to write. But I couldn't make myself work, like walking through glue, which sounds like what happens when you can't leave a room.
I can't solve it for you, but our flexibility is the key, I think. I got writing because I wanted to please my partner (and show off, probably). The only time I tidy up is when I know guests are coming, because I can't stand people thinking I have a scruffy house.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 3, 2016 22:32:11 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing! And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us. Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame. That's not to say nothing can be done. Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account. Can you afford a coach? I hope things get better for you. It's frustration. Not having any control over what I find interesting. Head cold has made the last few nights easier as I'm too tired to stay up. I hate having so much mental energy, but burning like a bonfire when I want to be a laser.... If I could get moving, I could invent the Satellite Binoculars, the Mobile Phone Visor, the Electric Carpet tile and the Hover Copter. Some interesting thoughts about time travel too (lol, only joking. I can't work out how to solve the 'how to move a black hole problem' and the 'inevitable death of the traveler conundrum'). No coach. Wouldn't know where to begin, plus my money management skills with impulsivity is not good so not sure I could keep up regular payments. I didn't get on with CBT, too many tasks to do at the last minute or not at all. There are ADHD focussed CBT'ers out there, but I recently finished some person centered counselling which was good. I know myself and I'm trying to learn how to deal with the new me. The symptoms aren't so bad during the day as I take Concerta and the boost tablets. Can't take the boosters too late at night though in case it makes sleep tricky.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 3, 2016 10:56:08 GMT
Hyper focus occurs to me most nights when I tell myself I will get off the pc at 11 and it's nearer to 3am and tears are welling up because I just can't get off the damn thing!
And not being able to drag yourself away from 'the fascinator' so you do the 'necessary' in a limited time span is common to me and, I suspect, most of us.
Remember, and I wish I could hear my own advice, only deliberate actions deserve shame. given the choice, you would have done things differently and since our brains work against us, we shouldn't feel shame.
That's not to say nothing can be done.
Does your work know of your condition? They are obliged to make suitable adjustments to take your disability into account.
Can you afford a coach?
I hope things get better for you.
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Post by anopheles on Feb 2, 2016 13:48:00 GMT
is this still going?
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Post by anopheles on Feb 2, 2016 13:22:07 GMT
I object! 51 is young middle aged!
Hello and welcome. You sound like me;'That's just you being dozy", etc.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 31, 2016 16:38:32 GMT
Cor, wish I had been diagnosed before my master's course! My professor wondered if I was dyslexic because of my habit of handing stuff in with the pages in the wrong order. Never finished it because I procrastinated over the thesis too long.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 31, 2016 11:45:14 GMT
So I finally managed to badger my local MH specialist into seeing me, and after a fairly frank discussion, he prescribed me 27mg concerta. He told me that I should be feeling the effects after a few days, but that the dose might not be high enough for me. I was told that if I see no improvement and no side effects that I needed to come back for a higher dosage. Apparently it's up to me to decide if it's working or not. The problem is, I have no idea if it's made any difference. I was told that some of the most common side effects are insomnia and a loss of appetite, but I've naturally suffered with the first for half my life, and I habitually miss breakfast/lunch depending on what lectures I have on that day. Sure, I've been slightly more productive than usual, listening to my teachers as best I can and taking half decent notes, but my studies tend to go up and down anyway. I have a habit of telling myself I'm going to make a real effort this time around, and it lasts for a week or so before I end up staring into space and doodling again. It's been about a week, and... I don't know. Is it working? Is it the placebo effect? Did I get lucky with no side effects or am I just not noticing any difference? How am I supposed to tell? Do I just keep going and hope for the best or do I ask for a higher dose and see if I actually notice the difference this time? Oh, I just remembered, 27mg is a very low dose, so don't expect much reaction. They build you up a quarter dose at a time. You could ask for evening boosters (the 5mg fast acting, once or twice a day) if any effect in the future wears off in the evening).
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Post by anopheles on Jan 31, 2016 9:28:42 GMT
I'm on 57mg (3/4 dose) and I don't feel much difference. When I take two of the 5mg methylphenidate 'boosters' in the evening/instead of the concerts i feel very 'still'.
So I'll Go to the planned full dose and if I don't feel much difference, I'll ask if I can take 20mg of the fast acting.
The only side effect I have had was burning cheeks in the evening, but that soon passed.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 30, 2016 21:04:45 GMT
I wish i could be comfortable with myself.
I'd swap the all the intelligence, the creativity, the energy for consistency or the ability to do... anything in a heartbeat. I know my 'moments' are usually not my fault, but I wish something 'everyday' would just come naturally, but nothing does. I can't be trusted in kitchens, offices, anywhere. I'm only comfortable in my own head.
I wish there was a way to be asleep all the time. In my dreams I come alive.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 29, 2016 16:49:48 GMT
:-) Would be nice to see if there is a study that relates cultural habits to ADHD symptoms. Who knows, maybe we should all move to Italy! I've often wondered (before diagnosis) if I'd make as good a Italian as I am a bad Englishman (loud, demonstrative, emotional, warm, etc).
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Post by anopheles on Jan 29, 2016 12:37:36 GMT
This is a peculiarly English thing.
Don't offer something out of politeness if you expect no for an answer!
You always find out from a third person and it makes you feel like shit afterwards.
This is how I ended up, years ago, at the anniversary meal of my flatmate's parents. They asked, I was expected to say no, but Mah bwain just don't work like that.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 29, 2016 11:58:11 GMT
That's how spelling works for me! I suppose it could be that, unless we're in a very specialised field, we never get the practice with equations that we get with words.
The few words that trip me up (innate just looks better with one n(, are probably caused by perserversity, where it is difficult to relearn something that you initially learnt incorrectly, like a word, name or telephone number.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 29, 2016 1:04:38 GMT
When ai was younger I would learn quickly, sometimes by taking short cuts. Maths was relatively fun for me. I remember winning a chocolate bar (different days) for working out if you knew 6x8, for example, then you also knew 8x6. Until long division. I couldn't learn a short cut, nor could I get my head around the standard explanation, so I just stopped being able to maths.
There's also a weird memory thing going on. I am a really good, if careless occasionally speller. So I remember words perfectly. a word is just a shorthand for a thing, not the thing itself. A kind of code.
Show me an equation and with prompting I will solve it, but I won't remember how to a week later. This is odd, considering an equation is just a code for a thin too.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 28, 2016 15:43:06 GMT
When I was a boy, I'd lose myself in tv films. Not so much as an adult. Now, as an aid to sleep to stop circular thought processes, I drift off to different fictional universes and help / improve/ hinder as suits my mood. sometimes I take a companion (Tyrion Lanister, for example) for the ride.
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Post by anopheles on Jan 28, 2016 12:56:58 GMT
Be forgiving and understanding to yourself or you child, spouse or friend - to a point. This is not easy. Especially when the bath has been left to overflow three times in a week or when things have to be paid for twice. Nobody will be more ashamed or kicking themselves more than us. We don't need people joining in. 'To a point' means not letting us get away with murder. Strangers will have less compassion and understanding even when you don't have a blasé attitude to the trail of destruction we may leave behind us. It's not easy to find a balance between encouraging self loathing and encouraging self absorption. Talking. Mostly we do it because it help to control our racing mind. Most of it is wind. Ideas come, are spoken, and then forgotten. Try not to criticise it unless necessary (funerals, when you are trying to concentrate, etc) and do so gently. Again, not always easy. The carousel of interests. Schemes and big plans come and go. We find it hard to split our focus, so we suck all the life out of something for a while, then put it down. Most of the time we will come back to it on a carousel. You'll know if your likely to come back to it if we spend x amount of time on things. If it's less than x, then it's probably just a passing fad. I've never got on with lists and diaries, even at l1, but it's worth trying. Try to get into the habit of thinking you have to leave the house 30 minutes earlier than the actual time. Mt biggest cause of forgetting, losing, etc is not starting to get ready until 1 minute before having to leave. I'll add more later, family are dragging me out to join the wedding ceremony (not mine)!
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