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Post by manson88 on Nov 3, 2015 21:50:13 GMT
I think there's nothing wrong with the way @alec77 writes.
It makes pleasant easy reading for someone who is dyslexic.. It's simple reading and a joy to read...
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Post by manson88 on Oct 30, 2015 22:02:15 GMT
shiveringsky (without any offence) I kinda now how your friend feels.. That's how I feel when I'm trying to do something example parking the car. I'm a professional driver like @planetdave. I'm in the zone doing a risk assessment of parking the car and doing it in a safe manner. Then let's say my wife says boot lol. I take it personally. Why cause you are being focused and attentive on what you are doing then someone says boot and undermines me making feel in adequate. It was the same thing this year we had very little money and all she done all summer was complain about us having none and not getting away. In July I was depressed really low. She was making me feel worse. Feeling as if I was In adequate not being able to provide a holiday. Or provide for the kids. Then she started to dictate to me how we were going to spend a day in the summer. I wasn't included in the day but was expected to go along with it. I just felt trapped, confined, restricted, under pressure then my mood changed got really low scary stuff as well. Walking around tesco looking at blades for suicide idealism... When things go this bad it's time to do something about it... Scary Stuff, Now I have recovered, I have removed myself from the stress. I moved out a couple of weeks ago. The chains are broken from her. I only have to answer her text messages. I'm now going through the process of keeping in contact with the children and arrange agreement around access.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 28, 2015 17:43:25 GMT
Here here! I second your contribution.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 21, 2015 9:15:00 GMT
Well there's plenty of people intimidate me not just in the gym but in all areas of life.
Exercise is one of the most important thing in my opinion for mental health/Adhd.
I see its maintenance for the mind and body.. Even if it is just a stroll to the shop for an ice lollies. You are still moving getting out and about.
Your comments about being silly it's a valid point! We all build barriers in are own heads. Just do your thing and get on! Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Oct 21, 2015 8:46:24 GMT
@alec77 Enjoy reading your bum notes you need a column in some newspaper.
It could well be your calling!!
By the I'm one of those gym rats. Go to the gym lift some weights and slip home again lol... Minus the ipod of course!!
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Post by manson88 on Oct 21, 2015 7:06:26 GMT
I just wanna say well done for doing what you are doing!!!
When you have issues with your own health. You have given someone a home, a family, a job!
If a person has a job they have a purpose. Everything else follows.
Wow I just think it is special what you are doing for the young man...
Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Oct 19, 2015 22:32:37 GMT
Manson88 thanks man, but nah, writing is an intellectual art form I am just a bum A struggling bum that failed the bum test, well the physical part, I am ok on the theory There's a lot of folks read your bum notes so keep on coming on here to bum about cause it's a pleasure to read!
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Post by manson88 on Oct 19, 2015 22:26:22 GMT
You should write I'm just after reading this your right, tessaract Nicely spaced out and simple to follow pleasure to read.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 15, 2015 21:06:06 GMT
I'm on 18mg of concerta xl & melatonin.
I'm having great sleeps 7hrs + and proper solid sleep. Best sleep I have had in 20 years.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 13, 2015 21:00:18 GMT
Well I'd like to get a multi sensory test done.
Get tested for the other conditions. Possibly dysprixia and autism.
It's something that I would keep to myself. It's more curiosity than need. But I'd keep it to myself. Spose it only means to me.
I'm the only person who understands my own needs. I'm expert in my own condition.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 13, 2015 12:27:49 GMT
Hi manson88 18mg concerta had very little effect on me, even the great sleeping came to an end after a couple of weeks. I think they start you on 18mg to see if you have any distressing side-effects then start titration from there. I'm on 36mg now and my concentration is no better, I'm tired all the time and can't sleep. I think I'll need to increase it and I want to give it a chance, but I'm moving house, so don't know when I'll next see a specialist. I'd mention the good sleep and lack of distressing side effects at your follow-up appointment and let them know that you'd like to see if your concentration will be improved at a higher dose. I mentioned to my consultant that I'd been reading up about it and realise that 18mg is a very small dose and would like to continue at a higher dose. I hope it goes ok. Thank you vagueandrandom. I feel positive about 18mg of concerta xl. It least it's a bench mark I could stay at it if I had to. But I think it's probably a normal action for us to think like this. Give it a tweak and see what happens if it's too strong at least I know that 18mg works. My employer has already said that I'm doing well and my performance at work has been great. Even though at the moment I have moved out from my family a big change in life, but I didn't take the decision lightly. There's been a couple of days when the energy has been low but I feel better when the concerta picks up.. Thanks manson88
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Post by manson88 on Oct 12, 2015 17:30:38 GMT
How do I approach?
Ok this maybe sounds obvious, I'm on 18mg of concerta xl for 8 weeks now.
I'm for my psychiatrist appointment on Thursday.
Pros, sleep has got heavier, solid, sound. 7.5 hrs a night
Attention is much the same when I was on the Strattera..
I'm afraid to go in and say it's not working, but it is. I do understand it's a small dose.
I was going to go in and say I feel as if there's something going on. But my attention not the same as was on the Strattera on a small dose.
Any suggestions? Or am I expecting too much?
Thanks folks manson88.
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Post by manson88 on Oct 10, 2015 6:33:39 GMT
When you agonise over the wording of a basic text message, delete, repeat, delete, repeat......send something curt and direct by mistake. Once again look like a heartless douche. i know exactly what you mean but more often than not i dont send anything if i cant get the wording right the phone just gets lobbed somewhere! When you agonise over the wording of a basic text message, delete, repeat, delete, repeat......send something curt and direct by mistake. Once again look like a heartless douche. i know exactly what you mean but more often than not i dont send anything if i cant get the wording right the phone just gets lobbed somewhere! Lol how many times I have wrote a post & deleted it anxiety, wording, spelling, length of time to process /Adhd/ dyslexia /anxiety /loose the train of thought. Neurotypicals get it handy!!!!
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Post by manson88 on Oct 9, 2015 8:18:42 GMT
... when i lose control of sleep. i know i need to sleep, i know i need to switch off laptop/tv/phone, put down book, stop faffing around with the thing i've got my head into, but somehow i can't. i know i'm going to be exhausted, tomorrow will be a really hard day and i'm making it harder for myself, but still i can't stop and go to sleep. i know i was just getting on top of things, i could feel a little shift in feeling organised, grounded, balanced, but somehow i knock myself off balance by holding on to the day. i feel like a teenager with no self control. it's so beyond annoying that i can't even get frustrated. bums. What ever you are facing today I hope you have plenty of positive energy & everything will go smoothly! #Routeingforyou. Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 27, 2015 21:18:42 GMT
mikeI had a 100 miles over the weekend sitting here with the feet up having a cold beer.!
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Post by manson88 on Sept 26, 2015 21:58:33 GMT
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Post by manson88 on Sept 24, 2015 22:31:15 GMT
I love it when @planetdave and JJ share their experiences.. I'm personally on 18mg of concerta xl.. Sometimes we ponder things you go on a hyperfocus research bender and find nothing. Yea come on here and someone asks what your thinking! That's why I love the forum!! Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 23, 2015 20:54:28 GMT
Lol nothing like sitting laughing at yourself cause your so drunk on so little in short space of time lmaof!!
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Post by manson88 on Sept 23, 2015 20:18:55 GMT
The world always looks better when you have had a beer.. Or 2 lol!
Enjoy, reset and regroup for tomorrow. Cause tomorrow is another day!
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Post by manson88 on Sept 21, 2015 6:22:34 GMT
JJ I love your words, you describe a difficult situation. Well done your analysis is spot on. I actually read it a number of times but that is just me. I'm like a lot of people , I'm majorly affected by their actions. You know my circumstances at the moment. I can't get DLA, I can't get anymore text credits cause I don't work enough hours! Yes awarding people who work! It's really tuff then they are saying that they are over prescribing antidepressants!! Cause and effect?? It angers me the big companies like of Google and star bucks are running tax free. But I sure that if yours or mine circumstances changed they would be there with there hand out!! - you didn't tell us is what they would say! Modern day life is so difficult really is. Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 20, 2015 19:31:38 GMT
This is one of the issues I have. I'm at a cross roads in my life.
Life gonna change big time from being supported by a wife. Encouragement, motivation, direction & so on.
Its not the action of doing. There's nothing wrong with me, it's typical add/mental health issues would have the place in a mess in no time.
Sometimes less is better smaller house just one person in it. With a mess in each room! Lol
When you have less you possibly will look after it better. Be more mindful, caucus what you are doing.
The place that I could be going to there's a key worker for each resident.
It's that or back to mom...
#Noteasyimtorn Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 18, 2015 20:56:12 GMT
Oh so many words, so much truth .
The truth is that I have been through a load of crap in last number of years is on real.
It troubles me that I feel as if I have failed in a lot of things in life education, marriage, jobs and now my children.
It's not that I will not do it or don't want to provide. It's the fact that there's a number of conditions affecting me from providing a decent living wage. That's the problem in our marriage.
I'm fed up hearing from my wife that we have no money to do anything. What are we going to do. I take it personally as a dad you like to be able to provide.
I'm not feeling respected for what I do earn . Feel as if I'm unloved and uncared for. I feel as if I'm not her best friend. Isolated to a certain amount.
It feels like I have spent the last 17 years trying to plase someone who is hard to satisfy. Always put me under pressure to try and do better earn/provide.
Yea ok there was good times there holidays and cars which I worked towards to provide.
I can now see how controlling this has been. My issues surfaced in 2010.(which were already there) It wasn't a case of how it was going to happen, it was when. 7 jobs in 8 years the anxiety at this stage was starting to get crippling.
It's went round in a circles and nothing resolved truthfully. It's just got to the point where it's an emotional drain. Anyone with mental health issues will tell you it's hard staying stable when there is someone bringing you down.
I'm now coming under pressure from my mother. She is looking me to move back to her place. I don't want to I need time on my own to be me?
If I go back to mums I'm gonna be under pressure. There be no day off....
Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 13, 2015 23:05:53 GMT
Thank you petra, That rant is something that has been working on me for a long while! That to be honest is how I see the world. I have no time for professionals. But anyway we all can't be David Beckham and play premier league football. Some of us just have to stay in division 3...sad story is there is no way of getting out of it. The best thing that ever I got in my hand was my mobile phone. Cause I'm liberated, set free nearly from my dyslexic traits. But it's 2hrs typing then my anxiety would get in the way then delete half of it and start all over again. Or I'd loose my train of thought and get frustrated and have to set it down and come back to it. Hence,dyslexia, Add, anxiety disorders. If I where to write by hand I'd been even longer no one would be able to read it though. Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 13, 2015 14:54:42 GMT
RANT ALTERT!! My experience of a DLA tribunal. (no offence to anyone here) Why is though a system to help us being applying for benefits/getting a diagnosis getting the right support causes us so much stress??? You go to your appointment which your fairly stressed about. To be judged by someone who has been successful in life. With letters after their name and their 5 series BMW parked up outside. You get looked down at as if you are below them.. As your life wasn't had enough just to exist. But the feeling of being judgment is difficult. I didn't choose to be the person I am. I don't want to be here either. So why make me feel so uncomfortable. The panel of experts at a DLA tribunal are a doctor, a barrister and a disability lay person. Just for them to decide whether you meet the criteria. It's tuff... This is the bit I find the hardest! I'm no different than anyone else on here I need support, each day is different yes but I still need it. It's really frustrating system, when there's people telling us you have a disability you need support! Apply for the benefits. The reality is that you're not going to get on less they see you on your hands and knees which is unfair. Then you have the politicians saying if people don't apply for the benefits they are going stop setting the money aside for them. Then we network and here of are peers & their experiences of this system that causes us so much stress and we put off trying. The truth is this, the rich get richer and poor they stay the same! I can see how social deprivation happens. We are social excluded because we don't get what it takes to live a full live. Are life is restricted by are disabilities. Try looking for a job without qualifications. It's not gonna happen. Then people say go and get some we trapped by are own anxieties. Financially and academically... We are shunned to one side. Cause at school we didn't have what it took to achieve the success of are peers. I myself was left at the back of the class with a box of motors while the teacher took the rest of the class for English lesson. Cause of my dyslexia. Teacher just didn't have time for me. Are children suffer as well, even though they don't have a disability! Why cause it's social exclusion. Cause we dnt have the money to send our kids to the trips with the school or after school activities. Its fact that children that come from a poorer social economic back round don't do as well! Rant over manson88 The big flaw with the MSE is these assessments cause adrenalin/ stimulation for adhd'ers - I fear I appeared extremely on the ball at mine! Was half dead and exhausted for the rest of the day, but she didn't see that bit. That's the nature of the adhd aspect.
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Post by manson88 on Sept 11, 2015 9:02:21 GMT
I thought I was discrete lol ⬆
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Post by manson88 on Sept 11, 2015 6:29:11 GMT
manson88 thanks for the post ok so most likely caused by depression... so can adhd cause the depression? cant say i quite know where im going with this topic but lets tickle it and see if i laugh ! then i should know if im getting somewhere manson88 erm not being intrusive but when you say "From experience, medication makes it difficult as well, cause you find yourself work twice as hard for same pleasure if you can get it to work lol." could you enlarge? sorry that wasnt meant to be but i guess it is a pun! oh shit ok think i understand,i have done a fair bit of speed in my time and sex well that was never gonna happen. so sounds like im erm......insert whatever expletive you like.... dont think im liking this Well it's fairly simple some types of antidepressants cause interference with your reproductive organs. It says on the labels as well . I have noticed that it doesn't stop it from working. They just don't work as well or as effective as what they would or they might work too well!! Lol But if you are with your partner & she understands you, loves you dearly and respects you and gives you the time you need. It's only you has the issue to get over it? You gotta think about is it worth being on medication if it makes this issue in bed. Cause if she loves you she will not care about the small details and try help you find away round it should it mean going slow at things or doing things slightly different --lol. You will find a way. Depression I'm no expert, but a lot of my depression is caused by high levels of anxiety. Example, if I had an appointment tomorrow morning it would be on my mind all day long. My anxiety levels would be fairly high to the level were the anxiety would be crippling me. The next day I would be neckered - wrecked no interest in anything. Would be looking to lying on in bed and if I did get up I would have little motivation. Hope this helps.
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Post by manson88 on Sept 11, 2015 5:51:51 GMT
hey manson88 really sorry to hear that you are separating, and hope that this transition time is a helpful one for you Well let's look at the issues that cause us stress and then address them. That's all I have seemed to be doing for the last few years. Probably the biggest issue has been the marriage down the years. (cause & effect). Trying to live to orther people's expectations isn't easy. I don't regret getting married or having my children to whom I have them with. Cause some of it what I wanted at the time. I do think if I was treated differently and respected allowed to have some choices it could've been a whole lot more different. For better or worse. A part of me is annoyed that I didn't see what was going on. I can put it experience down to certain times and say to myself if I had been awake and seen that, maybe the outcome could've been different. Hindsight is a wonderful thing truthfully. I see my next chapter of my life as personal growth. I'm only 40 but I will be walking into it with my eyes fully opened and my hands ready to grab it. I'm striking out on my own, a flat my own pad. Yes there's going to be challenging times along the way with life, but that's what makes us. It's not what takes us down its how we get back up! I do have two beautiful children and I love them so much it's breaking my heart. It makes me cross that someone is going to fill there soft minds up that I was a bad dad and I walk away from them. I'm still going to be around 20mins drive away from where they live. Im planning on having a role with them in the future. I'm disappointed at myself for not being able to provide for them properly. It came up in one of the counselling sessions that the reason why marriages breaks down is not enough money or sex. My wife new what I was only a factory worker when I met her on a small wage . Was well aware I had dyslexia. But as life went on the pressures got bigger for me personally. I think things got a more difficult for me anyway. It's well documented that all relationships and marriages have their issues and challenges. Never mind having personal health challenges along the way. Such is life... Manson88
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Post by manson88 on Sept 10, 2015 20:27:51 GMT
I just wanna say that libido is one of the first things of interest a man looses when they are depressed.
But the orther thing sex increases pleasure- endorphins and dopamine levels. So to feel good about yourself you should still be trying.
From experience, medication makes it difficult as well, cause you find yourself work twice as hard for same pleasure if you can get it to work lol.
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Post by manson88 on Sept 9, 2015 6:18:24 GMT
Ok im in a similar situation.
I have a plan in place with time goals example dates set for action.
The truth is that the last 6 years have been crap tuff going. I have just waken up to the fact that I'm in control! Lol
So I have a plan in place and I feel positive about it cause if plan A doesn't work, well there's 25 others could! I'm in control!
Us adders have a neck of seeing things differently but sometimes we can't see it! We are great at putting up with things and trying to get a better result.
Example I was on strattera during the summer and I wasn't well. I kept at it thinking it would get better like the way It was when I first started taking it. But cause of the depression I was getting it tuff eating and sleeping a lot.
My orther half didn't even ask are you ok? Went on about crap in my ear about having no money - would like a holiday etc.
I had started counselling at the time for general support (1st July) . It came up that my work life balance, the support I have at work, my gp, my life style - keeping fit living well etc were all very good (very important structure for us with Adhd ).
Though my wife was & is making it hard for me. Always expecting more putting me under pressure and has done down the years . Doesn't get it that I can only cope with so much stress. Doesn't understand or grasp the fact that the condition changes from day to day. Doesn't get the fact we need structure for security!
She was asked two years ago to go for marriage counselling but she wouldn't go she's to proud.
I don't feel loved, cherished, respected, or important. I'm spose to be her best friend.
So I have had enough, done the research. I'm moving out. It's gonna be tuff cause of the benefits system I'm being penalised me as I don't work enough hours.
But the most important thing is that the support is there.
I would suggest to you get yourself into counselling service some were to work through the issues..
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Post by manson88 on Sept 9, 2015 5:15:19 GMT
Today, I would like to put my brain in room 101. And I'd like to put sleep hygiene in there too cos that's a lie. Love my concerta sleep, don't sleep... Just switch off lol 7 straight hrs off pure sleep best I have slept for years!
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