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Post by Kathymel on Feb 18, 2016 15:26:34 GMT
those of us who live with conditions can often feel what is not working, be aware of what is wrong, have insight and ideas worth sharing - and few opportunities, let alone paid opportunities. and often other people are paid to say to groups of others what we have said to them, and indeed might have said with greater integrity, authenticity and understanding. strangely there was a 10 min talk on the radio this morning about this... hereAwesome. Another facet to be added to my dissertation. I've talked about hearing-led, deaf organisations dictating what is best for deaf people but, for some reason, hadn't extended it to the ADHD side. Tom Shakespeare is one of the most respected academics writing on lived experience of disabilities. So glad you posted this.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 18, 2016 15:00:24 GMT
And maybe why I get 'that look' when someone says 'Oh, I forget my keys sometimes, maybe I have ADHD'? All of what you said, but I particularly liked the last sentence. My ex started claiming ADHD almost as soon as I'd finished explaining it. He has a history of catching every illness I've ever had as soon as I got it, with the result that I never got any sympathy when I was ill. When he said he thought he had it too, he caught one of the most explosive rants of our long relationship given that he has always been my most enthusiastic critic. Don't get me wrong, he's lovely - he can just be a twat, sometimes.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 18, 2016 14:41:24 GMT
Poor you. Horrible amount of stress. It makes me wonder how much education GPs get around issues like this. Is there, like, one module in their degree that discusses every phobia/anxiety/disorder that a patient might present with, but if they don't choose to do their essay on the ones we've got, they don't learn about it in depth? I'm kind of hoping your GP is near retirement so that might excuse them from having an up-to-date understanding.
I'd always assumed my dislike of phones was a consequence of not growing up with one in the house. My mum didn't get one until I moved away. I'd rather drive to see someone than phone them, even when they're half an hour or more away. I've got all-you-can-eat calls but I rarely phone anyone and have to really work myself up to phoning people I don't know well. I wonder why this seems to be an ADHD thing?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 18, 2016 14:27:03 GMT
I guess i just need to swallow my pride and do it, I think I just struggle so much with hating myself and like I want to excuse how crap I am doing with it being ADHD and stuff but I know I could have structured my time soooo much better. And I guess I am at 4,600 words but a lot is notes so like 3500 of words and I feel a lot of it is nonsense. I know exactly how you feel. I still piss myself off on a daily basis and hate it when I mess up. I know it feels like you're having to swallow your pride, but I think it's linked to not really accepting just how disabling ADHD can be. Having this disorder puts you at a real, significant disadvantage to other students. It wouldn't be classed as a disability and have money thrown at it if this wasn't the case. So don't feel like you are less of a person because you can't cope as well as other people. Think of it as having a mental wheelchair in a world with no ramps. One of my personal rules for trying to cope is, "Do it now." I look forward to hearing your tutor's response. When is your deadline, by the way?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 17, 2016 23:18:33 GMT
I really like the idea of setting small deadlines but I think I am pretty afraid of firstly admitting how little work I have done but also that I will fail, I think I need a more solid plan for the disso like I need to read the source more I think. I talked about this to my tutor today. This is roughly what he said: Firtly, your tutor is very, very used to students being way behind the point they are supposed to be at. He guarantees that your tutor will have had students in his office two or three weeks before their deadline, crying because they haven't done anything. Secondly, your tutor is there to help you and wants you to succeed. He can't do that if you don't tell him that you are struggling. Thirdly, your tutor is not going to be cross with you. He will be pleased that you haven't left it until it is too late for him to support you. If you put off telling him until you've done more, you are almost certainly setting yourself up for a bigger fail. If you haven't been able to do it by yourself up to now, why do you think it will change? It is part of the accepted profile of ADHDers that they cannot motivate themselves in the same way as others, but need external motivation like deadlines to help them. Didn't you say you'd done 3,000 - 4,000 words? That's roughly where my deadlines say I should be at.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 17, 2016 12:32:53 GMT
Hi there.
I'm doing my dissertation at the moment, too.
I had two extra years in which to make life easier for myself, but did nothing and didn't actually start it (apart from writing the proposal last Sep) until the beginning of Feb, 2 1/2 weeks ago. Despite that I have caught up and am doing quite well.
The secret is deadlines. I explained about the ADHD problems to my tutor and said I needed more and stricter deadlines. He came back with a deadline for every week from Feb 5 to April 15. It's made a world of difference. I have to show him an outline, followed by a draft, followed by the revised item for every chapter. Each chapter is spaced out over a few weeks and interwoven with deadlines for other chapters to allow for some distance between revisions to get perspective.
I didn't get my DSA form in until a few weeks ago, so I've not had any support as yet, but I'm seeing a mentor for the first time next week. Not sure how much good it's going to do, as I'm quite far along with it, now.
Even without a proper diagnosis, if you can tell your tutor you are going through the process, s/he tutor should make adjustments for you.
I imagine you probably have issues with structuring work as well and find it difficult to hold a paragraph in your head to see what it looks like as a whole (or even a long sentence, sometimes), which makes actually being able to stand back and see the diss. as a whole almost impossible. Ask your tutor if someone can support you on this if it's a problem.
You may also have problems with perfectionism, finding yourself unable to move on until a word, sentence or paragraph is perfect, which interrupts flow and wastes time. I find, even writing a rough draft, I waste hours fiddling with tiny details, swapping sentences round and back again, slightly changing the wording, agonising if a paragraph is in the right place. I haven't found the answer to this one, yet.
Hope that helps a little. Off to see my tutor now and late as usual. Please ask if you can think of any way in which I can help. Kathy x
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 23:16:05 GMT
Hi Rachael, welcome to the forum. I'm just finishing my third year at uni and I completely get where you are coming from with regards getting concepts you completely understand intellectually written on to the actual paper. It's a nightmare and your tutors should be making adjustments for this. What support are you getting? You say you got funding but what was this for? I have been given two computer programs. The first is a mind-mapping program because I find it impossible to structure essays. The second is a program that reads what is on the screen, so I can just listen to what I've written - so much easier than reading the stuff! Had I applied for funding earlier in my course, I would have got an ipad, too. There is an excellent book (audiobook, too) called 'Smart but Stuck' by Thomas Brown. It explained so much to me about why I was struggling. Even some of the up-to-date practitioners do not understand the real reasons people with ADHD struggle. It's way more than simply being unable to concentrate - Thomas Brown really gets it in this book . Edit: I also get 15 hours study support and 15 hours mentoring.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 20:47:57 GMT
The boss has even started telling me I don't need to know how things work. My son and I talk about this often. We quite often get distracted by thinking about how things work, whether it's the inner workings of a door handle, the mystery of some couples' relationships or the coding of a game (him, not me). Not saying this is an ADHD trait specifically, but my son is convinced it is. Maybe it's a way of increasing motivation by understanding why something is necessary ... ?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 20:35:24 GMT
That went well Doctor didn't know there was anything for adults without prior diagnosis and was pleasantly surprised when I gave her the NICE guidelines with the appropriate parts highlighted. She wrote the referal straight away and asked if she could keep the copies of the letters from work to send with the referal. We then had a bit of a giggle about my school reports They too will be passed to the MHT. Talked a bit, some related, some not, a nice chat. Timescales unknown but the ball is now rolling That's great. So good to have a GP who is prepared to listen when they realise they are mistaken. I hope your MHT are as good. It may take some time from here on in. Some Health Authorities have very long waiting lists. Fingers crossed. Did you tell your work about the possible ADHD, yet?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 18:21:34 GMT
I don't need much of an excuse for eating chocolate and marzipan, but this one sounds like a wonderful one.
I love your picture, Marion.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 14, 2016 17:40:21 GMT
I often suspect these things of having been done deliberately to stop people complaining. Did you get anywhere in the end?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 12, 2016 22:18:56 GMT
Therein lies the problem Kathymel. Unless ADHD becomes a recognised condition across the whole of the NHS then, it's never going to attract high quality research. But is it the problem? I'm currently writing a dissertation about ADHD and there are mountain ranges of research about ADHD that cover pretty much every sub-topic under the sun (and it shouldn't matter whether the NHS has done its own or not). It's the most researched neurobiological condition on the planet. (And still they manage to push it under the rug). I agree that recognition is a hugely important goal to aim for, but they need to recognise all the empirical research, not just the popular stuff. For that to happen, we need to increase awareness among ourselves, so that we can propagate it among others. That's why this discussion is as important as any other. And really, why should one preclude the other? I can do both.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 12, 2016 21:39:20 GMT
Kathymel, your link says it all "May be greater for Girls than Boys" We're a long way off having a definitive answer. No one is going to say there is a definitive link until far more research has done, however, their observations showed significantly greater effects on girls within some contexts - enough to warrant more research. Likewise boys with the combined subtype were observed to show relatively more adjustment problems.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 12, 2016 21:19:03 GMT
Some types of ADHD are more commonly recognised than others.
Boys and girls with ADHD (H/I) are more likely to get diagnosed than boys or girls with ADHD (PI).
What can we do to raise awareness and change this?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 12, 2016 20:39:55 GMT
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 23:46:02 GMT
I was being assessed for depression a few years back and the counsellor gave me a scrap of many-times photocopied paper with some multiple choice questions on it which seemed to be the only thing she used to make her decision. The fact that I could totally lose myself in books and films was supposed to indicate that I wasn't that depressed.
I didn't argue at the time - what do I know - but I've since realised that those are the only two things that shut up the internal babble. They're literally the only escape when I'm beating myself up internally - and beating myself up internally is the reason why I got depressed in the first place.
I spend a lot of time losing myself in books and films, simply so I don't have to listen to myself.
So, by this reasoning, is this phenomenon part of the scope of ADHD experience, or is it a coping mechanism? Or are we doing different things entirely?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 23:17:01 GMT
or getting stuck in what comes up Yup. Know that one.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 23:03:38 GMT
... when your ADHD son has to phone you at home to remind you that you should have already left to pick him up to go to see Deadpool - a film you've been waiting for, trawling Youtube for and talking about for months and are so excited about you can barely sit still.
Just made it in time! And it was SO worth the wait!!! Want to see it again. Now.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 22:56:15 GMT
I wired the overhead light for my hob into the oven/hob wall switch. If it's on I know I haven't switched it off.
The trouble is, it's a phasing LED light and I quite like it gently shifting colours in the background. It does make sure I switch the stove off if I leave the house, though, which is the main thing.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 22:41:05 GMT
Hi EasilyD.
Well done for passing your exam. What C.Mary said is dead right. Last minute stress and deadlines are one of the few things that motivate an ADHDer. Very handy at times.
Try to go easy on yourself. Finding out about all this stuff is bound to fry your brain.
It took me months to assimilate all the information and to understand the ways in which ADHD impacts on me. I'm sure most people on this forum would say similar.
Don't expect too much of yourself, just because you now know why you struggle. Knowing is a good portion of the battle, for sure, but give yourself time to adjust.
You'll maybe need to work on developing coping strategies and that will take time.
You did good today, give yourself a pat on the back for that.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 10, 2016 22:31:35 GMT
I stood next to the grill both the last two mornings in an effort to not burn the crumpets (shop was out of bread and they won't go in the toaster), but I still had burnt crumpets both mornings. I need to put my laptop in a different room, except there isn't one.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 18:13:05 GMT
I can't remember what the game/ap was called off the top of my head. It worked brilliantly for a while, but then you had to start adding more and more things to get the points to get to the next level and it started taking over my life. I ended up putting EVERYTHING on it, divided into steps to try to earn enough points and it got so boring in the end.
It was fab while it worked, though. I got all manner of daily chores done. The dog even got walked. And fed.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 17:08:20 GMT
A simple paragraph of five lines needs to be edited six times..... And stared at for half an hour because it still seems fascinating. (this only needed two edits.... So far) And this goes for every single sodding paragraph in my dissertation.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 16:53:56 GMT
I absolutely bloody loved my oestrogen coil. It reduced everything to a trickle, physically and scattinessly(?). Had it removed cos someone suggested it could be a cause of some back nerve pain I was having. Haven't got round to having one put back yet, of course.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 13:41:40 GMT
That was really lovely, how you just talked about your aunt.
Really enjoying the show.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 12:04:38 GMT
That reminds me, I must go to the bank. I have two cheques in my purse that are over 2 months old. I have had to get cheques reissued before now because they have become one with my purse.
I also haven't:
1. Made an appointment with my GP for dodgy vision issue referral (and soooo many other more minor things that I just can't get round to seeing her about.
2. Done the washing up.
3. Laundered the mildewed clothes I found in my drawer (very damp house, bad landlord, long story).
4. Paid the £90 library fine for not returning my uni books.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 9, 2016 1:33:50 GMT
Hi Bonji.
Great to hear that your suspension has been lifted. What a relief that must be! Did they manage to explain clearly why it had happened in the first place?
I hope they are going to apologise for all the stress they caused if there was no fault on your part?
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 8, 2016 23:45:03 GMT
Someone I was going out with once told me that labels were unimportant and that he didn't like them. He was referring to the fact that I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of a species of bird or something and I was getting annoyed with my brain.
I thought, how would we talk to each other without labels? Ornithologists would have to say, "I saw one of those ... um ... flying things the other day, the ones with the curved things on the front of their ... um ... oh, you know the part that goes at the front with the two thingys on it that they use to see with."
I know that's taking it to ridiculous extremes, but we need labels in order to be able to know what each other is talking about. We just need the label not to become the only thing that defines something, if that makes sense.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 8, 2016 23:16:44 GMT
Lesley (how come I typed Lesley, the link thingy showed Lesley, but the @ name I'm seeing is your previous name?) Anyway, the trousers aren't stuck in the machine, they just got abandoned a couple of days ago when I got interrupted half way down the (awkward, thick, waxed cotton) seam. Edit: OK, it says Lesley here. It just doesn't say it when I'm typing. Confusing.
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Post by Kathymel on Feb 8, 2016 23:08:31 GMT
I love that there's a learning difficulties radio station.
I shall try to catch your show tomorrow (if I remember to tune in, obviously).
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