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Post by computermandan on Nov 14, 2017 14:10:42 GMT
We think our middle daughter (now 12) is like me... very innatentive and shy/awkward etc.
We haven't sought diagnosis for similar reasons. And she copes like i did (just about) with school. Teachers when mentioned dont have a clue about the types and look at us odd when explained. So we gave up.
Instead using what worked for me amongst other things to try nd help her thrive somehow. The worst is friendships etc are minimal. Made worse as sisters going to parties and sleepovers all the time... its not that ppl dont like her she just doesnt think to invite ppl and doesnt get that deep with ppl too.
I would play it by ear as it seems you are and if you think extra support is needed prob best to approach school formally as we found informal a waste of time
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Post by computermandan on Nov 14, 2017 14:03:41 GMT
I found my way here at 35 and was diagnosed at 36 (now 37) BECAUSE i was having relationship issues. "Why cant i pay attention when i really want to" "Why do i drift off mid conversation" "Why can I never get things finished" "Why does wife say I'm a 4th child?" Just a few of the less dramatic (not so relationship related) google searches that started things. I'd been treated for depression with meds and counselling and it frustrated me and the counsellor that I couldnt do things i set out to do EVER. Agree re Melissa Orlov's book... i have it on kindle and in 3 years am about half way thru - its like reading a story about myself... the whole parent:child syndrome. It makes sense and my wife agreed.... getting her interested enough to help work on it together has been trickier tho. She just wants me "fixed" and embarrassed by FB and twitter posts... to outsiders the opine is generally "move on dude" but life is complicated eh. Maybe when the kids are bigger we can get it right together and I'll try not to drag everyone behind with me lol. Man this sounds depressing... lol. The book and the site adhd and marriage... really helps (at least make sense of things!!) keep smiling and swimming in the mean time
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Post by computermandan on Nov 14, 2017 13:52:48 GMT
Hi Marionk, Yep, absolutely correct, no yearly review with my specialist. In fact my specialist said he was "discharging" me back to my GP (I have a letter to my doctor asking him to provide prescriptions, with a handwritten note saying "Will require 6 monthly BP & pulse in your surgery - NICE guidance"). I haven't actually seen my specialist since 2012. My GP was the one who told me to take the most recent break. He's been the one telling me to take breaks throughout, as I said I've not spoken to the specialist since mid-2012 and I was only started on the meds in early 2012, so I hadn't even been on them a year when my specialist "discharged" me. That's why I was surprised when they told me there wasn't anything in his notes, because he's the one who's handled all the treatment breaks, and told me when to take them, and when to stop, so I would think he'd have had to have notes to remind him about it. I don't actually remember when he last told me to take one. It certainly felt like it had been a while, which is why when I didn't hear from them, I dropped off my prescription as normal. According to my GP surgery the last Concerta prescription they gave me was in September 2016 and I've verified with my pharmacist that this is correct. The thing is, my GP would always call me when he wanted me to re-start the meds, but this time I didn't hear from them. In hindsight I probably should've made a note myself, instead of trusting them to be on top of things, but I didn't. I guess I have to accept I'm at least partly responsible. The thing is, I knew the surgery had changed name (it was previously both a regular GP surgery and a walk-in centre but their license was due for renewal or something at the end of last year, and they were rejected, so they wrote to tell patients that it was no longer a walk-in centre and was changing name) but not that my GP had left. In fact when I just checked their page on nhs.uk it still shows my GP as being a doctor there, but the receptionists told me that he left months ago. If I'd known my GP had left I could have gone in to speak to whoever was taking me over as a patient straight away, just to make sure they knew about my ongoing treatment. I hadn't needed a doctor's appointment for anything else, so I've literally only just found out about this last week. When my previous GP moved, she told me she was moving, so I knew what to expect. At the end of the day I guess I have nobody else to blame but myself, but it's frustrating to put your trust in your doctors and have them mess up their end of the deal. No no no this is so not your fault in any way!!! We are all in the hands of medical professionals for treatment and guidance... there is no way i can see it being reasonable to suggest you following instruction means you dont need something a formal diagnosis says can help you. Never mind the forgetful part... seriously that is part of the package imo. Mildly concerned myself now as I've been on repeats without review since may 2016 and GP told me not to bother making appts for BP checks etc if i have a machine and EVEN suggested I take my own path for titration! Bizarre circumstances we find ourselves in
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Post by computermandan on Nov 14, 2017 13:46:50 GMT
I'm so sorry you had such a lousy assessment. While I don't want to put words in your mouth, I suspect that had the specialist listened to you, heard you out, but still come to the same conclusion, you would have felt much better. Instead it sounds like you were dismissed out of hand using what sound to me like fairly superficial things ("She brought papers in a folder. She can't have ADHD if she can use a folder!" What next "You managed to dress yourself this morning, so clearly you're not chaotic or disorganised"?) and perhaps even formed her opinion before she'd even seen you. It seems like she was only looking for the most extreme of indicators of ADHD, a worst-case scenario, whereas it's commonly referred to (and the specialist who assessed me wrote this in his report) as a "spectrum". Again, I'm not saying you have ADHD (I'm not a specialist and it would be wrong for me to make a diagnosis), but it seems like you didn't get a very thorough or fair assessment, to me anyway. Seeking a second opinion is definitely a good idea. Even if the conclusion is the same, you deserve to be heard and listened to and have your diagnosis (or lack thereof) properly explained to you. It doesn't seem like you had a very understanding doctor, quite frankly. So much better put than my nonsense. Totally agree!
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Post by computermandan on Nov 11, 2017 12:44:26 GMT
Hi, wow its been a while since looked at forums lol.
I'm actually in Beds and so with no adult service was referred direct to Maudsley... apparently theyre trying to setup an adult service with ELFT(?) but when GP tried to refer me they still only just about provided for children.
I had heard about a service in Aylesbury (intrigued as I'm in Dunstable so not far).
I'm sorry it was a bad experience for you. I can only say it was different at Maudsley and they were very understanding of what seems like a VERY similar situation. Maybe there is some way for a second opinion at the same location if the GP won't refer elsewhere?
I hate all this postcode roulette nonsense... it seems not only location but specific 'assessors' can provide such a different experience of services it is the stuff of nightmares.
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Post by computermandan on Jun 24, 2017 23:02:31 GMT
Oooh. . .just got the response from my PALS enquiry. . "Further to your email below, I can confirm that the position has not changed. At present we are not commissioned to provide any diagnostic or treatment service for adults with ADHD. Our current service is for children diagnosed with ADHD who are prescribed medication; we continue prescribing when they become 18. We are currently working with Hull Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG) in putting forward a case to deliver an adult ADHD service but we have no current timescales or guarantees a service will be commissioned in the near future. We are sorry for the situation you find yourself in." So . .Hull CCG lied to the ombudsman. . . .hmmmm. . . Jeez what a complete bunch of PITAs Hope you can get this sorted asap or they pull their fingers out and get services running properly
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Post by computermandan on Jan 25, 2017 20:05:16 GMT
I'm a little bit in No Mans land myself... I was prescribed by gp on maudsley recommendation... gp just kind of left me to it... at one point got to 60mg twice a day - but i rechecked the maudsley letter and it said a max of 100mg a day... been waiting months for a review because GP cant/isnt qualified to make a decision. It must be helping because I stopped for a month and family noticed return of symptoms. So im still taking it but at 20mg x3 for now.
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Post by computermandan on Jan 8, 2017 12:32:37 GMT
Yep communicating is crucial... im hopeless on that front.
You leave things and they build up in your mind, then become this bigger hurdle to overcome.
I've been married 13 years and together 15... she still hates that i cant talk to her comfortably. Like V&R - i'm either over the top and so generally knocked back, or completely disengaged. As mentioned ive very recently noticed the asd traits of this emotional inability.
Definitely communicate.
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Post by computermandan on Jan 5, 2017 1:31:50 GMT
You know I'm confused and coming round to the idea that my catholic upbringing somewhat blinkered my own conscious thoughts early on. I had a remarkably open, frank and enlightening chat with my soon to be 13 year old daughter a couple of months back. She took me totally by surprise with how both open minded, self aware and confidently sure of herself she was/is. I'm not remotely affectionate with my parents.. it weirds me out. If i think to much about it I'm the same in the physical sense with my kids, as they grow up I find it awkward to kiss them goodbye etc... which is kind of a daft thing... they're my little girls for goodness sake! Anyway this convo with the eldest... she said something like "I'm bisexual" which set dad alarms off, in the "crap i haven't waffled on stupidly about something i didnt really mean did I?" sense. Lol Anyway she admitted shed not mentioned it because she thought I'd be upset. Not that she wasn't straight, but because she's "labelled" herself aged 12. So on realising dad was like "ah ok fair enough" ... she went on to elaborate... turns out she doesn't know/care if she likes boys or girls more than the other because she fully intends to be closer to the people she likes and who like her and if "love" arrives then that will be the person... so she's turned my mind inside out by simply making the totally logical choice of removing the society expected default of "straight" until otherwise and replaced it with... "undecided but open to ideas"... Maybe after all it was ok to upset mother by refusing to get the kids christened "just because" Funny old world we live in... im learning to have more empathy a i go on
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Post by computermandan on Jan 5, 2017 1:11:52 GMT
Woah peety I'm surprised no replies... i guess its a little personal and difficult to open up... I've spilled on here before so will now. Your post is like my life from around 2008 to 2016... with a few lows edited out perhaps. I'm bright and buzzy and down the rabbit hole focused since starting a new job in Nov... but it wasnt my doing. I was with my last employer 10 years. They and my boss were dragging me down big time. In a bizarre twist of fate and manipulation, in may 2015 I disclosed my depression which evolved into an ADHD assesment... by sept 2015 i was having my performance monitored and in typical add !*!EMERGENCY!*! fashion I worked through it and escaped punishment... then i drank too much at the Jan 2016 xmas do and didnt turn up for work... and received an instant final(and first!) written warning... got my adhd dx in Feb and meds by april(ish). hurt my back in may (not at work), signed off until august... went back to work still injured and got made redundant the same day! The monkeys! I got lucky... their healthcare was used to get a back op in sept and i applied for a job in oct, and got offered the job... learning cool new stuff. Anyway... i spent a good five years wishing i was elsewhere and without knowing it REALLY drags you down. Im certain it makes symptoms worse and really doesnt help relationships at all. I would never have got round to finding new jobs if i wasnt forced. Maybe the BEST plan is to seriously get your partner on board to help you seek and apply for alternatives perhaps? As for the relationship bits... well my roller coaster marriage is still being clung onto for dear life. I dont help with my inconsistency... "like a 4th child", "fine before you found adhd", "get up you child!", "you remember things you want to! You just dont care" etc etc etc... you learn to suck it up a bit knowing its damaging all the same. honestly I love my wife, after 13 years marriage and a near train wreck at 9.5 years... my lack of attention, interest and "get up and go" led to wandering eyes (and texts) but thankfully nothing more. I dont blame her but I refused to blame me either! I totally took the blame back then. Hunted down "why cant i do this" on the web and discovered ADHD like my eyes had been opened. Taking the medikinet/methylphenidate now helps and the job has been a big boost. I hope it lasts. My relationship has improved, as has my wifes accomodating of me and my different needs and quirks. Its not perfection but its healthier and whilst i still worry and the self deprecation doesnt go away I know theres a way forward, when i just saw a brick wall previously. As for the EVEN MORE personal stuff... well I've no idea... im not sure it even works still haha. Essentially (essay aside) get yourself in order first. Be your best you - the one where you're happy with yourself. The one where if a bump in your life path hits unexpected, you know you were at your best and you did all anyone could ever ask. The rest I'm pretty sure will fall into place. You know its so easy to forget how attractive a happy person can be. I was miserable for way too long... im sure it'll return at some point but I've got my eyes open ready this time! My direct advice.... talk. Even if it's just nonsense. I bet she wants to both vent her sadness and get onto the future with the happy stuff too with you. Share ADHD stuff (try not to go overboard) - see if she can get on board to encourage rather than nag about forgotten washing etc (still working on that too!) and do fun stuff... (i keep forgetting this!) I wish you the best! Sorry for long mumble too!
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Post by computermandan on Jan 5, 2017 0:34:38 GMT
Oh my zoning out.... i'm so glad i did an IT degree where the lectures were recorded and put on the web later... the amount i forgot or got mixed up or was physically but not mentally prresent for... no surprise i scraped a pass. Blissfully ignorant to my issues back then... ho hum I get a bit "chatty" now around half an hour after a dose of mph. But its nots just chatty... im alert and absorbing too... feel a bit like I reckon a meerkat might on high predator alert... (hmm bizarre example!) Lol
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Post by computermandan on Jan 5, 2017 0:23:31 GMT
Having a long overdue nose about... out of interest what kind of exam are you taking? I hate those toilet cubicles without doors test centres but I've done SO many IT exams in them I've kind of perfected my own strategies... honestly there is only one way to do well for me. Consume practice papers as if they are brain food... an absolute stressy nightmare of a reading procrastination mega hell... but it works for me in the end. If it's IT based them "braindumps" and many others - its the familiarity with the waffling background text that means i dont end up reading Q1 fifteen times before I'm happy i didnt answer backwards Shout if i can be of any help... i THINK this tapatalk app will notify me?? Good luck with it otherwise!
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Post by computermandan on Oct 15, 2016 10:49:13 GMT
Hi contrarymary. Yes they paid for me to get legal advice. The solicitor actually went through the last two years with me. From advising my employers i was being assessed for adhd, onto the performance monitoring, the warning i was given etc then the redundancy. She pretty much told me outright that they were out of order. The monitoring was focused entirely on the issues i had outlined as to why i was being assessed. The written warning was 'draconian' and there was no verbal warning first. Also the redundancy was rushed, pressured and haphazard at best and did not follow the exact legal process. However she added it would be difficult to prove. I didn't really have the energy/heart to go after them in that sense so opted to allow the legal rep to speak to them to see if they would improve their settlement offer with the issues in mind. They didnt. I took the offer mostly because i needed a change, hopefully for something with more structure to guide me a little. But mostly to get away from being managed by the individuals in charge of me. Also they threw in a further 12 weeks ongoing private health cover that i had with them. This was key because it allowed me to get the spine op which has improved daily life so so much. So whilst a little harsh on their part i think im happy with the outcome in general. I had a telephone interview on thursday and now been told they want to see me at the end of the month for the dreaded face to face interview lol. So positives Also I spoke with the nice GP (yes i know i didnt get a new one yet) He put me back on the mph because it would seem it made more difference (better) for me than I realised. I have been so forgetful, so bad at everything and so demotivates its silly since coming off it a month ago. Also he has referred me back to maudsley for review admitting there is no local adult adhd service and showing me the letter from the local asd service provision stating maudsley is the only option. So even more good things We're on a roll! I have setup a website that goes to a facebook page. Its a little half baked at the moment but hope to get there soon Http://www.adhdan.com
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Post by computermandan on Sept 29, 2016 21:24:09 GMT
Came out the other side of the spinal Op. Feeling much much better on that front. Ready to tackle the world again once Im allowed. New GP and then a job are the first tasks to get sorted... Its so strange to wake up and the sciatica was gone. Just a little fragile and sore around the stitches. Made me wish they had a magic fix for ADHD... Ho hum onwards
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Post by computermandan on Sept 22, 2016 11:19:55 GMT
☺ thank you. I do believe Addiss could at least offer support if nothing else. I've heard good things of them
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Post by computermandan on Sept 22, 2016 10:44:15 GMT
That i am not sure how effective it would be for this... aiming more informative to be honest... i don't have the perseverance for serious things... however i've been told by a friend that ADDISS can be very supportive in this kind of thing... might be worth contacting them?
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Post by computermandan on Sept 22, 2016 6:21:12 GMT
Thanks kw and annie Op went well... turns out my lowest disc (l4/l5) had split in two and half had gone a wandering through a gap in my spine ! Long way to go yet as I have a nicely banana shaped spine to boot so once recovered we will be addressing that next... Got a few weeks to get up and running again so I've decided to start new twitter, instagram and facebook accounts/pages to push adhd awareness... i'll post details once they're active and hopefully interesting. (Might be a while as a guess) Also need to find a job to pay the bills so i have my lovely wife helping me prioritise tasks - oddly enough the operation and time off has helped us communicate and become closer again. I now have my own wipe/white board i can list tasks and mark them off of every day. Its both a motivator and also helps my OH see the bits I've done because I am great at forgetting what I've done and massively underselling my greatness making me look a little more than just disorganised at times! The removal of work pressures has actually had a kind of a reset effect so i can clean some slates and start daily life with a clear mind. I shredded 15 years of paperwork the week before my op for example Anyway the adhd side i will need to make an app with a new GP -this is my next step - i just dont want any confusion to occur midway thru getting the back sorted... always the drama! ONWARDS!
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Post by computermandan on Sept 20, 2016 5:22:47 GMT
Under the knife today. See you all on the other side
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Post by computermandan on Sept 8, 2016 10:29:06 GMT
So where to from here? I know that's a question you may not feel able to answer, given the very conflicting advice your Gp has given you in the past - the Maudsley are a research centre and may have got your dx wrong, your Gp says there's now a local Adult ADHD service which can see you and lots more advice which suggests he's very dubious about Adult ADHD. I know you felt the meds weren't having much affect but you are still under the Maudsley and it would seem perfectly reasonable to ask for another appointment. I think youve got nail on head with this GP he speaks very dubiously about it. I am under no illusions what so ever. I joined and aired this with a (nearly) local facebook support group and the sentiment there is the same. I could stay at the same surgery and always see the other GPs but i can never remember to book appointments in time so have to use their walk in clinics and it ends up being a lottery. I know other people locally who have had issues with the same guy relating to allergy issues and diabetes being dismissed... one of which ended with a lucky escape as a school teacher had fortunately had epi-pen training and was able to help the "dismissed" child when they had a scary reaction. The guy is dangerous and i honestly think it comes down to funding and budgets being his priority. Its been a ridiculously different experience with the private spinal treatment but mental health isnt covered and its weird but I almost feel guilty for using the private cover I had.
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Post by computermandan on Sept 8, 2016 10:21:36 GMT
Indeed im in agreement with all of the above. I WILL be changing GP surgery in the near future i just have to get through a few important bits in the near future. I will press for a return to Maudsley on the back of the switch. The new place current GP is trying to refer me to is an east london service that provides some mental health services locally... no mention anywhere of adult adhd services though so ut will be very new. That aside my back issues have become the prominent problem and the 8 weeks private cover i have left after being made redundant are being made the most of. I have a prolapsed disc. I am going in for spinal surgery on the 20th to resolve that. However it is now proven that i also have a longer right leg and so a pelvic tilt and quite a curved spine that is also twisted! Bizarre really but its being addressed. So seemingly i would probably had to have stopped the mph along with the ibuprofen etc now as the blood pressure needs to be low low low for surgeon to be happy to operate. So the spine first and the adhd next. I am positive that these negatives have come at once so i can get past them and work out a new direction after the event. In other news i heard a whisper interviews are happening for a semi replacement of myself... bit naughty of former employers but I signed away rights so they are allowed to get on with it. (Assuming whispers are correct of course) Anyway back on topic honestly I'm not sure the mph was overcoming the downsides of my adhd... i had got to the stage where i naughtily had tried two 60mg doses a day for a week and noticed no real difference barring being exceptionally chatty. It wasnt clever and ironically the BP stayed almost the same. But messing around like that is dumb and I'm best leaving it for now and reviewing it properly with someone who knows what they are talking about. As said i will address it asap around this other apparently risky surgery (cue anxiety)
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Post by computermandan on Sept 5, 2016 10:45:48 GMT
Well I loved finding Dory. Somehow Identify a LOT with the character of a forgetful fish that feels the need to apologise to everyone all the time for their mistakes and errors... (yes there were secret tears haha) I haven't found a job yet. I'm dreading eye contact more with each passing day! And i saw my gp and he decided to stop the medikinet... I should be irritated but im not sure it was helping anyway. I quizzed mr GP on his local referral - he skimmed thru his emails (that i noticed were ALL about whether to fund or not) mentioned speed at least 3 times. Told me to consider contracting for work and advised i just "keep fingers crossed" that i could see a local psych about my issues and he "wont mention adhd" in the next referral? ? Im so puzzled i couldnt speak. Not sure what im waiting or not waiting for now? So i managed to sneak a look at the name of the place and it's ELFT or similar so im gonna look up what they do (or at least try). Madness. In other news my dog has got into bother. Claims r us type legal firm wrote to us claiming compensation for a lacerated hand of a leaflet distributor Im yet to work out the physics of a little westie tearing into someones hand through a little letter box like ours but im sure we will soon find out
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Post by computermandan on Sept 1, 2016 12:28:54 GMT
I'm glad you had a good holiday Yes, job hunting is awful. . I'm doing it at the moment. I'm also really bad at selling myself. Then, writing applications. . the more that I want the job, the harder it is to do. . I know what I should write, but as soon as I get in front of paper or the computer, I go blank. I'm finding having a disability employment advisor good. . not for the 'disability' bit, but just someone who knows what should be said. . talking it through and making notes . . Then there's the rejection. . I haven't been selected for interview for a couple of jobs that I was perfectly qualified for. . it's hard enough for the NTs . .but it's absolutely devastating and makes the next application even harder. Good luck! and I hope that you get your back sorted! Thank you and good luck in your search too!
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Post by computermandan on Sept 1, 2016 0:59:00 GMT
Well... we survived the Isle of Wight... it was nice. I threw a few strops (it happens with demands of waking and cooking and showering rapidly before going somewhere lol). But generally it was good fun! Anyway we're back and it's up and down and stressed then relaxed and raaaaahhhh! Lol. So I was made redundant. Semi dubious circumstances that i can't legally go into having signed a settlement waiving rights to challenge it etc etc. And now its post holiday job seeking. I loathe job hunting. I despise it. I under sell myself. I can't look people in the eye. I am hopeless at timing and just processing the masses of job ads and applications etc etc and it just drives me nuts... And EVERYONE is on my case... "get a job fast, or you will run out of money" hmmm logical yet unrequired thanks!! Thankfully work have continued my health insurance for 12 weeks so i saw a spinal specialist yesterday and had xrays and am booked for a saturday mri before he decides which parts they will remove and replace with bionic transformer robots in disguise components! So at least the back issues can hopefully be resolved asap. Whatever it takes! Phew had to rant about that. In other news an old school friend of my wife has got in touch and become a good friend of mine - he has adhd too and is in the process of making a film about it amongst other cool ideas and projects. He's asked me to help with a couple of bits and I'm actually quite excited about the prospect of promoting the positives of adhd... Things are changing but its all part of the adventure methinks! 😃 and im going to see the disney fish film tomorrow 🐟 So just keep swimming folks Oh and my medikinet is running out and gp is difficult and he didnt have a clue about his own other referral when i asked... I will have to focus on that next week once the kids are back at school... need direction for sure!
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Post by computermandan on Aug 10, 2016 10:06:50 GMT
Hey diddly dee a complicated, bumpy life for me... So spanner in the works time. Tried to be a good employee and pushed my gp for a "fit for work" note as i thought i could cope with going back to work despite ongoing back troubles and pain... Went into work, got called into a meeting after half an hour. Now i have to be careful what I type... but effectively i might be unemployed very soon... And breathe. I am struggling to handle the things that I know I need to handle and I'm laying here in semi shutdown mode secretly hoping its all going to sort itself out... So much for moving house too Groaaaaaaaaaan!
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Post by computermandan on Jul 25, 2016 18:46:37 GMT
I could try contacting someone at the Maudsley but I've found it hard to persevere with it as they're busy most of the time as far as i can tell. My gp surgery is a nightmare atm as they've switched from appointments to a walk-in system that has already led to a couple of parking fines after long wait times. But the main issue is not seeing the same doctor each time. The doctor i have seen most of the time is very accommodating but the chap i saw last... well you read my last post i know several ppl who have changed surgery because of him too. Considering the same approach but i think better the devil you know and all that! I do think the meds have come straight from the GP budget so far and the review would be funding dependant which may be why this chap had a rethink.
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Post by computermandan on Jul 20, 2016 10:42:51 GMT
Feel for you sir. I know what you mean about that wall. Being computer geeky i see it like a firewall i cant get through or i just dont know the password for but everyone else does. I used to go fishing with my dad as a kid and i remember loving it but being hopeless.. cant remember knots or even if i do i skip buts and generally ended up in a knotted mess... never mind the times ive sat for hours without bait on the hook!!! This was one of the main things that made me feel different to everyone else. As a teen it was girls... i just couldnt do conversation at all never mind be attentive. As an adult its become friends and family... the people that made the effort to keep in touch when younger are busy now and as i forget it gets percieved as a lack of interest and so they dont bother any more. I always got on with my old man. He didnt drink so it was computers film and games but again i always forget to keep in touch and so we see my wife's family all the time as she doesnt forget and in turn my family get fed up with me for what seems bias etc. Its kind of balanced out over time and what i call my real friends make an effort to say hello once in a while - they dont seem to get the adhd thing and i suspect they also think im making excuses and i understand that. Chin up boss you will get there in the end and we will find our own little happy medium somewhere
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Post by computermandan on Jul 20, 2016 10:30:49 GMT
Cant say i get the looking at everyone bit i hate looking at people lol... makes me self conscious But that little gem at the end... traffic, 30mph and 20mph speed limits i do get. I feel caged and irritable like there is not enough to keep me focused on the job in hand (the road) and i start noticably getting distracted by other things... literally anything. Wife goes into auto second pilot when we slow down as she know what im like... wouldnt have attributed it to ADHD beforehand but i wrote off her car in a 20mph zone about 14 years ago and got in trouble "driving without due care and attention" paid a fine and went on an improvement course. So yep. That slow thing = Grrrrrrr lol
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Post by computermandan on Jul 20, 2016 10:16:38 GMT
Ok so in going back and forth to GP for what somehow has become nearly 6 weeks... Ive lost my appetite completely and a stone in weight to boot (not such a bad thing) I dont think the Medikinet (methylphenidate) has really helped with my adhd symptoms in the process tho I have been taking 100mg split into 3 doses daily in the form of 30mg, 40mg, 30mg and whilst i've noticed a slight improvement with the 40mg dose in terms of "get up and go" i dont think its really making a difference in the main. The maudsley advice was to titrate up to 100mg a day then review with them. My GP (seen just now {the dismissive one again } ) wasnt keen and tried to tell me they were prescribing me speed and that Maudsley is a research center and adhd diagnosis is complex and maybe they got it wrong and he mentioned it could be psychosis!! I'm not sure if it was just pure BS or if he was just plucking random medical conditions from his (clearly literal rather than practical) knowledge?? In any case he stated that there is now some kind of local provision or "team" for adult adhd and he has asked one of the practice secretaries to refer me there now... My thinking is if it eliminates the need to see him then its likely a good thing. I would have preferred to go direct back to maudsley but he didnt say that wouldnt happen. In other news ive been signed off for the last 6 weeks with a back injury. I can barely walk more than a few yards. Work pushed me down the private insurance route and a new physio has changed the diagnosis from a protruding disc issue to a "sacro-iliac" joint disfunction caused by having one leg 3.5cm shorter than the other! This doesnt bode well for our end of august camping trip as i dont really suit a foreman role in instructibg others in how to put the tent up... i get a littlw short fused shall we say! i've been extra useless at home due to the leg/back too. My wife and my kids are fed up with me being around. Im fed up with the injury and lack of progress with the ADHD so v grumpy to boot. Suspect my wife expected a miracle cure but she insists ive just got worse. In the meantime my father in law came and pretty much finished decorating our house for us and its now on the market but not selling as quick as we'd hoped - adding to stress levels. Oh and my wife also decided to stop taking her anxiety reducing meds (cant remember name) that have helped her so much... because she didnt have time for a gp appointment. So shes especially frantic and apportioning blame in my direction at the moment... We plod onwards without direction. Hoping it will all fix itself without taking casualties. Groooaaannn.
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Post by computermandan on May 31, 2016 16:59:00 GMT
Everyone else runs round in a mad Dad's army type "Don't Panic Don't Panic" fashion... and there's me straight out of a Lock Stock scene. "Chiiiiill Wistonnn, it's just Gloria"
not in the literal sense of course... lol
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Post by computermandan on May 31, 2016 15:54:40 GMT
ok so it's been a while.. been pretty hectic in that time too. spent over the odds on a BP monitor when I probably didn't need to... so far used it twice.
Got fed up with a GP (not the chap I've seen most of the time) after he dismissed the specialist's titration plan as "ridiculous" and "it's as if these experts think you're our only patient!" before rattling on about the instant release dosage being pointless and asking me why I'm not on the 1 a day form of the medicine. It's kind of lucky it was a telephone appointment because I'd had a run in with this chap before and safe calm distance in a quiet office was much needed to prevent me losing it otherwise.
anyway I just need to request to NOT speak to that GP in future...
so we're up to 20mg three times a day... have noticed initially that I was a bit more on the go than usual for around 3 hours in between doses... still no negative side effects as far as I can tell either. sleeping was affected if I took the last dose too late - been a little forgetful on occasion with that one... and the resulting late nights were interesting to say the least! (painting at 4am when you set off for work at 7am is a bit daft!) it's possible that my attention
Essentially I'm still the same me, ditsy, forgetful, little-bit-empty-promises, late. Which for me just highlights some of the habitual stuff I need to shake off with routine and actually just making an effort. Perhaps recognising where I have just kind of given in to symptoms in the past I can now focus on overcoming.
I think my next steps are to invest some time in planning the "what next" steps of improving life for me and kind of those around me at the same time (as a result of).
The remember the milk to-do's have been updated and so we're coping for now amidst mayhem in the way of "workload" at work and in the way of "we've decided to move house" at home... Am I mad or what??? it's all a little bit go go go on all fronts... I put my back out again this weekend - aggravated the lower back disc injury first suffered this time last year... so there will be a DIY delay that the taskmaster (wife) shall have to get used to for the moment.
so in effect - there's been no lightbulb moment thus far that I've read some people talk about. I do feel positive about the meds, and perhaps there's a little more focus in places I've not noticed... maybe I feel less "distracted" I'm not sure yet lol...
onwards!
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