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Post by grim on Sept 13, 2014 20:34:31 GMT
This instructor is obviously an arrogant,unprofessional arsehole!
Belittling you in that way is completely unacceptable and i urge you to report his behaviour to whoever he works for,or whoever contracted him,and definitely to what ever professional body he belongs to. His actions are that of a shallow,ignorant bully and should not go unpunished.
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Post by grim on Sept 11, 2014 20:01:26 GMT
Update, Have just got appointment through to see psychiatrist on the 18th of this month for a review of my meds. I hope i can get something useful in place...i start college next week and we move house in about 4 weeks...both of which require me to be neurogroovy.(yes i made up a new word,you're welcome ) Oh yeah,college...that's going to be an adventure!
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Post by grim on Sept 4, 2014 7:58:21 GMT
Hi, Heads a little clearer now after a few med free days.
Spoke to my gp yesterday about strattera,but he has to refer me back to the local mental health team to sort it.
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Post by grim on Aug 31, 2014 19:38:56 GMT
This is becoming ridiculous,i am clinging to the edge of sanity,or so it feels. Since the above post on 22/8 i have gone from initial opitimism to confused disappointment. My symtoms(,according to Mrs Grim) are worse then they ever have been,including before i was diagnosed. So that's like,forever. Problem is,since diagnosis,i have become "self aware" of my adhd so i am painfully conscious of the fact that i am really not doing at all well. Out of desparation at midday today i took a small dose of concerta (36mg). It helped a little...but... My mood dived twice during the afternoon,round about the time i would estimate that the first two releases were wearing off (and before the next dose kicked in)...and round about 7pm,when it was all wearing off,i was engulfed in a wave of depression that was almost painful in it's intensity. I feel ok again now,but i don't know where to go from here. I can't really function well without meds,concerta just makes me want to die with the rollercoaster of mood swings (ir mph is the same,i can't cope with peaks and troughs...and i never get the dosing times right. Concerta/mph works great at some points during the day,but there seems to be a very small window for this.
Which makes me curious about how the drug is delivered. Instead of three separate releases,what about a long release mph that has an initial release and then a consistent release with no ups or down?
Anyone point me in the right direction?
I can't tolerate dex,it just makes me pissed off. Mph is good,sometimes,but the downside is bad...and being bipolar i'm concerned that if i hit a low cycle and have these concerta related lows at the same time i might have a serious problem.
Any input would be useful,and sorry if I've rambled a little but i'm feeling a bit ragged and fragile right now.
Thanks
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Post by grim on Aug 31, 2014 11:09:33 GMT
supine,the longest i took concerta for was about 9 months. I was on and off it (and rit,and dex)for around 3 years. Never felt right on it in hindsight,i could live with the constant mild agitation but the deppression just kept getting worse,unbearably so.(not sure that stimulants and bipolar are a good mix)
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Post by grim on Aug 30, 2014 19:07:36 GMT
Yes.
I stopped taking concerta a couple of weeks ago,due in part to the depression i experienced on the come down every day.
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Post by grim on Aug 22, 2014 18:56:54 GMT
Stopped again! Haven't had any adhd meds for a week. The constant undercurrent of low level anxiety and the abject deppression that accompanied every come down became unbearable...and progressively longer lasting. I am still taking my bipolar meds,there's no question of stopping them...ever. ...and i'm getting a little help from protein shakes,berroca,and coffee.
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Post by grim on Aug 4, 2014 8:15:26 GMT
I'm happy you've found an approach that seems to work pet,that's really good news...especially an approach that avoids a shouty confrontation type of scenario.
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Post by grim on Aug 2, 2014 19:05:38 GMT
Thanks grim. Firstly, with ODD - is it like adhd where brain is wired differently so 'lack of respect of authority' can't be helped? And secondly, from what I've read, people with adhd tend to feel terrible for their 'shortcomings and failings'. Is this not the case with ODD? Hi, "Firstly" - ODD has been linked to (amongst other things) improperly functioning neurotransmitters,so it is very possible that it's not a deliberate way of acting. "Secondly" - Definitely not the case. My young'un (not that young,he's 19 this year) will never accept responsibility for his often obnoxious behaviour. It's always someone,or something elses,fault...and why is he always being treated so unfairly etc etc. There's also nothing in the way of guilt or remorse...or even recognition that feelings might have been hurt etc.
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Post by grim on Aug 2, 2014 8:45:30 GMT
Hey Pet, One of my brood is diagnosed adhd with o.d.d.
I'll help if i can
Ask away,or shoot me a message if you'd prefer.
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Post by grim on Jul 22, 2014 19:03:30 GMT
Similar here.
My alarm wakes me at 6am,i take concerta and doze off again 'til about 7am...and i hit the ground running by about 7.10.
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Post by grim on Jul 7, 2014 18:57:07 GMT
Any experiences please share. What are your cycles like? Your highs, lows, psychosis, coincidences, your coping strategies.... Thanks Mighty,what do you mean by coincidences? (I'm probably missing something blindingly obvious,but hey) Oh,and I was diagnosed with type 1 bipolar 14 years ago.
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Post by grim on Jul 4, 2014 18:51:49 GMT
I have a collection of knives,most of which are sharp enough to shave with. When someone handles one of them I will mention that they're sharp...but almost without fail,and regardless of age,all males will run their thumb along the blade.(often regretting it immediately) ...And a lot then go on to have an imaginary sword fight with what I can only guess to be some invisible pirate captain ...which makes little sense to me,you need a sword for a sword fight. Women,on the other hand,usually look as if they're holding a live scorpion,a quick "hmm,yes,very nice" and it's handed back without delay.
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Post by grim on Jun 23, 2014 21:46:00 GMT
My "revealing my gender" was a little cryptic,and had quite a few possible interpretations...so it wasn't an easy one to get as such. If I'd read it as written by someone else I'd probably still be wondering exactly what was meant by it (And so there's no confusion,I was referring to public nudity all along ...And it does get you in trouble ) Just to redress the balance,here's a joke that requires little or no effort to get: What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
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Post by grim on May 31, 2014 23:33:51 GMT
shame it didn't do what you wanted but hey grim we can only try. i'd be interested to hear a wee bit about what it felt like being off after having been on meds longterm, and what it feels like as you go back on - as in, what feels different? if you can be arsed that is. hope you feel the good bits again soon Ok,let's see... I felt tired,really tired,all of the time.2 and a bit years on stimulants is a big hill to roll back down i guess,i've literally been able to fall asleep at will...something I've never been able to do,and not something i'm comfortable with. The free flowing thoughts were good to begin with,but over a couple of weeks escalated to the point were i jammed up.Following conversation became harder and harder. I started missing things that needed doing. Little things like the bin in the kitchen,that form i need to fill in,you know the stuff. Mrs Grim said i was avoiding things and putting things off...she also said that i'd gone into a high phase of bipolar which probably accounted for my decision to come off the dex (just once I'd like to be the first to notice a shift in mood,just once ) She would have said something about it had i not started on meds again. Back on meds... The most obvious difference to me is that i notice the little details again,the small things that need attention,the things that normally get swept under my metaphorical rug. ...and i have stayed awake all day,go me!
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Post by grim on May 31, 2014 19:43:20 GMT
Oh well,back to the drawing board I've started back with dex today,after the initial honeymoon period of being unmedicated wore off i gradually felt like i was wading in treacle...the freedom of thought became a logjam of epic proportions! So there! ...but i won't let it get me down. That is all
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Post by grim on May 26, 2014 19:01:23 GMT
Always.
But i'd honestly live in my bizarre and surreal reality as opposed to the seemingly grey monotonous shallow existence that "they" live in.
There,mad as a lorry,me!
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Post by grim on May 24, 2014 19:14:48 GMT
Just checking in... I think the couple of years on meds has helped ingrain some habits. I'm managing to empty bins before the "refuse volcano" erupts on the kitchen floor,pick up after the dogs before the "dogpoo volcano"...you know the rest I've also enrolled on not one but two short college courses,following a "study things that i'm really interested in" rationale. My thought train is stuck in overdrive,but I'm tempering that by making a note/taking a photo/creating some sort of momento for any thought that i think I'll need again. All in all i still feel quite positive,so far so good.
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Post by grim on May 24, 2014 18:49:59 GMT
Yeah,i get that sometimes. It feels a bit like i'm just a spectator passing through some surreal environment that i don't belong in.
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Post by grim on May 18, 2014 19:43:19 GMT
I think it took two and a bit years on mph or dex to realise that it wasn't for me. Maybe there was a touch of "the emperor's new clothes"...i.e. i read the wonderful effects it had on others and assumed it was having the same effect on me. It wasn't. My ability to focus improved,but only to the extent that i could perform "mundane" tasks for long periods of fime.e.g housework,decorating (i absolutely detest painting,but managed to repaint the interior of our house in about 3 days).Anything requiring a bit of creative vision was beyond me,in hindsight i feel i'd morphed into some kind of uncomplicated drone worker...and the meds calmed my mind to such an extent that i could only really think about what was occuring right then and there. Having adhd means i have trouble locating myself in linear time,but on meds i felt like i was detached from normal time...i just "was".
When i was diagnosed i went onto meds that day,so this is the first (other than a two day break) time that i have been unmedicated and "adhd aware",and it's different. I know why things are as they are,now that I've done the research.I can accept myself as i am,i have to,i couldn't carry on in the stifled medicated state.I felt caged,i need to let my mind run free...but i'm confident that i can take charge when i need to.
Maybe being untreated for 45 years is just too long a time to try to change the "operating system",i think it'll run ok with just a few updates.
N.B It is possible the being bipolar has played a part in all this. I'm fairly rapid cycling which makes my reactions to meds,etc inconsistent at best.
Don't know if i've passed on any insight or just waffled randomly,if i've missed anything please ask.
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Post by grim on May 17, 2014 19:58:41 GMT
I believe you may have a point there contrarymary
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Post by grim on May 17, 2014 10:16:46 GMT
One week in and I've had the best week i've had for ages.
It's hard work,keeping my head "in the room" takes a good bit of effort...
The main difference i think is that i spent years not on meds,but also not knowing that i had adhd...this time I'm not taking meds...but i DO KNOW that i have adhd,and just knowing how adhd affects me day to day eliminates a lot of frustration and anxiety.
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Post by grim on May 13, 2014 18:57:35 GMT
So far so good. I'm more tired than usual,and less motivated (only "less",i still have enough to get through the day's doings) My tribe have commented that i seem more chilled and tolerant,which is a good thing.
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Post by grim on May 11, 2014 19:28:10 GMT
I've decided to go it a go without medication Having my racing thoughtstream calmed down is one thing,but being not...quite...able...to fully think about anything is more (to me) frustrating than focusing on everything at once It's the same with both mph and dex,this vague feeling of not fully being "on the ball" There's also the increased lack of patience,and a few other niggles. All of which has brought about this decision to go sans meds,at least for the time being. So far,after two days,i feel really bloody ill ...but other than that i'm doing ok,and if I'm frankly honest the increasing amount of neural randomness is not altogether unpleasant. but we'll see...
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Post by grim on Apr 12, 2014 8:11:52 GMT
My watch is: Shock proof Waterproof Dustproof Solar powered Remotely updated everyday (by what i can only assume is magic) so it is astoundingly accurate It even has a night light that comes on automatically when i tilt it toward my face to look at it
...none of which stops me losing it as soon as i take it off though!
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Post by grim on Apr 3, 2014 10:56:19 GMT
Now i have an image of pitta breads with prosthetic feet hunched over keyboards trying to work out what we're all talking about
Lovely
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Post by grim on Mar 31, 2014 18:55:45 GMT
Swimming? I do weight lifting and Martial Arts... Same for me....but more combatives/self protection than martial arts. Helps to "balance" me mentally,i feel completely adrift if i have more than a week or so off I also walk 3-4 miles a day with the dog,which is a nice way to get away from everything for a bit
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Post by grim on Feb 19, 2014 20:13:07 GMT
My username is most people's first impression of me. O.o Kinda want to know more, now... Well...i look like my avatar,weigh in at around 230lbs,and am blunt and straight to the point...and a bit intimidating,apparently Second and maybe third impressions,however,reveal a much less grim character
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Post by grim on Feb 18, 2014 20:11:32 GMT
My username is most people's first impression of me.
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Post by grim on Feb 14, 2014 22:35:45 GMT
Ride it out ak,it takes a while for you and the meds to find your groove.
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